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Posted 6/16/2009 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
I had a big blowout with my therapist a couple of weeks ago and didn't go back. Now I miss her and I'm feeling really depressed and wondering why i didn't just work it out, there are boundary issues on both sides, so I guess it's not the best place for me, but I really liked her and I really feel so sad about losing her. I am not thinking good thoughts today about myself at all. I think I might just be a bad person after all.
Posted 6/16/2009 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pastoram, You're not a bad person....please don't say that! I'm sorry things didn't work out with your therapist, but you did mention that there were some boundary issues in that situation, so perhaps there is someone better for you out there. I would strongly encourage you to look for another therapist....it took me a few tries to find the right one, and I'm really happy with the one I settled on. She has helped me a lot!
Posted 6/16/2009 11:44 PM (GMT 0)

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON!

Everyone has falling outs.when two people spend a lot of time together,there are bound to be miscommunications and mishaps.remember that it takes two to argue.you were not the only one in that blow out.don't blame it on yourself and don't be so hard on yourself.think good thoughts.

good luck.

Posted 6/17/2009 6:43 AM (GMT 0)
hey pastoram,

i realized after 4 and a half yrs of the same, fantastic shrink, that our relationship had become stale, not true, i was just ready to move on. and i did. i wanted to keep receiving, but my shrink told me that he was all out, and yep he was. a great man who has retired. i saw him, not a consult, about a yr after terminating my sessions i found out that he was retiring, i said well why haven't you, his reply, got a few still hanging on. i wished him luck and eternal thx. good luck with your search. be kind to yourself to. jamie

Posted 6/17/2009 10:09 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, everybody, (Hi Jamie!) I did find someone already, someone I used to see who has really good boundaries, I'm having a hard time not calling or writing to the old therapist because I miss her so much and feel like it ended on a bad note. I probably shouldn't do any of that, but it's hard. I woke up this morning with an outbreak of shingles on my face (I just recovered from one a month ago) so I guess I'm going to just lay low. It's been a really hard couple of weeks, though.

Posted 6/17/2009 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
thx 4 the reply, good to see you posting, gee a hard run, esp with recurrent shingles. probably best not to contact old therapist for a bit. exellent that u have found another great one. good for you. get well, mind, body and soul my friend. always here for ya. jamie. rest for now. take care of you. jamie.
Posted 6/17/2009 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pastoram, I'm really glad you have another therapist to see. I'd give it a bit of time before writing the other therapist.....and if you decide to write a letter of closure or something along those lines, then IMO I think it would be okay. I know you miss her, but it sounds like you've made the right decision. I really hope the shingles get better soon......I know how painful it can be. Please hang in there, and keep posting to us as you feel up to it. Best wishes to you!
Posted 6/17/2009 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Pastoram,

I am sorry you had a blow up with your therapist and I understand how you must be feeling.  I feel you may be going through some grief at losing your relationship with this therapist. Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss.  Let yourself feel sad but keep in mind that you are not a bad person and eventually a letter may be a good idea as Raniah suggested.  Now is probably to soon for you to try to write the letter.

 

I am glad you have connected with a new therapist.  You are taking positive steps and that is awesome.

 

Shingles, ouch !  Please do rest and take care of you.

We are here for you so you are not alone.

 

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 6/17/2009 4:20 PM (GMT 0)

Pastoram, I am glad you found a new therapist.  I would ask the new one what the rules are for contacting the old therapist since you feel you need to say something.  I would take the new therapist's advice on this, hope it works out for the best.  You mentioned you have had a 2nd outbreak of shingles.  Did you know there is a vaccine to prevent shingles - it isn't 100% for sure you can't get it but if you get the vaccine and get shingles it will be very mild.  Most people who get the vaccine don't get it. Many clinics and many drugstores offer this vaccine.  As far as I know most insurance plans do not cover the cost and it is expensive - about $220 but it is worth it not to have to suffer the pain associated with an outbreak.  My dr. told me I really should get this vaccine so I am going to do it because my Mom had shingles and she was miserable for about 6 months.  I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.

Aurora

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