Beginning that long spiral down again....

I'm new here so I'll try and sum up how I got to this point.....

I retired from the Navy July 2008 after 25 years of active service.  In 2002 I was diagnosed with panic attacks, anxiety and depression and was put on some medication to stable these "issues" out.  After a lot of trial and error I finally got on some meds that helped, at the time it was zoloft and wellbutrin.  Anyway, time goes by, meds are changed because my body adapted to the drugs and a change was needed, etc.  I was doing ok...

Now came retirement time.  I was stationed in Hawaii and, as you can imagine, it's almost impossible to survive there on civilian salary (for instance a gallon of milk is almost $8, etc).  So I began my job searching......

I ended up getting a job in Grand Forks, ND.  It's a good job and the people there are nice.  The community is also nice and it will be a great place for my wife and I to raise our kids (I have young kids 7, 5, and 2 years old).  I had to relocate here without my family because I own a house in Hawaii and my wife stayed behind until the house sells.

So...with the follwing stressors:

- Retiring from the Navy that paid well at the time.

- Trying to find a job

- Relocating to ND without my family

- Now financial issues because I still have a mortgage (an expensive one) and I have to support myself here at the same time.

- Now running out of meds.  It's been a couple weeks now but I'm seeing the Veteran's Administration next week.

- Being alone almost all the time

- Worrying about my family

etc, etc.....

Things are beginning to get a little unbearable.  Man...I've had a couple days when I thought I was going to have an emotional meltdown but the feeling came and went.  I've been getting to the gym as much as I can and also trying to be around people as much as possible but anyone with these issues knows that this only helps temporarily.

So I found this site and thought it would be good to talk about my issues some and maybe I can help others cope with what they aregoing through.  I know I'm not the only one feeling like this and I don't want to sound as if I'm "whining" but there comes a time when we all need to talk with someone or at least get these issues out and off of our chest.

So that's me....in summary and I just wanted to vent some in hopes that I can slear my head a little and maybe feel a bit better.

 

Thanks for the kind words Karen, I appreciate your concern and I also can appreciate what your son is going through.

Jeff

Thanks M.
I know it's not whining and I do understand the way I'm feeling is because of he added stress.
Also, the additional stress of trying to figure out what I have to do with the VA. Luckily though, the VA here is very helpful and I did talk with them about meds a couple days ago. So I think the appt this week will help a lot. I'm still new to the retirement thing and I want to make sure everything's documented in this initial physical and interview.

I'll drop you a line if I have any questions, thanks.

Take care,

Jeff

Hi Jeff, I just wanted you to know I read your post and am sorry for the problems you are going thru right now.  Can you get counseling help thru the VA?  It might help to have a therapist to talk to.  One of the things that causes us to feel down is having major changes in our lives.  And you are going thru some very big changes.  It is hard to be away from the family you love and are so used to being with.  I hope your house in Hawaii sells soon and your family can join you.  I think that will make a big difference.  You said you found a new job in ND.  Is anyone at work someone you can become friends with?  If so you could go out to dinner or a movie.  Do you play any sports?  Maybe there is a team you can join.  It is good you are going to the gym.  Exercise really helps a lot in relieving depression. One of the things I do when I am feeling down is I go to a book store and just browse thru all the shelves and look at all the displays.  I often find something to read for a while as most book stores now have comfy chairs to sit in.  I can spend hours there. I end up feeling better even though I am not with anyone there are still people around and that makes me feel like part of the world. Also, if you are so inclined, maybe joining a church in your area would help you to establish roots in your community.  They always have lots of activities and you can make new friends.  Just a few suggestions to give you as I have suffered very much from depresssion and I always welcome any ideas people can give me. Keep posting and letting us on the forum know how you are doing.  You will find a lot of emotional support here and very caring and understanding people.  We are all friends here and now you are part of the group.

Aurora

Just wanted to check in and see how things are going?

Hi Jeff, I'm sorry to hear about all your going through at this time. I know exactly what you mean when you say you felt like you were having an emotional meltdown. But it sounds like your doing all the right things so keep up the good work!

I'm new to this group also, I think it's great being able to vent to these guys.

OBTW, my oldest son is in the navy and I'm so proud of him! Right now he's stationed in Newport RI and will probably be sent to San Fransico next summer. He's a medic and wants to go with the marines to get some more training. Naturally I want him to stay in the states away from the marines who get sent anywhere and everywhere.

Anyways keep us posted on how things are going with you.....Jodes