Tears won't stop, how can I adjust to my pain

I talked with my sons and then called the vet today and the only day all 3 of us can go to the vet to have the dog put to sleep is Tues Sept 30.  My younger son doesn't really seem to understand the situation.  He thinks we should just wait and see what happens.  In the meantime, the dog is barely eating, I know he has some pain, can barely walk, is deaf, blind, incontinent both ways and I see no quality left in his life.  I have made this decision as I feel it is better to get it done than wait and see how much more he may suffer. I am so heartbroken but I am trying to be realistic and humane.  The vet thinks it is time also.  My son thinks I am doing it because I once mentioned that I thought the dog was aggravating my asthma.  Forget that I have had to go through countless lung and heart tests, x rays and cat scans to the tune of thousands of dollars.  I am not doing this because of the asthma.  He says what if the asthma is still bad when the dog is gone.  Well, that may happen, but I am doing this because the dog is suffering and this is the best solution to a horrible problem.  I spend my days with the dog - doesn't he think I feel terrible?  My older son agrees I am doing the right thing, but he lives with me so he sees what is going on.  And if we wait longer it will be closer to the holidays and then I am going to feel even worse.  I am in such pain and wanted to release these bad feelings.  I know so many of you have been in the same situation so you understand.  And I know I have posted about this before but now it is a reality and it just sucks.  I suppose letting all the tears out may help.  Sorry to be so wordy and repetitve but I just had to write all of this. 

Thank you Karen for your kind words.  i know I am doing the right thing.  I have had this dog for 16 yrs, 8 mos.  I have given him a good home, lots of love and attention - I can't think of how a dog could have had a better life.  It is time to let him go and I will.  My son will get over it.  It is just a very sad time.

Hi Aurora,

I'm sorry your dog is so sick. I agree that it's time to end his suffering; you are making the right decision.

*hugs*

Thanks all for your kind replies.  I have made the final decision and I am not going back on it.  I explained to my son that it will be worse for the dog as he could develop a crisis or be in pain and then I might have to rush him to the emergency vet where it is cold and sterile.  I think he finally gets it.  Both my sons and I will go to the vet next Tues. and let him go to his heaven.  I think it is fitting to allow a dog to pass on with dignity.  So I will probably be on next Tues night crying my eyes out but as has been said grief is the price you pay for love.

Aurora

Hi Aurora,
I'm new here. My heart goes out to you & your children. I've never been blessed to be able to have children, so my pets have always filled that void. Losing any os then through the years has been devastating. Only time can heal such a loss, but I have found it best to adopt another asap. A new one can never take the place of the one's we lose, but having another one to care for does help! Actually, I think God puts our furry devoted friends in our lives to care for us. I'm SO sorry for what you & the kids are going through! I lost a et year old Pomeranian, Chelsea, this past March. I tought I'd never stop crying & felt SO empty. I literally felt as though my heart would break! I now have another puppy, Bailey. He's 8 mo. old & has brought joy back into my life. I still miss Chelsea but Bailey has helped tremendously. My thoughts & prayers will be with you. It's okay to cry. This is a VERY hard choice to have to make, but I know you don't want your friend to suffer.
Willow

Hi Aurora,

Just wanted to remind you that we are here for you as you go through this difficult time.

Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen