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I FEEL SO HOPELESS....

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Posted 4/28/2008 9:49 PM (GMT 0)
I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH ON DEPRESSION FOR OVER A YEAR NOW. i HAVE LOOKED INTO OTHER OPTIONS TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION BESIDES BEING ON MEDICATION. tODAY I SPOKE WITH MY DOCTOR TO SEE IF HE FOUND ME A THERAPIST. hE SAID HE FOUND PRIVATE ONES BUT THEY WERE NOT ON MY INSURANCE. hE ASKED ME HOW I WAS AND I SAID  I FEEL FINE I AM JUST STILL NOT SLEEPING ON MY OWN. sO TO UPDATE BASICALLY IF I DONT TAKE A SLEEPING PILL I WILL ONLY GET 5 TO 6 HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT. WHICH IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME. BY THE THIRD OR FOURTH DAY I QUIT TAKING THE THE SLEEPING PILLS TO SEE IF I CAN SLEEP ON MY OWN. IT JUST DOESNT HAPPEN. I WAKE UP TIRED NOT WANTING TO GET OUT OF BED. FRUSTRATED AND ANNOYED. I HATE IT. WHEN I GET SLEEP IM FINE. SO MY DOCTOR SAID TO GO TO 40MG FOR A WEEK.

AND THAT JUST DID IT FOR ME. IM NOT GETTING BETTER. I WANT TO GET BETTER! I DONT WANT THIS. I HATE THIS about MYSELF. I KNOW I NEED TO GET BETTER AND I WILL TAKE MY MEDS THAT IS NOT A PROBLEM. I JUST HATE THAT IM NOT GETTING BETTER IM GETTING WORSE. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY DECIDED TO GET THESE DVDS THAT ARE CALLED LIFEFORCE YOGA. IT IS YOGA JUST FOR DEPRESSION. I KNOW I SHOULDNT GET IT BECAUSE OF OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION BUT IM OUT OF OPTIONS HERE AND I WANT TO GET BETTER. I DONT CARE IF I HAVE TO DO THE DVDS 3 TIMES A DAY TO FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. I AM DETERMINED TO GET BETTER JUST NOT HAPPY I AM NOT GETTING BETTER BUT JUST WORSE. I JUST FEEL LIKE HIDING AND GOING AWAY SO NOONE SEES ME LIKE THIS.

Posted 4/28/2008 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi want,

I know how you feel. I know it's frustrating, but usually those types of meds are those that take a while. You have to be diligent on taking it everyday for a while, otherwise, it won't work as well anymore. Atleast I think that is what hapeens. You seem to take your meds irregularly and that might be what is causing all of this stuff with sleeping. I don't know if that helped at all... sorry if it didn't

Froggy

Posted 4/28/2008 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
I think you should take the meds regularly to see if that helps some. Skipping them wont help any. I know how you feel. I have been there. All you want is to get better but it isnt happening and you blame yourself. Thats what I did. I feared everything getting worse, and it did. Thats because I didnt ask for help. I am glad you are talking to your doctor, thats a start. I hope you can find a therapist soon. I want you to feel better also! If you get the dvds, I hope they help. I havent tried anything like that so... but, I hope you find something that works for you. Let us know how you are doing.... take care
Posted 4/28/2008 10:32 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Want to be,

I hope that the dvds work for you.  Another thing that you should try is deep breathing and meditation.  That helps me sleep.

Please don't type in all capitals.  People think that you are shouting and it is hard to read.  Thank you. 

I really do hope that the yoga works for you.  My friend does it and she says that it is sooo relaxing.

Good luck,

hugs, Karen

Posted 4/29/2008 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
To anyone who is suffering from depression, there is hope.  I was suffering from severe depression.  I went to the doctor and he put me on Zoloft.  After a couple of weeks, it didn't seem to be working.  He switched me to Lexapro. I felt a difference almost immediately.  Sometimes you have to change a medication if it doesn't work for you.  It took 4 weeks, but it finally is working.  It was hell going through it, but at the end of 4 weeks, I feel completely normal.  During the 4 weeks I was waiting for the pills to work, the only thing that got me through was Lorazepam, a tranquilizer.  It kept me from getting anxious and

helped me sleep.  Once I felt better, I was able to stop taking it and did not get hooked on it.  Good luck to you and God bless you.

Posted 4/29/2008 10:46 AM (GMT 0)

 Welcome to HW 'papa' and 'want to be normal' - glad you both found us.

Good positive answer 'papa'...excellent - thanx - just what 'want to be normal' needed to read :-)

You have been given great advice 'want to be normal' plz keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

Maree

Posted 4/29/2008 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Papa,

In want to welcome you to Healing Well. You did give some very good advice. I am sure that it will help Want to be very much. Thank you. It is so very much appreciated.

I am sure that you will find Healing Well a very good place to visit. There are a bunch of wonderful people who really care about eachother. So post whenever you feel the need.

Thank you,
hugs, karen
Posted 4/29/2008 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Were you ever normal? I never was, even as a 5yr.old. I dream about normal. I try to act normal in important times, but my husband says I am a bad actress. I try to be like the people on TV (I don't have any fiends and my family is cross country,they are over-acheivers as well.) I can look normal and pretty, but I am not supposed to talk . ANd when I do talk I am always trying to keep it short. At the same time when I am upset for good reason, I can be a little over the top. Last week I wanted to get my daighter outof her old school. Kids werw picking on her. One girl pinched and Iwasn't told, the same girl scratched her enough to draw blood - still nothing. I wanted her at a new school next week. I also wanted her closed too home since I shouldn't driving. When they told me I couldn't do aything. I walked on the head director's office while he was eating lunch. I told him if he didn't decide to move - he can do that if wants for no reason in our district - I would hire a lawyer. I pointed out that I had a disability that made driving not always possible so I needed a walk to school, and that the public schools were allowing physical violence in elemetary schools causing mental problems. Money is not goal - bad pubilicity for school system and his job (which is voted for) would certainly be a big topic in our perfect nothing goes wrong city. People only argue over what type of speed bump to use. We are home to a variety a classes, but most are internet millionaires. School is very import to them. I guess he had no idea I was talking out of my *ss. For moment I felt normal. Then I couldn't figure out how to get home . I was in the middle of town and I drive through there sometimes, so I had to call my husnad to get home.

This is closeset I have gotten to normal. I think I was noramal in childbirth. A natural childbirth is so painful that depression gets put aside by all the pain.

I don't mind this normal thing. No one really cares.

quietpain

quietpain
Posted 4/30/2008 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
I bet it felt good telling that director where to get off at. I am proud of you quietpain. Keep up the good work.

hugs, Karen
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