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Posted 3/3/2008 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hey I don't know if anyone remembers me. It's been a while. I haven't been having much luck in getting rid of my depression. My happiness seems to go up and down, but often way down and barely back up. My self esteem is in the trash because of my dad. I'm in high school and I try and try, but I can't seem to do as well as my dad wants me to do. He keeps saying that I'm basically a failure. In my school I found a club that I fit really well into so I try to spend most of my time after school in it. It's a technical theatre thing and the people there are kind of going through the same thing as I am, but my parents don't want me spending so much time there. I realize that they don't want me there so long, but when I'm at home, my dad and my mom have an almost hostile attitude towards me. I actually feel happy at tech, but my mom is limiting the time I spend there, lowering my self esteem. What should I do? I love it there, I almost feel like I did before I became depressed. I almost forget my "failures" I feel as if I'm cared for. Again, what should I do?

Froggy

Posted 3/3/2008 9:31 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there Froggy!

Yes, I remember you! Its a difficult position to be in, but there has to come a point where you have to decide what you want to do with your life. I cant remember off the top of my head how old you are. I think its around 17. You obviously enjoy the theatre... have you considered being an actor? How are your studies going?

Darren

Posted 3/3/2008 10:16 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I'm glad you remember me. I'm 16 my grades are hovering around high b's and a's. I'm a sophomore and my only C is in Physics. I'm not much of an actor, but I enjoy working with the people who build up the set. It really does take my mind off of more sad and stressful things. However, I plan to be a doctor, but the way things seem to be going, I don't think I'll be able to do it.
Posted 3/3/2008 11:34 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you dont mind me asking, but who wants you to be a doctor? You or your parents? You can make very good money in set construction for films and TV. Your grades seem really good (Although I am from the UK, so I have to confess I dont know what Sophomore means!) so I dont see any reason why you could not be a doctor if thats what you wanted. What makes you think otherwise?
Posted 3/3/2008 11:42 AM (GMT 0)
I wanted to be a doctor. But now I have doubts that I'll be able to concentrate enough to get through a rigorous college. Sophomores are basically 10th graders. High School. Now I think that i might do set construction for theatre, but my parents would never approve and becoming anything lee that a doctor would mean that I failed. I don't know if you know the stereotype of Chinese parents, but they basically want their children to be super geniouses who get higher than A's and anything under that is NOT acceptable. My dad can get scary when he gets mad at me for not. I just feel kinda lost and confused about what I want to do with my future. Whenever I start to, I start getting sort of panicy and nervous and I hate that feeling. It usually takes my a good half hour to get back to normal. Maybe it's my meds. Maybe it's because I'm going insane!
Posted 3/3/2008 11:54 AM (GMT 0)
lol I dont think you are going insane. Have you talked to a careers advisor about the future? I know this might be easier said than done, but at some point your parents will have to let you make your own decisions... and your career should be one of the first. Doctoral training is really hard (I know because I have a friend who does it!) but set design and construction can be just as hard. It depends what YOU see yourself doing in 30 years time.
Posted 3/3/2008 1:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Froggy

Welcome back. I am so sorry that things are not improving for you... I agree with all of the advice that you have been given.. and seeing counselor is probably one the best things you can do.

Sometimes Parents push too hard,and I am not sure they even realize it... I am hoping yours does soon.

Please keep posting we want to be here for you.
Posted 3/3/2008 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
I'm in school right now and I feel empty. I feel even more depressed than I have in months! My mom told me that I can't stay after school for tech, but thy need me there. I don't know how to tell my mom that I need to be there until 9:30 at night because of the job that I have involved in this musical that is going on. But she will reply something like "Isn't there someone else that can do it? You don't NEED to be there. Staying late at school is UNACCEPTABLE!" I don't know how to tell her that this is an important thing right now and that I can balance all of it without loosing out to her in sobs. I'll probably end up in trouble either way I go.

