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Scared, confused, and sick of it all!

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Depression
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Posted 3/17/2008 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
I'm back again and the time that I took off of this site to "clear my mind" actually seemed to make it worse. A week ago, everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. My mom was yelling at me for loosing all sorts of things. Since then, I can't seem to fall asleep. I haven't slept in a week and if I did, I don't ever remember going to sleep. It's been taking its toll on me. I've been forgetting things left and right. I made an appointment wuith one of my teachers to make up a test, and somehow, it slipped my mind. Th enext day, she laid this whole guilt trip thing on me. I know she means well. I made another appt. with her and I forgot that one too. She's about had it with me, but she doesn't seem to understand, and even I don't even understand why I keep forgetting things. Shes not one of those teachers who will listen to you talk and actually care. 

Eventhough I haven't slept for a while, I somehow can't seem to get my homework done either! I have all the time in the world to do it, and yet it either slips my mind, or i thought I already did it! Everything seems to be spiraling out of control and now I'm afraid to go back to school and face my teachers again only to have them badger me about things, that I just can't seem to get my butt moving on. I want to tell them so badly that i'm depressed, but I know that it probably wouldn't make a difference. I mean, why would it? I can't get anything together.

I really have no motivation to start on the homework that was due a while ago. I wish I could just forget about those assignments and just keep moving. I just don't want to go to school right now. I know that I have to continue my education, but right now, i fear that if i go to school, I'll feel even worse than I do now, and I'll go spiraling back down that deep hole that I've worked hard to crawl up in the last year. My emotions feel so fragile and if another thing just nudges it, i don't think I'll beable to recover.

Posted 3/17/2008 10:55 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Froggy,

Sleep is a vital part of human health. If you are not sleeping properly, everything suffers. This may be one of the problems which is causing the lathergy. Regarding the homework... have you considered getting a chalkboard or something where you can write all the stuff that needs to be done and then erase it when you have done it? That way, you would be able to keep better track of what is done. Have you considered talking to someone other than your teacher? Perhaps there is another teacher who knows you that you could talk to?

Always remember that we will be here if you need to vent

Darren

Posted 3/17/2008 11:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Froggy

As Darren sleep sleep is very important.
I really think you need to talk to your school counselor and try to get some help for the depression.

Try getting a small appointment book,so you can write everything down.

Have you talked to your mom about your problem with not sleeping? I am sure once she figures out that you are having major problems,then hopefully she will take the steps needed to get you some help.
Posted 3/17/2008 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
I know how important sleep is. I'm dead tired right now, but for some reason, i can't fall asleep. I haven't told my mom about this, because i don't want her worrying about me so much. I know that that is a really dumb reason. Talking to a counselor just seems akward to me. It seems as if it's easier to talk with a person my own age face to face. When I talk to an adult face to face, everything sounds stupid or useless.
Posted 3/18/2008 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
I think that you should try and talk to somebody. Just because it is an adult, you shouldn't feel stupid or useless. I think that your mom is probably more worried not knowing what is wrong. Don't you kind of think that it would be easier if she knew how you feel? I think that it would help you sleep if you weren't worrying so. Like Shy said get a little book that you can write things down in and check them off as you do them. Darren has a huge point about not getting sleep. Your brain needs rem sleep. It is really important to your health.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/18/2008 9:12 AM (GMT 0)

I understand what you mean when you say talking to a councillor sounds stupid. When I started seeing mine, I had the same feeling. But then I realised that she was being paid to listen to people like me sounding stupid so I thought i'd make her earn her money! lol. Anything you say cannot leave that room except under exception circumstances (You would have to check your state law) so you have nothing to lose really. Go to her and spend an hour sounding stupid, and see how you feel... if you dont feel that bad, you know you can do it again!

Take the bull by the horns!

Darren

P.S I dont think what you say sounds stupid at all

Posted 3/18/2008 11:49 AM (GMT 0)
Froggy

Mom's are supposed to worry,that is part of having children...and if you don't tell her and something happens then she is going to be upset.

Your counselor is not going to think you sound stupid,they are going to take everything you said seriously and then hopefully you will be able to get the help you need.


If, you still feel that you don't want to talk to your mom or counselor, then what about asking your mom if you can go see your doctor,just tell her that you are having some problems that you are concerned about...at least then you can get some help with the sleeping problem.
Posted 3/19/2008 2:07 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks to everyone who posted. I'm actually sleeping now, however, what started it was odd. I actually passed out and sprained my wrist from the fall. The good thing is that I can sleep now! YAY!

I don't want to go see a counselor that costs money. I hate it when people spend money on me. I was thinking about my school counselor, but i don't thin kI can trust them to keep things from "leaving the room". I know that they need to contact my parents about me, but then it just gets rid of that "privacy". I just don't know. I think that now that i'm sleeping, i don't really see a need to tell my mom now. I don't know what i'd do if i had never found this site! you guys are awesome! scool

Posted 3/19/2008 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there!

I am so happy that you are sleeping now, but I am sorry that you had to fall and hurt your wrist to get there.

But it sounds like you are doing better and that makes us really happy.

I hope that this continues.

hugs, Karen
Posted 3/19/2008 11:47 AM (GMT 0)

Im really glad that you are sleeping now froggy! (Im sorry about the wrist, but at least some good came of it!) I dont know about the law in US schools regarding patient confidentiality... perhaps one of the US mods/members might be better placed to advise about that issue. I think you ought to talk to someone though.

Darren

Posted 3/20/2008 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Here the counseling is suppose to be kept confidential.

Either way you should seek counseling. It would really help you. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We all need it at one time or another. I see a psychiatrist and a psycologist. It helps me a lot.

I hope that you have a good day,

Hugs, Karen
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