New Members - Post first post here, Part 3

Welcome New Members.  Here is where you have the chance to introduce yourself and share a bit about you. We love getting to know all of our members and you are important to us.

 

Please take the time to jot down a bit about you if you are comfortable, post only what you feel you want to share in this thread as a newbie.

 

This is Part 3................so you can see we have had lots of new members over the months.........feel comfortable.

 

Welcome to Our World.

 

Kitt

 

Link to Part 2:

 

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=1254158

Hello all.

I'm a 41 year old male living in Washington.  I've been married for nearly 19 years, have a 13 year old, and been clinicaly depressed and on medicine for over 10 years.  I have no friends, I have cut myself off from my family for the most part, and as you will see next, I have nearly destroyed the one good relationship I had.

Right now I am in a divorce/separation situation brought on in part by my depression symptoms, and my wife deciding that it was just too much to deal with it anymore.  Strangely, after the stress of this situation, my depression symptoms have disappeared. 

(The other part is that my wife was recently diagnosed as bipolar ... with all that entails.    What a fun house is was, one person constantly depressed, and the other one cycling back and forth.)

I'm not foolish enough to think this period of normalcy is permanent.   For the first time in years I am trying to get help beyond taking a pill.  This forum is a great first step.  I really appreciate the helpfulness and open hearts of the people who have been posting here.  Thank you everyone.

Theronson

Hi everyone,

I have been dealing with depression and chronic pain for years and yesterday was very bad. I usually have a bag of tricks to help but nothing worked. I found this site by accident. I wish that I had found it back in 1995. You see, that is when I was introduced to my constant partner now called depression. 

In 1993 at age 36 I was diagnosed with a severe hernation with significant spinal cord compression of C5C6. I had a wonderful surgeon and walked out of that hospital. But I was a heavy equipment mechanic with a wife and two young children and did not want to change. In spring 1995 I had to undergo a complete removal of the disk at L4L5. I was under an increduble amount of pressure to perform; at work and home. In fall 1995 I stopped eating for a week. My brain shut down and I was hospitalized for a week for major clinical depression. I was taking pain killers and antidepressants. By the summer of 1997 I was barely walking with a cane and my employer,(federal), was about to release me medically unfit with no benefits. I decided to retired on civil service diability. My wfe left in 2001 and convinced my children, teenagers at the time, that I was not a man or decent father because I could not give them want they wanted financially. I remarried in fall of 2005 to an understanding woman which helped me to get my medications under control. But living with someone with depression and chronic pain is very hard. Ater more surgeries, which removed the remainder fo my cervical disk and half of L3L4, now our relationship is strained to the point of her wanting something different. Although I can still 'keep the yard up' and repair anything that goes wrong, I still sit more than a man my age does. That is why I try to keep up appearances. If I am prescribed any new meds my wife looks them up and decides that I will have all the side effects and then tells me that she will not put up with that. So I don't look for any new meds and deal with my depression and lonelines in other ways. Which leads me back to this forum. From just the few post that I have read I feel that I have found a place with people that I can relate to and will listen to my concerns. Compasionate, caring people who have been where I have. Thank you for listening.

Thanks getting by. I have been trying to be more independent in my decisions about my health care. I have even considered getting my own place for awhile. But I made a commitment and have a hard time justifying leaving. I think with this forum and the people in it that I will find more tools to use to be more independent when it comes to my mental health. Thanks for caring.   Frankie

Welcome to all the new members this is a great forum a place were you can speak to people who can relate to what you are going through do keep posting and I look forward to getting to know you all.

cb83

Welcome and yes these boards are for family, friends and members who have depression.

We are glad you found us and hearing that you are concerned about your friend warms my heart.  So many turn their back on mental health issues as they do not understand them.

Please start a thread for yourself and post your issues and concerns, we will do our best to help you with good advice.

Again a Warm Welcome.

Kitt

Hi - my boyfriend (this is weird to call him my boyfriend, he actually ended our relationship 6 months ago) has depression. I have known him for over 30 yrs. He was my boyfriend when I was 14, again for a year or so when I was 20, and some nights together in our late twenties. We lived across the street from each other growing up and were always friends and close for all the years. He was two yrs. older than me, the same age as my step brother and a whole group of us were always together thru high school. We ended up married to different people, different lives, he used drugs heavily. We reconnected over a year ago and we were both very happy to be together. He has been clean and sober for 6 yrs and I am so proud of him for that. He did tell me some about the depression and had been on meds a couple times this past yr but ended up going off last April or May when he thought he was getting headaches from them. At that time he ended up on night shifts and his teenage daughter also moved back with her mom and he plummeted downhill fast. He was at my house for a month last Aug. for his job but he wasn't doing well at all in my opinion. Soon after he got home he called and ended our relationship. A couple months ago he moved back to this area. Since our break up I have sent e-mails, texts, gave him a housewarming gift via his sister, and got really brave and dropped some brownies off for him last week but only stayed for like 3 minutes because I figured it would be pretty stressful for him. He did give me a nice hug when I was leaving. As far as communicating though all this time, he did send me a text last Sept. that said "yes, I get your messages" but that has been it. I want to support him because he has been special to me for a very long time, even if we do have to end up just being friends again. I really dont know the best way to show support though without making things worse for him.

Hi Thisbites,

I agree with Kitt, the ball is in his court now. But just because he isn't reaching out right now, doesn't mean that he doesn't appreciate you being there. When I get depressed, I tend to withdraw from people. But that doen't mean I don't care, I do, I just don't have the energy or desire to interact. So I stay to myself. Maybe that is what he is doing right now.

Like Kitt said, just be there to support him when he needs you. I don't mean put your life on hold for him either, I don't think he would want you to do that. And you have to take care of yourself first.

Keep posting, as we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen

bump up for newer members, please post a little about yourself if you would like to.

Hugs, Karen

CJ: You sound like a really strong person, to come through all that you have and share your motivation with us to get your life back. I hope that your doctor will continue to monitor your symptoms and help you in the best way possible. I wish you good health and healing.

I've met some of you but not all, and I'd like to welcome you to the forums! I love to talk to everyone here and put my two cents in on a lot of posts.

You'll find this website is very helpful and the people are fantastic.

Don't be too shy to post individual posts so we can all give you some love and attention if you are having a crisis or just a bad day.

I am sorry that you're having problems but I am thrilled you are here.

Can't wait to spend some time together!

Hey all, ive not been on here in a while, but pretty much i think im on the improve now, last nov/dec i was in hos for about 4-5weeks, i got out just after xmas, ive been sleeping alot better without using any sleeping pills which has made me feel alot better, i see a psychologist every 2weeks which is helping, i still suffer abit at night from anxiety which is stopping me from going out with friends but i guess it will just take time to get over. But i do have some goals for the year which are, get a decent job, start playing rugby again, and go out more with friends, get fit again, and also try get off all medz im taking, these are pretty important to me and i think i can do them all. I hope everyone else is fighting hard to get over there problems because in the end it will be worth it.

Cheers Peter.

Hello Peter and Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. We are glad to meet you and look forward to getting to know you better.

I am glad you have realistic goals and that you are now able to sleep without sleeping pills.

Do stay with us and know we care.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt