feeling undeserving

Heej Cute,

You are worth exactly the same as every other human being on this planet, and I am dead serious. Does not having work make you any "less" human? There is nothing you can do that will make you be worth less than someone else, not even if you think you are only doing wrong all the time. Others don't see you as a failure of any kind, you are the only one who does that. Please realize that. You have a wonderful man, so enjoy that, maybe be grateful. If he thought you are "less" than others, he wouldn't marry you.

A good way to fill that hole in your chest is to built up some love and compassion for the world. At least, that helps me, a lot! Just simple things as helping an old lady to cross the road, or carry something for her, or even have a little chat. You will see people brighten up immediately. And even though it seems you are helping them, they are helping you too. So it is a win-win situation. If you don't like being with other people, you also could do some gardening, or helping animals. Just ask Karen, I believe she knows all about this!

A small note on the sex chats, as you say you participate in them out of boredom. Getting a hobby like the ones described above can help you to fill in the spare time. It might be worth trying.

And 2009 is indeed yet another year, see it as a new start! What happened before, happened before. What will come, that is where your focus must be with, because that is up to you fill in.

All the best Cute, and I hope you can find a big, loving smile soon!
Erik

Good Morning CuteNLost

You are a good person and I promise you other people have the same problems that you do so no beating yourself up. Are you seeing a therapist?

Here is a tidbit I found and want to post here for you and all of us............it sure has opened my eyes and I can see I have some work to do on my own.  Your in good company here.

Are You Compulsive or Addicted To The Net?

Using the Net is not a problem for Internet users who are on-line less than two hours a week. Heavy users are at risk when they are plugged more than 18 hours a week. There is no official diagnosis for an addiction to the Internet. The proposed disorder is called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). There is rather exact criteria proposed but it essentially easy to spot a problem. A compulsive and potentially addicted user is on-line more than 10 hours a day in non-work related activity. Answering the question "Am I addicted?" is based on four questions.

Do you feel better when you are on-line, chatting, or exploring the Net?

Are you or have you been spending more and more time on-line?

Are you on-line when you should being doing something else?

Have you tried to cut back and don't?

You probably have a compulsion if you feel a strong need to get on-line when you should be doing other things in your life. For instance, "Are you forgetting to eat?" Or, "Are you getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning to go to the bathroom and checking your e-mail before you go back to bed?" Checking e-mail at night when no one else is up and for no reason is a compulsion. You may even have early signs of addiction if you feel a need to be on the Internet more and more and feel worse when you stop.

I see myself in this scenario.................

I do hope you seek medical attention and please know we are here and we care.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 

Hi everyone,

 

Thank you for your responses.

 

I am not in thepy as stated in my prev post so lost.

 

I am on Ceprilex (sp?)

 

I have ghood days and bad days like everyone else.

 

I am very lucky to be with someone who loves me for who I am and the way I am. I have told him about my addiction to the chats. He says we will get through it together. He used to have a **** addiction and we got through it. So we will get through this as well.

 

My head is pounding today. I think it's because we are in for a chinook. ( I live very close to Calgary alberta canada) so the weather changes constantly.

 

I still have issues falling asleep at night. I don't want to keep complaining as I know there are many other people who are worse off than me. So I should be happy that I am alive and have a good family.. right? I am but somedays it takes so much to roll over and get out of bed.

CuteNLost sounds great that your honest with your hubby and working things toghether good work! everyone has good days and bad days so don't worry too much about it , when your having a bad day try think of something exciting to do, try to fight it by reading a book or getting out of the house maybe do some excersize like aerobics or simply walking. I have problems getting out of bed sometimes too so your not alone there :)