Juliaa,
I am so sorry to hear of the death of your sister. I have lost many loved ones, my Father, my Mother, my son ( age21), my godchild, my oldest Sister just one year ago and now my only sister has Ovarian Cancer.
There is no time limit on how long you grieve, all your life you will miss your sister but start trying to celebrate the good in her life.
She would not want you to be unhappy, she would want you to have a beautiful wedding and make wonderful new memories at the wedding.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .
When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.
I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.
Please do whatever it takes to get through the pain of loss. Remember 3 months is not very long.
Bless you
Kitt