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New Member Introduction... Part 1

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Posted 7/28/2008 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,
My name is Rachel and I'm 20 years old. I usually post on the A/P threads but I do deal with depression so I thought I'd pop on over here. A little about myself.
I have been married for three years (on Aug 26) and we have a beautiful two year old son. When I was 15 I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder and I have an undiagnosed eating disorder. I am currently on 40mg of Paxil a day, and 15mg Buspar twice a day. I take Unisom so I can sleep at night. Drink coffee in the am to make myself get going. I would say that I have dealt with anxiety since the age of 5 but it went undiagnosed for 10 years! So you could say I've been kinda messed up my whole life.
Anyway, some good stuff. I love to sing, do art, read, listen to all types of music. I love playing with my son and my husband. (We are a funny bunch) They are the lights of my life. I love going to church and singing in the choir. I work at Piggly Wiggly as a cashier and I clean houses on the side. So I'm a pretty busy person.
I love HW and it helps me so much. SO thats me in a nutshell. My two yearold is havin a meltdown so I must go now.
Rachel
Posted 7/31/2008 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
First post.

Hi. I'm 25 years old, live at home, and have been struggling with depression since i was 10 or 11. It has come and gone in waves, but in the last 6 months it has been very bad. I do see a therapist weekly, but i figured finding a forum with other people who are dealing with depression would be very helpful.
Posted 8/1/2008 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
I'm Pluck.

I'm 38, married for 4 years. Have been struggling with infertility and have endured years of failed medical treatments.

I feel like my life is over. Not sure where to turn.

I hope not everyone here feels as badly as I do.
Posted 8/1/2008 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi I'm new to this forum, but a regular on the Crohn's forum. I am 40 years old, married to a wonderful man and a Mom to 2 children; ages 16 and 12. I was a stay home Mom until my kids started school and I returned to the work as a Social Worker. I have struggled with Depression/Anxiety most of my adult life, well truthfully; for as long as I can remember. I have always had GI issues that I attributed to the Anxiety but after becoming very ill in 2003 and spending 8 days in the hospital, I was finally given the dx of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (Crohn's). However, I have been dx and undiagnoised several times, which has attributed to the anxiety and depression. I worked in the school system and loved my job, but my illness caused me to miss a lot of work, and eventually, I had to resign. I loved my job, the perfect schedule, finally doing what I felt I was called to do, but I couldn't do my job because I wasn't reliable. I felt physically and mentally defeated. I must say I have never recovered, I'm better, but not myself. WE live 400 miles from our families and have for 15 years (due to job transfers for my husband), and we have made some wonderful friends over the years, but I still miss my family very much.
I feel the depression an anxiety has worsened a bit over the past year and I'm trying to figue out how to deal with that. I apologize for the long post but just wanted to say Hi and thanks for sharing so much about yourselves, I at least fell less "alone" coming here.
Posted 8/2/2008 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pluck and Irish63,

And welcome to the forum. Feel free to post or start a thread, join in whenever you would like. I think that you will find there is a wonderful group of members here and will enjoy the forum.

Have a wonderful day
hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/3/2008 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. Im Abby and I have chronic major depression. I live in a body that has dissociative identity disorder, major depression, adhd, and an anxiety disorder. We have a counselor and a psychiatrist who we like working with. After many hospitilizations we seem to be stable and doing a bit better and staying on medications. The depression tends to sneak in though so I was just looking for a supportive place where I can just be myself and not have to hide anything about all our disorders.

I hope I can be of support to others too.

~abby
Posted 8/3/2008 6:36 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the introduction Abby,

You are so welcome to come here. We are a group of very understanding people. All of the members are kind and compassionate and will try to help you the best that they can.

I hope that you find this forum to be a comfortable place. I look forward to your posts and I am sure that you can give some good advice too.

hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/3/2008 12:50 PM (GMT 0)
Racheal
I did say I would read your post here so here I am
I think you have so many beautiful and GOOD things in your life as well
IT is great to have fun isnt it
Laughter is the best med IMHO
I am so sorry for all you have gone thru

LYN
Posted 8/4/2008 3:59 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning to all the newbies and the veterans too.

I am Kitt and I have been missing for a few days.......vacation :-) .

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  I am so happy to see so many new names.  We love new members joining our family.

Support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family, so welcome to your new family.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt
Posted 8/5/2008 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I've been lurking for a few days and have decided to come out of the woodwork. I am so happy I found this forum. I was diagnosed with severe depression in 2006 as I was going through the end of my marriage. My wife was sleeping with my best friend. I discovered this by walking in on them. She made no attempts to hide or stop the affair. For several months I attempted to salvage my marriage and this caused me to do stupid things that I now regret. With several months of help from a good therapist and support system I managed to return to my center.

I continued to get back my life until September 2007 when my aunt tried to harm her self on two occasions. . After the second attempt my depression returned and brought along it's friend moderate anxiety. I returned to therapy and started taking Zoloft.

I fight the good fight everyday now. Some days are good and some are not so good but I now understand that these feelings are temporary and not permanent. I have learned to give the "bad" feelings and days a beginning, a middle and an end. To ride the wave, so to speak.

