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So what if I don't want to be saved?

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Posted 1/2/2009 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
Things are not going well right now, everyone tells me to call before I do something...not really sure I want to call anyone
Posted 1/2/2009 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

I can tell you want help or you would not be here. I am glad that you came here first. I am giving you some options by some numbers to call or sites to check out.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

I hope that this helps. Please stay in contact with us. Is there anything that you would like to talk about? We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/2/2009 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Thomas,

I'm sorry that things aren't going too well for you right now, I hope that you feel better soon, if you are feeling bad you should call someone, talking things thru might help even if u don't think it will, or even just talking about random things might help.
Posted 1/2/2009 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

I would like you to call for help also and I agree, if your talking to us you are looking for help.  We are here to listen.  Please post to us.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are worth much more.

Bless you,

Kitt

Posted 1/3/2009 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
I am so tired of working so hard to get better, only to fell like I fall back to the same old way of thinking that brings me down.
Today I just feel like it's too hard....I had 3 good weeks, excluding all the side effects from the meds. No libido, ED, trembling hands all day long, confusion
just to name a few, and then back down the hill I fall.
Posted 1/3/2009 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Thomas,

You're looking at it wrong - You had three good weeks! I can relate to your not wanting to be saved, living is hard. It just sucks sometimes.
I know you feel overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, restless, bored, etc. I do too. But I know people love and depend on me, so I just keep
trudging along and hoping that the next day, week, month will be better than the last one. Hang in there Thomas, if you just had 3 good weeks,
who knows, you may have another good run soon.


Best wishes,

Jean
Posted 1/3/2009 5:38 AM (GMT 0)
sadsoul,

My goodness, Jean's comment hit me right between the eyes. You had three good weeks! I need to start looking at the world that way...............


When your fears have the best of you, it is easy to feel that things will not get any better.

This is not true. There is much help available in today’s society and the best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them.

Instead of focusing on doom, stay in the moment. Give yourself breathing space. Consider what matters to you. Establish a few manageable goals, then take small steps toward achieving them. Don’t try to stop everything as once as you may be setting yourself up for failure.

Don't fight the depression but work at learning how to get through it.

Stick with us, we all have depression.

Kitt

Posted 1/3/2009 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
That makes sense. I guess I fall into old patterns quite quickly. I have been dealing with depression most of my life, Have tried over the years to get help without many good results. I have a great doc and therapist right now and looking at the big picture I guess I have made some good strides.
I will try 1 day at a time, staying in the moment....
Posted 1/3/2009 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you Thomas,

Life is so short and we need to try to be positive and enjoy every day. I am glad you are seeing things in a different light now. Just remember you are not alone, we are here for you.

Best wishes for a wonderful day,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/4/2009 3:28 AM (GMT 0)

Remember Thomas, the world is a better place because you live and serve within it.  Stick with us my friend.

Kitt

Posted 1/4/2009 5:34 AM (GMT 0)

I suffer chronic pain plus was suffering depression even before.  MY depression was already out of hand before I suffered an accident leaving me with chronic pain. Every night I pray I will have a heart attack or just pass away but I could never be so lucky, hows that for depession.  I take every day by day.  I promised to ring people also but I never would.  However I think you should exhaust all avenues, they can help, the help lines I have used them before, so make sure you do also but also rememeber just take it day by day. Try antidrepessant, they might help you althouogh they didnt with me.  I see a phychiastrist also.

So you really owe it to yourself and others to try first.

Posted 1/5/2009 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
I have been trying for years to get past all this depression and really trying hard because I ended up in the hospital for 3 days in July when I just lost it and could not even function. I guess I thought when I started on all these meds things would just be better right away. it's still a fight everyday, some days I win, some days the depression wins. I guess it takes time and the will to keep fighting...but as you all know, sometimes it just seems to hard to do.
my phychiastrist, therapist and wife made me promise to call one of them before I would try anything.
Posted 1/5/2009 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

Yes it does take time to get better, it can be a daily struggle for a while, but it is worth it. It sounds like you are doing better now and I hope that you continue to succeed with this.

Keep posting, stay with us, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/6/2009 4:38 AM (GMT 0)
Thomas,
I know how u feel. Ihave been living with depression for over six years. I was also diagnosed with tendonitus and fibromyalgia which added to my depression. I have also been a cutter for years and have recently gotten help. I have tried to commit suicide and have learned that its not the way. There are medications that can help. I am on lexapro and wellbutrin and they are working wonders. I can finally get out of bed and not cry that i'm still alive. I havent gone to therapy and it didnt work. What did help was talking to my best friends. They just listens and help me when they can. I dont know what I would do without them. Try medications and talking it out or write poetry to express your emotions. Dont take your life it will destroy those who love you and death is permanent. Life will get better promise. We are all here for you because we go through it every day. Don't give up!

~Lacramioara

Post Edited (Lacramioara) : 1/5/2009 9:44:32 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/6/2009 8:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

Have you seen the movie Batman Begins? The father of the young batman has a quote over there.

"Why do we fall? To get back up again."

I find that extremely comforting. Not only because it illustrates that our falling is only temporarily, but it makes you aware of the fact that there are good times as well. We aren't falling the entire time, though some of us are believing that. Sometimes a fall takes a little longer than normal, sometimes the ground is deeper, harder, colder, but we can always get back up and enjoy.

You say that some days you win, some days the depression. Aren't the days you win worth fighting the depression for again? Please keep up the fight, you will get better at it, you will learn your opponent and things will become easier.

Keep up Thomas, and all the very best!
Erik
Posted 1/6/2009 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
I want to thank everyone for trying to help. I have done some soul searching over the last few days and I feel everyone is right. I need to keep fighting to get better. I started on Lithium about 4 weeks ago because of all those SI thoughts, and maybe I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I just hate taking all the meds everyday
Wellbutrin 300mg day
Zoloft 150mg day
Lithium 600 mg day
my hands shake all the time, which I hate (from the lithium)
but I guess that is a small price to pay for still being alive
Posted 1/6/2009 7:18 PM (GMT 0)
You are right Thomas, it is a small price to pay. I have to take a lot of meds too. So much that it is a chore to fill my pillbox once a week. But if I don't I forget. And it was hard to accept that I have to take them for the rest of my life, but that is the case. So I take it one day at a time and go from there. Life isn't all that bad. I am glad that you are feeling better.

Hugs, Karen
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