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Posted 1/15/2009 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
I am taking my meds everyday, the problem I seem to keep having is when they start me on another med I feel better for about 10 days or so then fall back into this very blah...mood which leads to the depression and SI thoughts coming back. This last time was the worst, I did hurt myself. not trying to SI but more to make sure if I decide to I can.
I am very frustrated with my progress 3 steps forward, 3 steps back
Posted 1/15/2009 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

I think that you should talk to the doctor about how you are feeling and be completely honest about it. I know sometimes we don't want to admit the way that we are feeling. But I think that it is important that he/she knows how this is effecting you. It might not be the right medication for you, or it might take time to actually get into your system. But either way, I am concerned about how you are feeling and thinking.

Let us know how things turn out and what your doctor says. Please do contact your doctor about this.

We care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/16/2009 1:41 AM (GMT 0)

Thomas, I am sorry you are feeling bad right now.  It is true that you may not be on the right meds.  Also, if you are on a/d meds they can take from 4-6 weeks to really kick in.  It took me about 5 different a/d meds before I found the right one.  And when I did I gave it the time needed to work and I have been fine.  But you really do need to speak with your dr. because you should not be having these thoughts and you should not be harming yourself.  And when the bad feelings pass you will wonder why you did something to hurt yourself.  Please talk to your dr. as soon as possible as it is important that this dr. knows what you are thinking and then he can either change or adjust your meds.  Please stay in touch with us.  There is always someone here to answer your posts.  I will always be glad to talk to you.  Take care and let us know how things are going.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 1/16/2009 8:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Thomas

Yes I feel that that happens with almost everyone. That's why after being on about every single antidepressant I am finally off of the medications. I feel a lot more alive but I do feel a little bit more sleepy and I feel physical pain more, but I think it's working for me, have you ever tried not taking antidepressants?
Posted 1/16/2009 8:34 AM (GMT 0)
Heej Thomas,

I can see what that can be very frustrating. Some meds don't work, others will. It seems that the meds you've tried so far doesn't work, so that is progress as well. You progress by limiting the meds that could work.
Thomas, you are always progressing when new things happen. Maybe you are back at start right now, but you've seen the road ahead, so it'll be easier to walk that. Maybe you could write down everything that is giving you even the slightest amount of joy. See them as items you need for the walk of life. Sometimes they can slow you down, but in the overall they will stimulate your progress.

And know that we are always here for you, so keep on using us! :-)

All the best!
Erik
Posted 1/16/2009 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
I have had depression for over 30 years and tried for a long time to get better without meds, that did not work. I ended up in the hospital in July after I had a breakdown, which was preceded by 3 months of drinking everyday to make all the hurt go away.
I have told my therapist about most of this stuff and was planning on telling my pdoc today, but they called and she is sick so I have to wait 2 more weeks to see her. I have not been telling my wife much as I don't want to upset her and make her worry. I was doing ok for a little bit, no bad thoughts, but now they seem to be back and it seems much more possible now. I grew up thinking everyone had these thoughts, never knew that it is not normal.
I don't want to think this way....it seems to just happen.
Posted 1/16/2009 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thomas,

You did have some good days though, That will come back. And the bad days will be less. Just hang in there during the hard times when depression shows it's ugly face. It will be less and less.

I hope that you get to see your doctor soon. I know it is frustrating when you can't see them when you need to.

Try to dismiss these thoughts. You know that you don't want to think that way so put up that mental stop sign and stop them in their tracks. I know that it is easier said than done. But you were feeling good and that will come back when you refuse to feel badly. Keep trying, you will get there and like I say, the bad days will be less and less. You are just going through that transition period.

Best wishes for a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/17/2009 5:10 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Thomas,

May I gently suggest you tell your wife how you are feeling. As a wife I would want my husband to let me know the thoughts and feelings he is having as we are a team, a couple, joined together in everything else. He has helped me through many tough times even if he is worried he is my rock.

Let her know and always know if you start to have the bad thoughts go to the ER, call 911 but access emergency help before acting on anything.  There is always help my friend.

My Pdoc informed me to let the scheduler know I would like to be called for cancellations when I have a long wait on my next appointment.  You may want to try that approach as many patients do cancel their appointments.

I have had depression for 26 years, I live the life you are living too. I am doing well right now and I am feeling the best I have felt in 3 years.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 1/17/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
thomas, I'm sorry to hear your are going through so much pain right now, we suffer a lot with depression, for me it's a fight on a daily basis, I have to keep pushing my self and pushing myself so I don't give up, medication doesn't seem to be helping me either , my doctor just added some new medication but I have to wait and give it a few weeks to see if it will kick in or not, it's not easy, I'v bin fighting this depression for over 9 years now, and from what I see I am not improving , yet. good luck to you though god help us get through this
Posted 1/20/2009 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
I talked to my therapist today and she was telling me my meds may need to be changed again. I see my pdoc next week, so I'll see what happens.
I am starting to hide in our bedroom again away from everybody. We own a business which I work, and I am having a hard time getting motivated to do anything, and that's just not me
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