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Posted 12/19/2008 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, I new on the depression forum; I'm usually on the bipolar board.  But right now I'm so far into a depression I thought maybe I could get someone to talk to me over here.  I've been yo-yoing with my meds for sometime now and have been on just about every ssri there is.  My pdoc has taken me off my mood stabilizer over the holidays (bad timing) because she wants to start me on another and doesn't want to be out of the office should a problem arise with a new med.  Has put me back on Cymbalta and at half the dose I use to take.  The holidays are a diffcult time for me as it is (live over 900 miles from my family) and my husband's family just doesn't understand the bp/depression cycle.  Drug myself to couseling today and made it through work; both were a chore.  I find absolutely no pleasure in anything, I'm really to the point that I'm tired of switching meds, tired of pdocs, counselors, free advice from my mom and bless my husband's heart he just doesn't know what to do with me anymore!  I just want to give up.  Have almost given up trying to talk to anyone here but thought I'd give it another shot tonight.
Posted 12/20/2008 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Yankeepeaches,

This is such a hard time of year. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I take a mood stablizer called abilify. What were you taking? It seems to be helping me, plus I take effexor 375mg each day. I think that is as high as you can go on that. But since the abilify, I have been feeling pretty good.

The holidays can be so stressful. I was getting anxious and moody until I got my shopping and wrapping done. Then I think about next year, we probably wont have the money to buy any gifts. So no matter what you are under some kind of pressure.

I think that you will like it here at the depression forum. There are a great group of members here. We try to add a little bit of off topic talk with a morning roll call. Something different to think about once in a while. So feel free to post where ever you feel like. It is sometimes slow on the weekends but perks up during the week. And on Tuesdays we have chat.

I hope that you are feeling better and have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/20/2008 5:00 PM (GMT 0)

Welcome to HealingWell. This is a great site. I look forward to getting to know you better. This is Kitt. :-)

I am sure you will find the members kind and caring and very supportive.

Please take some time and read through the threads on the site.  I know we have some on dealing with the holidays.

Every day members of HealingWell recover their Self-esteem, their self-worth, their dreams, their pride, their dignity and a meaningful life.

Posted 12/22/2008 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Just to give some background...I've been dx'd as depressed for over 11 years, been admitted to an outpaitent clinic after a break down and went through two weeks of therapy, at one time had a severe drinking problem (don't anymore), have been on just about every ssri there is for depression, recently have been dx'd as bipolar with mixed episodes, have had my meds changed (with mood stabilizers added and deleted) three times in less than four months, in-laws that don't understand the disease at all, my family lives over 900 miles away, do not have any friends, currently am in Christain counseling and have finally found a good pdoc. I've been on quite a rollercoaster recently and just haven't been able to to "pull myself up by the bootstraps" as some would like to think that I can.
Posted 12/22/2008 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
You have been through a lot and have made many accomplishments. I am happy to hear you have come so far.

I understand that there are a lot of people that just don't understand depression. And until they do, the totally misunderstand us. I used that word understand a lot. But they just don't get it.

You are doing good so just don't ever give up. I have been struggleing with depression for over thirty years, and am happy to say that I am finally doing good thanks to a mood stablizer called abilify. Have you ever tried that one? It works good with my present antidepressant effexor.

Keep up the good work. And to those who don't understand, take it with a grain of salt. They are just shallow.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/22/2008 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen,  I've already been on Effexor...didn't work for me.  So far I've been on Lamictal and Invega (mood stabilizers) and my old pdoc pulled me off Lamictal and put me on Invega, new pdoc pulled me off Invega (at my request--just wasn't seeing much in the positive result dept. the neg. was massive weight gain).  I don't know what she plans to put me on after the holidays; she didn't want to put me on anything new during the holidays while she was out of the office in case there would be a problem.  I did ask my mother-in-law to look-up bp on the internet and read about it, said that maybe she would better understand what I'm going through and that this isn't something that I can "help" and that I don't like being this way and that I'm trying the best that I know how.  Long story with my mother-in-law which I won't take up the time here to go into. 

Bridget

Posted 12/22/2008 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bridget,

I really like that name. I think it is so pretty.

It is just so hard when family members don't fully understand. And even when she reads, she still wont know completely. If she had suffered with depression herself, I think it would be a whlole different story.

It is a difficult time to change antidepressants. I am glad that she is waiting until after the holidays. That will be better for you. I hope that you can find something that will work well for you. There are so many out there now, which is good, that there is a lot to choose from.

We are so close to Christmas now. This month has gone by so fast. I know that makes all of us a little anxious. This year I will be able to stay hoome and relax, being we had our Christmas with the grand kids on Saturday.

I wish for you a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/22/2008 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hugs to you, miss peaches. You're doing great, all things considered.
Posted 12/22/2008 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,
Thank you about the name. My mother-in-law is a depressed woman (number of tradgies in her life) but absolutely refuses to take anything for it; insteads eats, cries, spends huge amounts of money and sleeps a lot. She will not seek help; so since she doesn't see it in herself (or if she does she thinks she's "strong" enough to cope without meds, couseling or pdocs) it's hard for her to to understand my situation.

This is a stressful time of year; especially being away from my family and son. I didn't even decorate this year, it just required too much effort on my part. I'm hoping with a new pdoc and new meds and continued counseling (and yes couseling in work) I'll continue to improve and that 2009 will prove to be a better year.

Thanks so much for chatting with me, it is greatly appreciated!!!
Bridget
Posted 12/22/2008 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bridget,

I think that you are completely right about your MIL. She could even be in denial. But it sounds like she is trying to toughen it out. She would probably be a lot happier if she were to seek counseling and maybe get on some medications.

I am glad that you can see it for what it is. You have a good head on your shoulders.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/23/2008 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
Well today the head might be ok don't know about tomorrow lol! Might be on the wobbly side!! Have a good evening.

Bridget
Posted 12/23/2008 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi bridget, I love your name also :) I would like to point out that most of these medications take upto 6 weeks or so to get the full benefit, so don't be too hasty to rule them out, I could be wrong in your case but I could not help be silent, you got to be patient I think. I hope things will improve for you over chrismas and best wishes for 2009 :)
Posted 12/24/2008 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Akram,
I was on the Lamictal from Sept to Nov and then the Invega from around the 10th of Nov until just this week and Tofranil the entire time. Now that I'm off all three and on the Cymbalta I have felt better already. I do realize that it takes time for the full effects of the meds to kick in (or get out of your system ). At first I thought the Invega was going to be a good thing but as time went by the side effects far out weighed the benefits; they were awful. Anyway I'm holding my own the past couple of days but know a mood stabilizer will be necessary. Thank you for the complement, response and best wishes.
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