Concerned for my friend

I'm hoping to get some feedback and suggestions here. A friend of mine has been on Wellbutrin (spelling?) for I don't even know how long. A year ago she was dx with a rare lymphoma, stage one thank goodness. She had chemo and has to have maintenance chemo every six months. Since the dx, she is fixated on "the chemo killed everything". That means she doesn't have to have a mammo or gyn or anything because anything that would have been there....the chemo killed. But the truth is that she doesn't take care of herself anyway. Hasn't had an exam in about 8 years. She stopped (on her own) her Wellbutrin months ago and then stopped her reflux med. Was complaining about having heartburn and having to take Tums. I suggested her going back on the med. "NO NO NO, I'm taking to much medicine". All that medicine is what makes you sick and gives you cancer according to her. OMG!!

She has no energy at all. She gets to work late every day and the 30 ft walk from the building to her car makes her winded. She sleeps most of the weekend away. Has no energy to do much of anything. On saturday she went around the yard to pick up dog doodoo and "had" to sleep most of the next day because "that" exhausted her. I asked if going back on the wellbutrin would help with her energy. "NO NO NO". She also has herself convinced (weeks in advanced sometimes) that she will "be in the bathroom" all night when at a get together.

I really think as far as that, that she makes herself have the Poo's. I mean this is a woman that will open a can a refried beans and it the whole can for dinner. EWWWWW  Yet, eating normal food with friends gives her the poo's. I just don't get it.

In addition to all that, she is irritable and edgy. But she does manage to laugh and enjoy herself when a group of us are together. I

I'm concerned because I care about her, but nothing seems to get through. She immediately goes on the defensive or has a horrible excuse when you suggest help. I'm ready to throw in the towel and just say that she's a big girl and has to make her own decisions. She'll have to live with it.

I guess what really bugs is I can't understand how and why anyone would want to feel like crap everyday of their life.

Sorry this post was so long. Thank you for listening.

Teresa

First, thank you for the kind words. The issue is that she is only dealing with her Oncologist. She doesn't even see a PCP. She just goes to Patient First if she gets ill. And that is only when her boss sends her home. The last two times she had bronchitis and starting phenomea (spelling?). She had told me four days prior that she would go to the doc, but she didn't until she was so ill and then of course had to miss a few days of work. All because she won't take care of herself.

I've talked to several friends about this. All of whom know my friend. We are starting to wonder if there is a mental health issue there (as you suggested) and or that she just likes the attention.

It's just so bothersome to me, but I do appreciate your words. She starts her maintenance chemo next month. Four treatments in four weeks. These treatments don't make her ill, only tired. She is exhausted now. How is she going to function after chemo??? :(

Teresa

maddyrules

Your friend has been through a lot and I understand her fears as I have watched my sister go through 6 months of chemo and major surgery.

It is no fun taking meds and feeling sick all the time.  As there are so many side effects from all the med she may just want to try going without meds.   All you can do is support her and when she feels she is ready she will agree to go back on the meds.

You are a good friend for caring about her but just being there is sometimes the best we can do.

Kitt