toughest anwswer

I have to disagree with you on this.  It is true that actions speak louder than words by from my own personal experience, when you finally are secure in yourself and the other person, it can happen!!  We truly give the one that loves us most the most hurt when we dont feel secure with ourselves, that is no excuse just the pure truth.

Yes there are truly people that will never change and after several failed attempts to make amends, we still make mistakes.  I have been that person that had to learn the hard way that being insecure and not trustworthy of anyone is the loneliest and agonizing thing in the world.  It is exactly like the boy who cried wolf you know.

I dont know the circumstances of your relationship Scott but I do know this, if you love this woman and cant see life without her, dig down in both of your minds and figure out why her actions are such, I have found that thinking I am in it alone made me even more insecure.

I know that it is hard to trust after so many hurtful events and the only advice i can give you is this.......The feeling of security is so important.  For me, when I had security in my relationship, I could do no wrong, it is all about security for most women.

Good luck and fight til the bitter end if you have to.

I suppose in my mind, if you have to think about it then the true answer is "No, I wont have you back" because unless you 100% sure (Which doesnt require thought) you will always have doubts which can then upset the apple-cart again. Personally, I would not focus so intensely on something that might / might not happen. Try to move forward with certainties.

Darren

First I want to say that yes I am the bad guy in this situation and do I regret it? MORE THAN ANYONE COULD EVER KNOW!!  I am almost convinced that he is gone from my life forever as I have told myself that he will never trust me or our relationship again.  I made so many STUPID mistakes that werent losing him over.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is my faith that keeps my heart open to the posibilities of a future with this man.  And yes he is right to feel as he does like so many other people but what you have to understand is that losing someone you know that you hurt makes you want to try so much harder, do I deserve it?  Absolutely not because of what has transpired between us.

It is my illness that has helped tear this relationship apart.

Most of you know me  and the plight that I have taken to reconcile with this man.  All I have is my word and my heart which are both broken right now.  I am the bad guy here but it woild kill me to think that you all felt that way about me.

You know how sorry I am and that I would do anything to remedy what has happened but all I have now are the days alone to think about what I did, it is pure torture, trust me.

As I said in my previous post, I do not know the extent of the relationship here in question but if she is trying and is true to her heart, then she deserves a chance, don't destroy yourself mentally to fix this but although your head may say one thing, your heart and soul may have a totally different opinion.

One of the meanings of faith is:

"FAITH IS BEING SURE OF WHAT YOU HOPE FOR AND CERTAIN OF THINGS YOU CANNOT SEE"

Hebrews 11:1

"We are made strong by difficulties we face not evade.

I know that you are right.  I guess I am just so passionate about my plight that I think everyone is trying as hard as I am to grow and understand what I did wrong.

I guess I just think that there is hope for others when I know how true I am to getting myself back as a person.

Some people dont want to get their relationship back, I forget about that. :)