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Losing my home

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Posted 7/7/2009 12:29 PM (GMT 0)
Aurora,
I have already been working with Suze Orman's materials. I got 2 of her books for free from Oprah.com when they were giving them away. I definitely agree that they are very helpful.

All,
I understand that I do have options to try to fight the foreclosure. Let me be clear: I do not WANT to fight it. I do not have money. At the end of the day, I will still lose my home. My bank has been honest with me all along. I knew I bought PMI when I bought my loan. I read every sentence of the mortgage papers. My prior job was in investment law, so I understood every word of the document. The problem is not that people are trying to cheat me, not follow the law or anything else.

I could MAYBE get some sort of MINOR loan modification if I fought for it, but it would only be for a short time (6 months or so). Then I could fight it in the courts for another 12 months. If I wanted, I could drag this process out for another year & a half, but I have absolutely no desire to do that. It is unbearably distressing for me to even think about losing my home. To have to continue thinking about it every day for the next 18 months -- honestly, I know I would not survive that. I am really, really struggling with self-destructive thoughts right now & to have to continue that struggle for longer than necessary seems like playing with fire.

Some people do not have any other options. I am blessed to live in a city with a lot of social services & I will be okay losing my home. I am not faulting anyone who wants to fight to keep their home for as long as possible, but I don't have that kind of strength in me. When I have been in the hospital in the past, they taught us that when things get really hard, we need to make things as simple as possible. For me, this is the simplest I can do. It will not be pleasant, but at least it is straightforward & involves the least amount of emotional distress.

I will ask for the discussions about the banks cheating people not to be posted to this thread. They are really upsetting to me & do not apply in my case. I get that some people did not understand the loan product they were buying, did not understand how their loan was financed, or did not understand/know when their loan was sold, modified, etc. but that is not my case. I understand everything perfectly, I just had the perfect storm of problems that resulted in me not being able to make my payments. I know you all are just trying to be supportive, but as raw as my emotions are right now, I am just getting more upset b/c it reminds me over & over again that this is entirely my fault & that since I worked in the financial services industry & DID understand everything, I should have known better/done something different/never gotten myself into this mess. I just feel crushed. I am so sorry. I gotta go...
Posted 7/7/2009 3:19 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Frances,

I understand how you are feeling and I agree moving on and making plans for your future are the right way to go now.

No more discussion re your decision about your home.  It is sad but you are moving on my friend and we are all here to support you.

Doctors without borders................an awesome group of people. 

Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) is an international medical humanitarian organization created by doctors and journalists in France in 1971.

On any one day, more than 27,000 committed individuals representing dozens of nationalities can be found providing assistance to people caught in crises around the world. They are doctors, nurses, logistics experts, administrators, epidemiologists, laboratory technicians, mental health professionals, and others who work together in accordance with MSF's guiding principles of humanitarian action and medical ethics.

Here is a link that may help you find the info you were asking about:

http://doctorswithoutborders.org/work/field/

I am sure there is a way for you to receive your medication or take an ample supply with you.  Depending on what country you would be in, the laws of that country would have to be researched.

I am sure you may have this info on Mercy Corps but just in case here is the link:

http://www.mercycorps.org/whoweare

Change takes patience and persistence.  Moving ahead with your life is a great challenge but I know you are up to it and if it makes you happy then go for it my friend.

Prayerfully,
Kitt


Posted 7/8/2009 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt,
I have never heard of Mercy Corps. What a great organization! Thanks so much for the info. It was really nice to come home to something encouraging.

I had such a bad day today. My mom decided it would be helpful to send a cleaning team to my home. What a nightmare. They called me at 8pm last night & told me they were coming at 7AM. As you can imagine, my place looks like a disaster hit it. I woke up at 5AM to try to get it cleaned & forgot to take my Synthroid. :( The cleaning people showed up & of course I wasn't ready for them, so that was stressful. Then I get a flat tire on my car & am late for work. I get a letter from the Bank saying that they are putting off filing foreclosure proceedings against me (ugh! when will this nightmare end?!). I just felt so horrible all day. The only bright spot was coming home & reading your note. I got distracted & forgot to reply to you earlier (forgive me), but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your encouragement.

Tomorrow is a new day & hopefully I will remember to take my Synthroid since I don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn. Who knew it could wreak such havoc missing one dose, but I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I hope you have a sun-shiny day tomorrow too & that your work goes okay.

peace,
Frances
Posted 7/8/2009 1:43 PM (GMT 0)

Frances,

A cleaning team, ya gotta love your Mama,  devil Did she hire a crew or send friends?  I have always wished people would ask me what I would like or what would help me most rather then deciding for me. 

