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Paranoya

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Posted 10/28/2008 2:37 PM (GMT 0)

Lately my sister has been saying things out loud as if she is telling her friends and everyone she knows, the state that I am in at the moment because my depression is so bad. I will be watching TV and she will turn everything off if she leaves the room as if I am invisable, giving me snotty looks on the way out of the door. Or walking past me and whispering "At least I have a boyfriend and friends unlike you!". Or if she gets a text from a friend, she will say out aloud "how do you know her depression is so bad and she can't cope anymore?... Oh yeah... I told you as well!" (Everything being said away from the ear of my Dad obousily!) It drives me insaine and I can't cope with it anymore! Is she telling everyone because it makes her look like she can cope perfectly, or is she telling them because she is worried about me, or hasn't she told anyone and is just acting like this to make me paranoyed and worse? sad x

Posted 10/28/2008 3:24 PM (GMT 0)
Heej Princess,

There can be a hundred reason why your sister would act like this. It could be worry, jealousy, something to boost her own self-esteem, etc. The only way to find out is to ask her. I think a conversation with your sister would be a good thing to do. If she is worried, you can tell her that she isn't helping. Maybe she doesn't like you being depressed and can't cope with it herself, in which case you can help each other, or make deal and ignore each other. Anyway, you won't find unless you search, so sit down and have a chat. Maybe you could ask your father to join as well. Having a chat, even when there are no results, will make you feel better, for the simple fact you told it. Emotions might and probably will get out, it even happened with stubborn me. In the end, that only adds a certain debt to your venting, something that you won't find when posting online.

I hope you can have a good chat and figure things out. And Princess, if you want we can have a chat here as well, as there is a chat room.

All the best!
Erik
Posted 10/28/2008 3:59 PM (GMT 0)

Thats the thing with my sister and Dad... the only time my dad will sit down and have a chat with me is if something is worrying him about me... and my sister never speaks to me at all... I could ask her as many times as I like and I will just get laughed at in my face... my sister is the type of girl who doesn't talk to family what so ever... thats what her (boy)friend are for... she doesn't need to talk to my dad and I and even if I asked her to listen... she would just sit texting on her phone... that is why so many time I have just given up, cut my self (for 3 years after mum died), running away to find a way to kill myself... because I know for a fact that I can't cope with it any more!!!!! Not having a boyfriend, or friends to talk to... any just getting into arguments with my Dad anytime we DO talk... because I will go to say something and he will but in half way through (and vise versa) I just can't cope anymore! cry

Posted 10/28/2008 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
Ow.., I hope I haven't hurt you more with what I wrote...

I know what you are going through with not having anyone to say it to, I had the same. I always though a girlfriend would be the solution to all my problems, because that would be the one to tell everything to, and to receive comfort from. Boy, I was wrong. Of course, a partner would be great, but only because you will be sure that person wants the best for you. And that is something a lot more on this planet have. It took me a while to find them though, because I was still very cautious. But once I tried opening myself up to others by just throwing in the group that I was struggling with depression, I received so much love back, it was unbelievable. And if I can get it, there is no way you can't.
Maybe you haven't got close friends to talk to, but we are here online, and that also works. If you rather talk to someone, there are also members here willing to give you a call (at least, I am, or is this against the rules? :-) ).

Something rather different now, can you think of any things you always liked doing? If so, start doing them again if you quitted doing them. A hobby, something to take your mind off of the problems, can be such a great help. A lot of people of my age (I am also 18) are going out to town in the evenings etc. I never liked that very much, too anxious. Now that I discovered music I will just stay at home and play keyboard, or compose a song. And that social isolation worked in the opposite way. Rather than getting less friends, I got a whole bunch more, since I am finally beginning to act as myself.
My keyboard and music equipment is located under my bed, so I have a little music corner to return to when things turn too much to handle. My little place of peace, maybe you can create something similar.

I hope things will become better for you. And I will be in chat for the next hour or two, so feel free to join in if you have something to say :-).

Take care Princess!
Erik
Posted 10/28/2008 4:34 PM (GMT 0)

No... you weren't making it worse before and I would love to stay and chat but I kinda have a dentist appointment now to get a tooth removed shakehead   lol... and I can't always get online... my dad hates me being online all the time but I guess I can try whe I get back (better than talking and making my mouth sore tongue ) anyway... I will try and get on again tonight... I used to do swimming before mum got ill and died (93rd fastest in the country in about 2002 I think *ages 11 to 12 of course*) but I have been saying for years I want to go back... I guess this is a reason to do it! anyway... better go before dad starts again!

Oh... and thanks so much... I have noticed that on all of the topics I have started, you have always put something possitive in and put a smile on my face (its really aprechiated *however its spelt!  smilewinkgrin   thanks again x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Posted 10/30/2008 3:16 AM (GMT 0)
Can you find a suport group with kids your age?You could try at your churh if you have one.Or a distrect heath department.Also really try to get back into your swimming or something like that.I am sending you a bunch of ((((((((HUGS)))))))) and I will pray for you.
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