I feel selfish in saying this, but I want someone to notice that I'm not okay, and that I need someone here in person. I tried to go to my councelor, but she didn't sound like she knew what she was talking about.

Depression is coming back, and stronger than ever. i don't think I'll be able to withstand it with school stress added on top. I don't want to drop out of school just because of some stupid mental sickness! I feel so frustrated. I'm just so glad that I have people like you guys here to help me. I feel pathetic in seeking help over the internet instead of facing it in real life. What am I ever going to do about my life? Ugh...
Posted 3/3/2008 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Froggie,

I suggest you take it one day at a time. Is there any way you can do the theatre construction and still come home kind of early. Could you explain to them that you can't stay until 9:30 maybe until 7 or 8. Maybe then your mom would go for it. Besides don't you have homework? I hope that you can work this out being that it makes you feel better. Good luck to you and keep posting, wer are here for you.
hugs, Karen
Posted 3/3/2008 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,
Besides the club, there are many other appealing things to do. If you have to cut your time on the tech, why don't you seek other meaningful things. I believe your parents just want you have a good prospect. So although their approaches are inappropriate, you'd better understand it. Other than that, you should manage to make them understand what depression means to you before they can understand you. Maybe you can give me their Email address, I can help you.
Posted 3/3/2008 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Wow do I know exactly what you're talking about!
My parents put me through the exact same thing and I'll tell you what, high school was so stressful, the worst years of my life for sure.
I wanted to be a nurse and if I got anything under an A, my parents would either get upset or say "you could have done better". It was really hard to deal with because I felt like I was ruining everything.

Let me tell you this. I'm almost 23 now and I really regret getting so worked up over high school because it just does not matter. Getting your diploma is important of course, but how you get there and the drama and the frustration... Once you're done with high school it's all in the past. Whether you get an A or B makes no difference in the end. Of course there's no way to explain this to parents so the best you can do is just humor them until it's over.
Posted 3/4/2008 12:54 AM (GMT 0)
Gettingby: I already tried to reason with her. 7 is too late and it ends up being 5. I get out of school at 3:30. I have a show to run on Thursday Friday and Saturday. I really hope my mom will let me stay for those, because I really do NEED to be there. The unsettling thing is that I think they think that I'm not really at tech and really screwing around somewhere else. I don't even know what I did for them to think that. I never leave the house or have done anything like that before. I really hate talking to my mom about these things, because it only leaves me feeling worse than I was before I started telking. My points seem weak and are smashed out by my mom's words.

Asyouknow: I don't think I can put my e-mail in post form. I did it with someone else before, but I can't remember! Forum Moderators, do you have an idea? I really would like to get in touch with people via e-mail.

Ediekristen: Phew, I thoiught I was the only one who had parents like that. But colleges look so closely at transcripts and such. It's so overwhelming to try to do really well in every aspect that colleges are looking for. I get all anxious every time I even start thinking of college and preparing for it! I still have two years, but I know that they will fly by and then I'll be at my last year of high school, completely unprepared.

When my mom first found out that I was depressed, she was really careful with me. Now I think she only sees me as a burden who is using up money on medications that cost a lot, and just not succeding in life. I hate to admit this, but I often forget to do all the things my mom expects me to remember and then it gets her even more mad at me because I don't remeber. I know she's trying to get me ready for life, but her tactics are really rough.
Posted 3/5/2008 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Froggy,

I am a mom with a daughter your age and a son who is a sophmore in college. I do understand what you are going thru. My suggestion to you is to invite your parents to the play. Let them see what you have done and how much everyone appreciates you. As far as colleges go your parents need to understand that not only do they look at transcripts they look at your extra curricular activity, they want you to be well rounded.
I wish you the best of luck and we are here for ya
Christy
Posted 3/10/2008 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
I invited my mom and sister to the play. They really liked it, but I don't think that really changed my mom's odd thoughts about me staying late. I love tech and I want to continue doing it... i just don't know what to do
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