I hope to share experiences with those in the group and hopefully touch someone.

One caveat. My belief system is strongly Behavioral. Nothing is inherently good or bad, but thinking it makes it so and it is not the event but our response and reaction to the event that determines our actions. All posts will come from this compass setting.

EP

Edit: I had to edit your post but the content is still intact. Thanks

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

We have members as young as 13 years old.

Thank you for your understanding

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/5/2008 4:23:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/5/2008 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Ep,

you are so insightful. I see that you have been through a lot. I am happy that you are doing better now. You have written some inspirational posts. I hope you continue to stay with us.

Have a wonderful day.

hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/5/2008 10:26 PM (GMT 0)

Welcome to HealingWell.  Thank you for your sharing and I am so sorry you are having problems but this is a good place to come and talk with the members who will support you.

Please continue to stick with us.

Respectfully

Kitt

Posted 8/7/2008 12:36 AM (GMT 0)

All Newbies, if you would just do a short intro it would be a nice way to get to say hello to you.............and welcome to our forum. :-)

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 8/7/2008 11:05 AM (GMT 0)

Hello,

I am doudi .. I am new here and I need some help.

I am recently diagnosed with depression "Post stress depression" ... I love a man who is depressed and most probably what's happening between us is what caused me depression.

Posted 8/7/2008 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Doudi,

Welcome to healingwell. You have definately come to a good place. We have a wonderful group of members here who are more than happy to share experiences and give advice.

If you would, could you start your own thread and let us know something about what you are going through? We would be more than happy to chime in and give you some advice if we can.

hugs,Karen...
Posted 8/7/2008 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All-

I like the idea of introducing yourself if you are new......and giving people a perspective of why you are here. My name is Jennifer I am 39 years old and the mother of two great boys 16 and 13. I am a systems administrator with our health system here in Wisconsin! I am married to a man that suffers from depression and right now it is in it's worst stage. He has suffered for the last 20 years or so, we have been married almost 7 and together 9. Unfortunately to date he refuses therapy, he finds drugs he wants to try and goes to his PCP and tells her what he wants to take. He has been on his current meds for a coupple of years now and is very good about taking them. He turned 40 in May and things have gone down hill rapidly since then. He doesn't talk to me, holes himself up in the bedroom, we don't go out or do anything anymore....very lonely existance for me. I feel like I have a room mate not a husband. I came here because I was looking for advice and support, my family does not understand and really I don't expect them to, you can't understand unless you've lived it. But man to have someone to talk to that understands has got to help. I look forward to chatting with others that have gone through similiar things and hearing how it all eneded up. Hopefully good:) I know however it ends up, he gets help and our marriage improves or I ask him to leave it will all be fine either way. Can't wait to meet some of you!

-Jenn
Posted 8/7/2008 2:06 PM (GMT 0)

Welcome doudihassan,

Thank you for the introduction.

You've come to the right place to find people that have a good idea of what you're going through. I look forward to seeing you around.
Please feel comfortable posting your own thread and telling us what is happening with you and I am sure you will get many replies from the members.

Again a warm welcome.

Kitt


 

Posted 8/8/2008 5:46 AM (GMT 0)
My name is Rosa, I'm young--still in highschool, hah. That's pure honesty, though I'm not sure if I should have said so, because I don't wish to be seen as a volatile teen.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I have mad bouts of depression, followed by a frenzy of days where I do nothing but paint. I feel no need to build close bonds with any of the people at my school. I have intense insomnia. I sleep maybe two hours a night. My mother is an alcoholic, addicted to perscription drugs, and mentally ill, but she refuses to seek help. I suppose that does get to me horribly. My father was abusive for many years but stopped about when I turned thirteen. My older brother is the only person I've ever truly cared about. I love him more then I love myself.


I love to paint, as I kind of mentioned. It's almost an impulse. Same goes for writing and playing music. I feel horribly broken and sick much of the time, except when I go into what I call "manic-impulse-crazy-zone" which involves  painting hystericallyor listening to Hendrix at full volume shouting along to the lyrics. I never feel any intense emotion other than despair unless I'm in that trance.

This has all been going on since I was twelve, I suppose, of varying intensity.

Well..that was long and I'm sure alienating, haha. But yeah..that's why I'm here I guess...
-Rosa

Edit:

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/8/2008 8:28:00 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/8/2008 1:02 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Karen,

Thank you for your suopport. I was drawn to your community when I read the post of lady who is going through of almost my situation.

I am 34, never been married before and met the love of my life almost a year ago. We started as friends as we share lots of common interests, hobbies and views of different things in life. Things went great between us and we become lovers, planning to get engaged this summer. He is a wondeful person, everything I ever wanted in a man. Three months ago he was diagnosed with depression and started on medication. Since he started that things got really worse. He lost his ability to communicate with friends first then with me. He kept disappearing for days and reappearing asking me to forgive him and be patient. But things got really worse, he started talking very negatively that he wont ever get healed. The doctor said his case was very resistant and started him on mood stabilizer injections. He lost interest in all the activities we shared. I tried to reassure him am not leaving him that I love so much and that will get through it together.

