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Posted 6/22/2009 4:21 AM (GMT 0)

I am new to the forum and not quite sure why I am here, but I am feeling very lost right now.

I am 37 years old, divorced mom of two that "appears" to have it together, but deep down I feel a complete mess.  My parents have passed away.  My sister is out-of-state and half way across the country from me.  I have few friends.  I stay in on my weekends off from the kids pretending to be busy.  I hate my job.  The economy sucks.  I feel my sister could care less.  The kids are good, but I just feel like I am going through the motions of living and not enjoying anything.  Today was hard because of Father's Day and missing him.  Six months ago I had tried dating a co-worker and everything went wrong and I have extreme anietxy going into work everyday.  We recently started talking again and now he has turned cold again and non-responsive.  I don't know what I said...I know he thinks I am a nut job.  I feel on eggshells to go into work tomorrow.  I am starting to think socially I am a dork, which is probably why my husband dumped me.  I have such low esteem.  I have trouble taking care of household stuff...I keep telling myself I am just reorganizing from the split, but it is overwhelming me.  My kids don't seem to notice which is a good thing.  I am just in tears tonight over the lack of someone to talk.  I have never been diagnosed with depression and I am not on any medications.  I am thinking this is just all due to life events in the last 2 years.  I don't know...I am lost.

Posted 6/22/2009 5:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hey there,
Im sorry your feeling like this. Its hard when you dont know what to do or who to turn to. I used to appear as if i was all together too, but it didint last for me.
If things are overwhelming you i suggest that you should consider talking with a psychologist, talk to your doctor first, its hard to admit you may need help , but you cannot suffer either. You my dear are most definatley not alone, its good that you have decided to become a member of this forum, im new on here too and have found it very comforting knowing there is always someone here that will listen and advise you.
I know what you mean about self esteem, mine is non existant, always has been for me sense i was young.Im not close with my sister either. She doesnt communicate with me much. I would like to be closer with her, but that wont happen.
Life can be tough for sure, i give you a big hug, and hope you consider to talk with someone XOXO
Posted 6/22/2009 9:07 AM (GMT 0)
hi lost again. i am jamie, male 37. welcome to the forum.

sorry for the situation. have ever heard the saying that sometimes you need to get lost to be found. life is up and down, some more down, sometimes a tad up. recognising the internal sadness shows excellent insight my friend. time to talk to some professionals. all the best, thx 4 your courage in posting, an excellent first step! look after you. healings, jamie

dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Posted 6/22/2009 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi LostAgain, I’m sorry for your pain and sadness. I hope that coming here to the forum will be a welcome relief and a good source of support for you. We all understand what it’s like to feel the weight of depression, and having people to talk to is a really helpful thing. I don’t know if you’re open to the idea of counseling, but I will tell you from a personal standpoint that it has been a lifesaver for me. Perhaps you would consider talking to your doctor, and seeing if he/she could recommend someone to you. Divorce is really hard….I’ve been through it very recently myself….and I know that my self-esteem really took a beating through all of it. One thing I would like to suggest to you is some positive self-talk…..it makes me sad to see you speak in a self-defeating way, and you deserve to have lots of love and support right now, especially from yourself. You sound like a really intelligent, caring person, and I’m sure you have a wealth of wonderful qualities that we have yet to discover. Please come back and post with us some more as you feel up to it. The members here are compassionate people who are great with words of advice and support. Take good care of yourself, and let us know how things go.
Posted 6/22/2009 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi LostAgain,

I just wanted to pop in and welcome you to the forum. You have come to a wonderful place. Everybody here is so kind and compassionate. And they understand where you are coming from.

I too would like to suggest counseling. I go and it really does help. Though I take medications for depression also.

I hope that you find coming here helps you. We are all thinking of you and we all care about you.

I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/23/2009 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,
Thank you for the responses! I have not decided to any counseling yet...I am on the go ALL the time!!!! I don't even know how I could schedule it in without missing work or missing a kid pick up or something. I will consider it if I can't get out of this rut. Day by day by day is my focus. I took the initiate to call up a friend today that we supported each other through our divorces last year. Me and the kids get together with her and her kids every couple of months and it has been a while since we hung out. We made some plans for this upcoming weekend. I tell ya, it is so up and down for me sometimes. I am thankful it is summer though...

Hopefully I can contribute and help others too. Thanks for being here:)

Mo
Posted 6/23/2009 8:15 AM (GMT 0)
hi lost again, good to see that you are engaging in support, and getting out to keep focus. when the time is right u will know what to do. keep strong. jamie.
Posted 6/23/2009 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lost, I'm glad you're going to see your friend this weekend!  That's really good.  I know you don't have time to make it to appointments for counseling, but maybe you would be interested in the online cognitive behaviour al therapy program that some of the members here use: it's called The Mood Gym, and it's free of charge. http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
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