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Posted 6/29/2009 1:25 PM (GMT 0)
hi guys, really dejected, discriminated, de-personalised, mocked, harrassed, hurt and sad. why do people treat some people with such distain, with such hatred. i called my mum, she has been trying to call me...ph has been permanetly of the hook, re: harrassement by u know who. i do not know, strange but i do not give a crap at the moment. suppose i will just keep cleaning? extremely depressed, extremely tired, extremely hurt and............well tomorrow is another day. thx 4 listening, me. my name.....has been defiled. this hurts very much.
Posted 6/29/2009 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
You are right Jamie, tomorrow is another day. But it is today that we got to get through. I know how you feel. People can be so cruel. Just keep reminding yourself that you are a wonderful person. And this person that is tryint to make you feel bad, isn't worth the thought. But I know that is easier said than done. Know that we think you are a wonderful person. You don't deserve what you are going through. There are some very ignorant people in this world. I am dealing with one at work. She makes me miserable. But no more, I am going to stand up to her when I work with her next. I hope. I am not very good at that. But it is time that I stick up for myself. If I don't my job will be miserable.

Keep trying Jamie. and remember that we are all here for you.

(((((HUGS))))), Karen
Posted 6/29/2009 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jamie, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. You don’t deserve this, and I wish I could do something to help. Karen is right….you are a wonderful person, and such a light in our world here at the forum. I always look forward to your posts, and you bring so much to so many when you come here. You’ve been through a lot lately, especially in this situation with your female friend. You have to focus on what is best for you now, and take very good care of yourself. You deserve that TLC. (((((((big hugs))))))) Raniah
Posted 6/29/2009 5:30 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Jamie,

There is no reason for you to worry  over your soundness of character, your popularity or your future.  You are one awesome person and what these people are saying is not going to stop your friends and family from loving you for exactly who you are.

I know when we are sensitive it hurts but please remember life is too short to worry about what one person thinks. In your case what these few  nasty people from your "lady's family" think does not define who you are. 

There is too much work to be done, too many good deeds to perform, people to love, experiences to savor. The unpleasantness has claimed enough of your life as it is. Time to right the imbalance by getting out there and setting up some wonderful experiences for yourself!

I believe in you Jamie so know I am here for you and many warm hugs coming your way.

I wish you peace and happiness.

Kitt


Posted 6/30/2009 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
Jamie,

I know just how you feel. Some people are very cruel...for different reasons. I have had my share of moments when people harass me or discriminate against me. Its a horrible feeling, I know. It makes me feel like nothing. But, ya know, those people are insecure in themselves. They pick on others because they arent confident in themselves. You are an amazing person and you shouldnt listen to what anyone says about you.

I've learned that when people say bad things to me that I ignore them. Or if Im in a good mood... I stand up against them and make my case. I dont let them get to me because it isnt even about me.. its them. When they see that I am confident and that they arent going to hurt me with there words, they usually back off. lol... but I usually ignore them and tell myself that I am an amazing person and I dont deserve to be treated that way. I feel sorry for those people because I wouldnt want to be that kind of person, ever.

Remember, you are a very special person and no one has the right to make you feel any less of yourself. Some people are just ignorant and unsatisfied with there own lives that they have to stomp on others as well... but you are better than that! You are a strong person and dont let anyone tell you any different!

Tomorrow is a new day... make it what you will... but don't waste it!
Posted 6/30/2009 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
thx tennis, kitt, karen, raniah. i have dropped it like a hot spud. my worry is what i have gone thru, what must my former gf being subjected too, continually? i have tried to increase her independence of herself, her self efficacy and her abilties to live one day without her family. it is not going to change. change the things you can. anyway i think i have shown her that men can be compassionate, likewise she has taught me that regardless of ability you can still love and smile. it is wonderful that we have had a wonderful learning experience, and one day i am sure people of various abilities will be recognised as having the ability to be in and sustain meaningful relationships. i am more sad for her. thx 4 the luv and hugs. i am sad too, esp as i have to inform her that it is no more. jamie

cry blush
Posted 6/30/2009 6:17 AM (GMT 0)

DEAR JAMIE

IVE BEEN EXTREMELY DEPRESSED FOR 1 AND A HALF YEARS NOW SO I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WE HAVE TO REMEMBER WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE AND WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS.  GOD WILL HELP US PRAY TO HIM EVERYDAY AND LISTEN.