Till a month ago, after disappearing for more than two weeks I called him from a different number; as he stopped answering my calls. He was very confused and almost unable to face me saying I cannot continue in our relation; I am a very sick person and you deserve a better life& a better person.

I tried to talk him out but he was very stubborn about it and it killed me. I had a very bad trauma and was diagnosed with post stress depression and I started medication more than three weeks ago. I didn't stop sending him supportive messages, some small gifts like flowers or books. But he still insists on his position ... I know that he loves me but he is convinced he is useless person now. And I don't even know if he is still on medication or not.

I dunno what to do but I don't wanna leave him :-(

getting by said...
Hi Doudi,

Welcome to healingwell. You have definately come to a good place. We have a wonderful group of members here who are more than happy to share experiences and give advice.

If you would, could you start your own thread and let us know something about what you are going through? We would be more than happy to chime in and give you some advice if we can.

hugs,Karen...

Posted 8/8/2008 2:34 PM (GMT 0)

RosalieScream

thank you so much for your introduction.  I can see from your post why you are having difficulties.  I am so sorry about your parents and I am glad you have found this great site.

There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of Depression and still being able to be anonymous. I truly think you need to see a physician to get a diagnosis and perhaps get into some kind of therapy.

We are here as your peers and do not worry about your age, we believe in you and your need for help.  We are not professionals, however, and you truly need to find out what your problem is. 

Keep on posting to us and we will support you and listen to you.

Please review the forum rules, hun, as some topics are taboo thus my edit.  Thank you so much for your understanding.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 8/8/2008 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Doudihassan,

I am happy that my post made you feel better. Though you must remember to take care of yourself. You might want to seek counseling to see if they can help you handle the situation. It is so hard when your partner is depressed. And jumpiing in and out of your life. Once you have gotten a grip on your life you are more apt to help him. I hope things work out for you. Try to keep posting, we are here for you.

Feel free to discuss your post traumatic stress disorder. That could help you a lot. I hope that he seeks help and can be more supportive of you and himself. I can understand how hard this is for you. But you are suffering your own demons and you need to help you. Hopefully he will come around and try to help himself.

Best wishes to you,

I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/8/2008 5:51 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Karen,

My post stress depression was a result of him refusing my help and pushing me away from his life all of a sudden. You cannot imagine how that made me feel ... Like the wonderful caring person he is slipped off my fingers. That came with me having to leave my job and was in the middle of taking a very crucial choice in my career. I couldn't handle both things and my physical health sort of deteriorated too. The idea of losing him forever terrifies me. I still have the will to keep him ... He just stopped seeing how a good person he is. He only see himself as a sick person ... Maybe many circumstances wasn't in his favor ... Troubles at work ... his dad got cancer. So he kind of stopped seeing the bright side of life. And he got really bad after taking the medication. I am trying to help myself so I might be able to help him too. I read some self help books like: A new Earth, take medication and in very rare times am able to socialize with friends.

Love, Doudi
Posted 8/8/2008 6:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Doudi,

I read a lot of self help books too. They seem to help me so much. There is one called, healing the child within, that is very good too. It really changed my life. It might be healing the inner child. But it is something like that.

I know that it is so difficult for you right now. And it is hard to understand when somebody is backing away. Even if it is for what they think is a good reason. He seems to think that he is contaminating you with his depression. When reaching out is what he needs to do instead of backing away.

I am happy that you are looking after you. You need to be strong through this. All you can do is be there for him. The rest is up to him. He will heal, we all take different methods and amounts of time. So try to be patient, but just don't give up on you or blame yourself for anything. I think that the reading will get you through this. You can learn how to accept what he is going through and understand.

Best wishes for the most wonderful day. I hope that he comes around soon and gets on some different medication. There are so many antidepressants out there, there has to be something different that he can try. I imagine having a bad experience with one made him think that all are bad. But they are not, it is just that we all have different brain chemicals that need to be addressed. And different ones work with seratonin and dopamine. Maybe a mood stabilizer would work for him. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/10/2008 10:54 AM (GMT 0)
Dearest Karen,

Your support means a lot to me and your words really make a difference, as sometimes it's really hard to relate to people who wouldn't understand how you feel. Sometimes I feel so trapped within my mind ... I think the idea and its opposite in the same moment; my mind is really exhausted that it's really hard for me to focus in my work.
The most painful thing for me is his resistance ... I am not trying to call him or see him. I just send him supportive messages every few days and a small gift like a book, cd or flowers every couple of weeks. But he is absolutely silent ... Dunno am I doing right or wrong; am I pressuring him this way?
I just mean to be there for him without being pushy.

Thank You

Doudi
Posted 8/10/2008 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

A friend recommended I come here and it would maybe help me. I just can't cope with anything at the moment. I've had a rough 18months or so and this week has just knocked me out of the park. I feel like I just want to run away and not come back, but I'm too much of a coward to do that.
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