Everyday is a struggle again

Hi,

Lately I haven't been able to sleep. Today is actually my 11th day awake. I have no idea how i'm still breathing, because I honestly have never heard of a person who could stay awake for so long. It's not like i don't want to, i just can't seem to be able to fall asleep. I don't know if the lack of sleep is the culprit to making my life a living hell, but lately, it's been really hard just to get myself to do anything productive. I have so much homework from school and i can't seem to... focus?... no.... maybe like make myself sit down and do it. I have this feeling that is like a restless feeling, but mixed with a feeling of dread and sad. Also, at night, when i'm in my room, since i can't sleep, it has given me way too much time to myself to think about things... mostly i seem to dwell on my past mistakes and how stupid i was, but then there are thoughts that i really would rather not think about.

Everyday just seems to be a stuggle now. Before, probably only a few weeks ago, i felt fine. I did all of my homework and I had a hold on my life again. That hold slipped and now everything seems a thousand times harder to deal with now.

Sorry if it was a bit repetitive.

Froggy

It does sound like you should see a doctor like Yana said. You can't continue to go on this way. You need sleep. Have you tried warm milk? Maybe try some meditation. You really should keep trying to fall asleep. You could fall asleep in the wrong place or something. Are you eating well? I am afraid that you will get run down and become sick.

PLease take care,

Hugs, Karen.

Depression seems to sneak in at any time, doesn't it. I was feeling wonderful and about a week ago it came back. I am irritable and I cry so easy. I am tired too. But I sleep and sleep and sleep if I can get away with it. But I fight that. I wish I could give you some of my sleep.LOL.

I hope that you feel better soon Froggy. Try to find something positive in every day, that helps and say positive things about yourself too.

You are a wonderful person, you help others here a lot. You deserve to feel good. I hope that you do and soon.

Hugs, Karen

hi froggy - i am new here. i, too, have been unable to sleep for days on end in the past. i tend, however, to be on the other end of the scale. i generally can't wake up once i DO get to sleep. however, i find it very hard to fall asleep. thankfully my doctor is a big fan of ambien. i take that with a glass of wine (i know i'm not supposed to drink when i'm on it...particularly with the cases where people wake up and drive) but i make sure to take it once my boyfriend takes my keys and hides them and is there with me. i'm sending positive thoughts your way. i hope that you can finally catch up soon. you need it. we are here for you. big hugs - sayza

HI Say,

I just wanted to welcome you to HealingWell. I think that you will find the people here very kind and compassionate.

Keep posting, we would like to hear more about you.

Have a great day,

hugs, Karen

Froggie, I hope that you see your doctor soon. You really have to be able to sleep, especially when you are starting to have hallucinations. Take care sweetie,

Hugs, Karen

Hey all,

Thanks for all the support :) My appt. isn't untill next week on thursday i think. If the world record is 19 days, i think i just might break it (not that i'm trying to though) On a sort of good note, i feel just a bit better, but still in the dumps. I'm so glad that tomorrow is friday, because i really need the weekend to "straighten" things out.

Froggy

Hi Froggy,

If you cant get a doctors appointment before next thursday I would present at your local ER dept (Thats what you call it in the US right?) Not sleeping for 12 days is not a good thing and can potentially be very dangerous. I really dont recommend you going for a world record since it wont count as there is no official there to monitor you, so please dont try and break it unofficially. Like Karen, I am very worried about you. Please seek medical help today if you can.

Darren

I understand exactly what you mean by when you try to go to bed and cant, it gives you more time to think. During summer before shcool started back, I ould only sleep during the day.... (weird) I would stay up all night from about in the evening until about or 7 in the morning. I would lie in bed sometimes though at about 2 or 3 in the morning and nothing would happen. I would start to think ALOT. My mind would race horribly. I would always end up crying. A few times I had attacks. It was never pleasant. When I did get to sleep, I didnt sleep well. Out circadian rhythm (internal clock) is meant for us to be awake during the day because our body temp and stuff changes throughout the day... Mine was totally screwed up! Plus, my house is loud, I have a loud mom and some brothers and sisters so... It wasnt easy sleeping during the day, but I hated going out. I liked being locked in my room just doing nothing on the computer.

But, it had serious consequences. I never did anything. I stayed locked up. I didnt get the sleep I needed. Plus, when school started back...it was horrible trying to turn myself around! I got sick every morning because I wasnt used to getting up early. I also have fibro which affected my sleep alot. So, with that added, I wasnt getting any sleep. Thats a horrible thing. Luckily, when I started Lyrica for my fibro it helped me to be able to get some sleep. But, without it, I would have had a horrible time. Sometimes I still do.

I hope you get to the doctor though. there is no reason for you to suffer when you can be helped! I hope everything works out, and Im glad you are not going for the record! Also, I think you will feel better when you get sleep. I put myself on a schedule once and I was actually getting sleep (I was experimenting!) and after 2 weeks of a regular sleep pattern, I felt so much better!!! So, I hope you get to sleep soon! And hope you feel better! Take Care!

Hi froggy,

Thanks for letting us know. One night wont make up for the 11 or 12 that you missed but its a good start. I think you ought to see the doctor anyway and explain what happened so that it can be prevented from happening again.

Thanks for checking in.

Darren

Hey all,

Been feeling down ALL over again. I had a bit of a break from it, but now it's back with full force. I don't think that it's actually anything that is happening in my life, i just don't feel good at all. I don't know why, but i honestly haven't felt this down in a long while. It's so bad that I'm pretty much unable to do ANYTHING productive. I've been through something like this, but it feels so much more worse since this hasn't happened in so long. I want to tell people about what I'm trying to live through, and yet i don't. I hate myself for that... I know I've said this before, but i just can't seem to let myself to have any peace with all this that is going on.

Froggy

Froggy, I hope today goes well and you are able to talk to your counselor. I am already nervous about talking to mine later today, but I really want to and feel like I have too... You probably feel the same way... But, we CAN do this!! Dont hate yourself for something that you cant control. I have learned that the HARD way. Its ok that you cant talk about it now. I was the same way. Ask anyone on here...when I came here I wouldnt talk about anything. The people on here helped me be able to speak up for myself. They taught me that it takes time and patience. They encouraged me 24-7!!! I am going to help you. I cant do much seeing as I am here and you are there, but I enjoyed talking to you last night. It helped me alot to me able to talk about everything openly on the net...It helped me pull together what I wanted to say out loud. It helped me accept things and realize that it wasnt my fault.    

Please stop blaming yourself. Dont hate yourself, it makes things worse. You are you and there is nothing wrong with having a problem. This is something that can be helped. You can do it when the time is right. Hopefully today is the day. But, I hope you arent putting to much pressure on yourself about this, it does make things worse, as Im sure you know...

Im scared right now too, but I really want to tell her. I am just going to go, stare at the floor, and pretend I am in my room talking to myself... (I do that, it helps!) And then, I will tell her as much as possible. She will understand and be caring about it!

I wish you the best of luck!!! Dont be so hard on yourself...(easier said than done, I know) You will make it! Take Care!