Hello
I have been in therapy for nearly 6 months. I was first diagnosed with depression and later Hypomania (above normal mood) I am avery personable and extroverted person. Hypomanic people are very difficult to diagnos.
I have had depression for over 16 years but the Hypomania and a "lack of insight" prevented any real help until a crisis [my wife leaving] me. I have had little luck in resolving issues in therapy on moving on from my estranged wife (she has no interest in reconcilation). In a very extrodinary emotional moment I had a good friend and roomate of mine remind me of what at the time I thought was a significant trauma, but a managable moment in my life.
The girl I was seeing (16 years ago) at the time left me with no explanation when i was visiting my parents out of state. When i got back, no girlfriend, no reason, just left. That moment was apparently a watershed moment. From that time on a very slow but now in hindsight the progression of my depression. Losing jobs, relationships, and much more over the years. That girl that I dated for over two years, 16 years ago, found me again 7 years ago, we dated for 5 years and married two years ago.
Diathesis is basicly a (in my case) a predisposition to depression. The "stress" was apparrantly this moment in time 16 years ago. My thearpist agrees that this was the "event" (I am astounded but I agree) and since this discovery my progress on my moving on with my life has been very good. Here is the issues I find extrodarinary if anyone could posibly have any thoughts please respond.
How could a significant but in the scope of many traumas in my life Could this be the trigger of my depression. I would not have pinpointed this moment without the help of my friend of many years, was this the "lack of insight" possibly clouding my recollection? Or was this more siginificant event and why may I may have blocked it out.
Why if we got back together, married, and had a fantastic 2 year old my depression did not get better? In fact my depression deepend! I understand that the diathesis stress model is a theory but in my case has a high probility of reality. I find it odd that stress that triggered 16 years by my girlfriend leaving and gathering depressive behavior may have very posibly caused my divorce 16 years later to the same woman that my have triggered it.
I do understand that anything from death/divorce/financial or any stress can make a diathesis type go into depression. These type people could be triggered by any external stress force. I am doing well and managing with the proper depression meds i do not need apparently for my hypomania any meds. I am progressing well (now) with moving on with my life.
Fiinally since my estranged wife has no interest in my condition or recovery so far would you bother to tell her this extrodinary story, I have trouble believing it myself! I am leaning toward not! I am feeling much better and may be better off.
thanks