My name is Rosa, I'm young--still in highschool, hah. That's pure honesty, though I'm not sure if I should have said so, because I don't wish to be seen as a volatile teen.
I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I have mad bouts of depression, followed by a frenzy of days where I do nothing but paint. I feel no need to build close bonds with any of the people at my school. I have intense insomnia. I sleep maybe two hours a night. My mother is an alcoholic, addicted to perscript
ion drugs, and mentally ill, but she refuses to seek help. I suppose that does get to me horribly. My father was abusive for many years but stopped about
when I turned thirteen. My older brother is the only person I've ever truly cared about
. I love him more then I love myself.
I love to paint, as I kind of mentioned. It's almost an impulse. Same goes for writing and playing music. I feel horribly broken and sick much of the time, except when I go into what I call "manic-impulse-crazy-zone" which involves painting hystericallyor listening to Hendrix at full volume shouting along to the lyrics. I never feel any intense emotion other than despair unless I'm in that trance.
This has all been going on since I was twelve, I suppose, of varying intensity.
Well..that was long and I'm sure alienating, haha. But yeah..that's why I'm here I guess...
-Rosa
Edit:
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/8/2008 8:28:00 AM (GMT-6)