I am 41 y/o and thought I would tell my story and get some feed back.
My mom was married to a man named Richard but they got separated and while they were separated she became pregnant. When I was born in 1968 she put Richard on my birth certificate and told me that was my real dad. She remarried when I was 2 and that Dad name Frank raised and provided for me very well. He treated me as his own and is the best man i have ever met. When I was 16 I started looking for my real dad and actually had phone conversation with him. I didn't contact him again until I was 21 and that is when he told me he wasn't my real dad and there was another man my mom slept with. Luckily I was seeing a counselor at the time who told me to keep a diary and I did. I wrote down everything Richard told me about who he thought was my real dad but I neve persued it because I thought my mom wouldn't lie to me about something like that and especially seeing me cry everytime Richard rejected me.
When I 38 and recently divorced I was going out a lot and met a girl that was recently divorced too and lived in the same town I grew up in and worked in. We became best friend and inseparable. Her family kept asking her to bring me over so they could meet me but we never thought anything about it. Everyone would asked if we were sister and we would laugh. We became friends in October and in February her mother tells her that her bestfriend is her sister (me). Her dad is my real dad. I asked her all the questions that Richard had told me about him years before and it was him. I met the whole family the next day. I waited a week to confront my mom and she went balistic on me. It seems Bill (the real dad) walked out on her when she was pregnant. There was a lot of drug abuse in the family. The good part is I understand what my mom protected me from and I'm not mad at her but I am angry at her for her behavior now. She decided she doesn't like my bestfriend/sister and is very rude to her. We all live in the same town and I have to make sure my real dad isn't where my mom is at any time because she makes a scene and is very mean. She doesn't want him to have anything to do with my children. He is clean from drugs now and has been for a very long time. She seems to put all the guilt on me and I didn't create this problem they did 41 year ago and has left me to deal with it.
My sister and my neices mean the world to me and we are very close. I would like my mom to be apart of that with me. Maybe I'm asking too much but I would like her to respect my sister and not talk about her and be rude to her. She says she can't stand to hear me mention her name and she is a big part of my life. I am bonded to my sister. I don't see my dad that often but we do text every other day just to say I love you. He has given me and my kids money.
I don't feel any different about the dad that raised me. In fact he means more to me than anyone but my mom acts like I'm hurting him by having a relationship with my dad's family. I feel like this her and my dad problems and they created this. I have done nothing wrong. We are fighting now and she said a lot of ulgy things about my sister again and how much he hates my dad. I don't know how to handle this. I'm mad at mom now because she won't let it go. She's been caught at her lie and wants to blame me because I have relationship with him. I think she is cruel for the things she says about my sister and it hurts me. She now wants a DNA when there is no doubt he is my dad. I feel they should have done that a long time ago. It's not my place now. i wish mom would just get counseling but she doesn't think she is wrong.
What would you do? I'm not talking to mom but only if I have to. She has hurt me lately with her words and action that I just need a break. Today is her birthday which I did call her and send her flowers but I didn't go see her because I don't want to go fake my feelings any longer. I'm tired.