BELLA23

Posted 6/30/2009 7:13 AM (GMT 0)
thx bella. i too pray for you. i replied to your other post too. i hope you too feel much better too. feel better for the luv received by you all. so THANKS GUYS. jamie
Posted 6/30/2009 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Jamie, You are a man with a wise mind and a loving heart. What you said is so true.......you change the things that you can. Some things are just out of our control, and we have to accept that. You have given this woman a real gift by showing her that men can be loving and compassionate. Not every woman has that experience in her life, so you should feel proud of yourself and the way that you are. ((((hugs))))
Posted 6/30/2009 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
Jamie,

Know that we are all here thinking about you and praying for you. I know what you have to do is tough right now. But I think once it is over, you will feel better about it. Hopefully she will come around and see things for what they really are. It sounds like her family has her brainwashed. Poor girl. I hope that she sees the light.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/1/2009 9:26 AM (GMT 0)
thx raniah and karen and all.

well she came around at noon, i read the notes to her. yeah one was from her from someone from her agency i guess, not signed. i said i do not mean to dis your family but i can no longer stand the venomous hatred from her family and others. i said what do you want, she shrugged her shoulders, i don't jnow she replied. for my distress she recommended i get away. i said am i suppost to stick my head in the sand, another shrug. she is beyond brain washed and beyond just controlled, poor thing.

will let her down gently fri. thx 4 your support guys. she was too distressed today, and i do NOT want her family and or others giving me a hard time for overwhelming her. she knows that it is going bad, really it has to do with me being a man, and it wouldn't matter what kind of man comes her way, it will all happen again unless she fights for her rights and stands up to her family.

take care, thx 4 listening. jamie.

Posted 7/2/2009 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jamie, That's so sad. I know you are doing your best in this situation, and you have to take good care of yourself and your own health, no matter what happens. I feel bady for your girlfriend, but you are right...it is up to her to stand up for her rights. Hang in there, and remember we are all here supporting you. (((hugs)))
Posted 7/2/2009 7:47 AM (GMT 0)
thx all you beautiful people. i am touched. appreciate your kindness and support. jamie.
Posted 7/2/2009 3:40 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Jamie,

I am so sorry for your sadness and also for your gf who is under the influence of her family and not at free will to make decisions for herself. 

After breaking up with someone you loved you will feel  a sense of loss for the hopes and dreams you had.  All these feelings have to work themselves out of your system. It's a process you must go through, similar to grieving or getting over an addiction.

I know there are always so many things you still want to say to your ex. Write a letter that says them all and then don't send it. Put it away. Just writing it will make you feel better. You'll be relieved of carrying around the thoughts in your mind and free yourself for new and better things.

You know that we all care deeply for you here, Jamie, and that you are in our hearts and in our prayers.

Anyone who knows the real Jamie is a very fortunate person................you are amazing.

Prayerfully,
Kitt
Posted 7/2/2009 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jamie,

Sometimes it takes people years to get over being 'brainwashed' by their family. They have a huge process to go through. They have to find their own self and be an individual before they can break free and be their own person. It can be a difficult process. You have been very patient.

I am sure that you will stil be there for her even after you end the relationship. And I know that you will be kind to her when you break it off. You are a good man.

Take care of you now. Know that you did the best that you could wieh the circumstances being as may. You went above and beyond.

Know that we are all here for you.

HUgs, Karen
Posted 7/2/2009 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
Jaimie, I was just reading this whole thing and I have to say WOW, you are a truly amazing man! To be in such a sad situation and still have so much compassion towards this girl! My heart goes out to both of you, obviously for different reasons. I think your feelings for her run deeper than you let on. I hope for her sake that someday she can pull away from this whole brainwashing thing with her family. I also hope for both your sakes that it's sooner than later. May peace of mind find you both.

Tina
Posted 7/3/2009 5:37 AM (GMT 0)
thx tina, kitt, karen, raniah. i will be ok. appreciate all the kindness. with thx, jamie
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