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Posted 7/7/2009 9:48 AM (GMT 0)
The past couple of months my depression has gotten worse and worse. I had been discharged from my psychiatrist but went back to see her a couple of weeks ago because of this. I saw her last week and she decided not to put me back on anti-depressants (I have been 28 different medications over the past 8 years) because 1) we couldn't agree on which one and 2) she's not sure it would help me. She talked about respite bed, intensive out-patient and inpatient,, none of which sound like good ideas to me. She's on vacation this week, I have two appointments with the therapist and one with the nutritionist (who is usually more helpful than my therapist) but I'm feeling like I don't know what's going to change really and not sure what to do. I have such a hard time making decisions when I'm this depressed. I have so much work to do and nothing is getting done. I'm just not sure what to do next.
Posted 7/7/2009 9:59 AM (GMT 0)
hey pastoram, i hear you. over 40 different ad's over the past 20 yrs!! health first. i would follow the advise given to the respite-inpatient treatment. until you get to a level of managed depression i strongly urge you to think about the options given to you. hey, i have been where you are at, yeah, smetimes accepting the help is a hard thing, but in the circumstances i think it would be a wise step. get better real soon, i am always around. healings my friend, am sorry that you are very depressed also. keep fightin' you are in my thoughts. jamie.
Posted 7/7/2009 10:03 AM (GMT 0)
Tx Jaimee, I guess I have an antiquated idea of respite from when I worked in mental health 25 years ago and I can't picture that being helpful. But when I'm like this I just want to stay here in bed anyway. I have until next monday to figure out what I want to do, because she's on vacation this week (even though she told me to call her at home if I decide, I'd rather not). Thanks for the suppport.
Posted 7/7/2009 10:25 AM (GMT 0)
no prob's, rest my friend. and call her if you need, keep well and safe. yeah done my stints in psych as a patient, about 28 all up, yeah i am a consumer myself. jamie.
Posted 7/8/2009 12:41 AM (GMT 0)

Pastoram,  I know how hard it is to be depressed. I am at a very low point myself right now and my meds have just been upped.  Have you considered talking to a different psychiatrist and getting another opinion? If you feel this dr. is not helping you and you don't care for the ideas she has for your treatment I think you should find someone you can have a consultation with to see where you should be with your depression.  I know how hard it is to make decisions and even do the everyday little things.  Sometimes you just have to push yourself really hard to get control of your life again.  If I didn't like the dr. I would definitely look around for someone else for help. There is no rule that says you have to stay with the same dr. especially if you don't like her or if you feel she is not givng you the right advice.  Please post again and let us know what you have decided to do.  I wish you the very best and hope things start to work out better for you.

Aurora

Posted 7/8/2009 4:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pastoram,

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling so much to find some relief from depression. Jamie really is better able to speak of respite-inpatient than I am, but I will say that I found Intensive Outpatient Program to be very helpful. I get really anxious being locked in, so that was a good middle road for me to be able to get a lot of therapy without having to be locked inside all day (not that I usually went out much, but just the concept of not being able to escape frightened me -- long story behind that).

The result, in addition to the therapy groups, was that there was a lot more data that they could collect from extensive observation throughout the day. We started to recognize patterns & that definitely helped. Ultimately, as a result of that, we opted not to continue trying more anti-depressants, but to start on BCP and to treat with more therapy & with some behavioral changes. It did make a real difference. I was not perfect, but I was not constantly thinking about suicide anymore either. I recently started on Synthroid & that has truly been the miracle cure for my depression. I do have my bad days & when they come they are really bad. But it's gone from maybe having half a day per month when I was not depressed to having maybe a handful of days per month when I AM depressed, a couple weeks where I am even & a week or so worth of days when I am actually happy (who knew?!).

Keep at it! It will get better. Sometimes rest really is the best medicine, but you know what you're able to tolerate & what is definitely not going to work. My theory is to try everything that has a chance of working, but no point in trying stuff that won't work for you at all. Try to keep an open mind about things. If you don't like any of the options in front of you, Aurora had a great idea about getting a second opinion. The other route you could always go is to participate in a research study. I tried to get into one in the past where they were testing a fast-acting depression med. It seemed like a great opportunity to me. I knew the drug was safe & wanted to try, but due to a neurological condition, I was disqualified. But they had great results with the med. It is still in trial phase, but hopefully will be an option one day so that when people go to the ER, they can get relief within 3-5 days, rather than being discharged before the meds start to work.
I am now enrolled in a meditation study. Besides it being helpful, I get paid for my time which always makes it seem more appealing. :)

Take care of yourself & keep us posted about how you're doing!

Frances
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