I have forgotten to take my meds in the morning when I was working fulltime and I would be half way to work and remember.  It usually set my tail a spinning for a bit and I took the meds as quick as I could when I got home. It is amazing how missing one dose of certain meds  does make a difference.

Aaaahhh the bank.  They are certainly making you ride a roller coaster, I am so sorry.

Glad I could help with the info and I hope your day is sunny too.

Take care and enjoy the lack of dust bunnies.  I usually name my dust bunnies as I become rather fond of them.  :)

Hugs
Kitt

Posted 7/9/2009 6:20 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Frances,  I think it is wonderful that you are looking into different things to move forward and change your life.  I truly admire how brave you are.  You have been through a lot but you show such courage.  I know the cleaning team must have been distruptive but I'm sure it is nice now to have a clean house.  I'm sure your Mom meant well and wanted to help you.  As far as your meds go do you have a pill keeper?  That is one of those long boxes with slots for each day of the week.  I have been using a pill keeper for years and that way I never forget to take my meds.  Since I have meds for the AM and PM I have 2 pill keepers and I keep both on my night stand with water so that when I wake up in the AM I know to take my morning doses and then I do the same in the evening.  They are different colors so I know which one to use.  Just a suggestion but maybe this will help you.  I know how hard it is when you forget to take a med.  I wish you the very best with all you are looking into and hope that you find something that will be very rewarding for you.  You deserve to have some hapiness in your life.  Keeping you in my prayers.

Gentle hugs,

Aurora

Posted 7/9/2009 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Frances,

We never talked before but I just wanted to say that I understand your situation very well and that you are not alone.  I will be selling my house and moving on to a different state because the financial stress is simply not worth it.

I think you are very brave to post about your situation as that alone takes courage.  For many years I have fought hard to keep my house and it has been draining me and it's really not worth it.   Before I lose my house I can sell it and hopefully I will get a little bit of money from it.   I plan on living near my best friend of over 30 years and her family who I love very much.

I wish you the best!

Denise

Posted 7/10/2009 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt,
I sent the cleaning crew away. I just couldn't deal with them. They didn't speak English & I tried to explain things, but I was just having such a horrible morning & didn't have it in me to try to play pictionary & pantomine to get my points across. Oh well.

Aurora,
I do have a pill keeper. I think I need a little man to live in my pill keeper who can jump up & poke me & yell "don't forget to take your meds" (he has to yell b/c he's so tiny & otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear him :) It was hard on Tuesday b/c I had to get up at the crack of dawn. Thryoid meds have to be taken at exactly the same time every day. I was not due to take my meds for 2.5 hours after I woke up. After all the craziness with the cleaning crew, having a meltdown, deciding maybe I didn't really want to die & then being late for work, I lost track of taking my meds. Normally I put my pill box on top of my alarm clock so I take them as soon as I wake up. I guess no plan is fail-safe. :) Thanks for the idea. I'm still working on coming up with a solution to keep me on top of things. I used to have a Palm Pilot & would program all these things into it w/ alarms and all. Sadly, my Palm died over a year ago & I haven't the money to replace it. So I'm trying to find a good substitution & I've yet to figure anything out.

Denise,
Thanks for posting to me. I am sorry that you are going through financial hard times as well. I wish we could both just be in a better place, but I guess the best we can do is to make the right choices going forward & then to try to leave the past behind us, right? Well, that's what my plan is anyways. Thanks for sharing. I hope you will post here some more.

peace,
Frances
Posted 7/10/2009 6:02 AM (GMT 0)
hi frances,
I just recieved the reply you gave me on my depression post. it gave me hope and inspiration. thank you, and I'm sorry to hear of your problems. so although I may be a little young to give you much advice on this subject, I will keep you in my prayers.
natalie
Posted 7/10/2009 7:48 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Frances,

Hello and just a note to let you know I am thinking of you.  I got a giggle from you sending the cleaning crew away.  I could picture you doing this and trying to get them to understand that you did not want them at your home.

Well my friend you gave me a smile so you are still working good deeds.  :)

I wish you a peaceful weekend.

Kitt

Posted 7/16/2009 3:39 AM (GMT 0)

Dear Frances,

Being on the depressed and disabled list, I totally know that feeling of needing to clean up before someone else can come in and really clean up.  Too bad you couldn't have sent that cleaning crew my way!!!  LOL!!!   I'm a wicked cleaner in my head and if I could do it just by looking at it, my house would be immaculate.  I have more cleaning products known to mankind.  My Mom could help me, but doesn't because I'm a smoker, and she can't stand the smell.  She also doesn't come visit me for the same reason and only lives a mile away.  Makes me feel like a lepper.  My live-in boyfriend helps me out occasionally, but he's naturally messier than I am, so even though he can clean up, things are far grosser than they would be if I was just here by myself.  It's a Catch 22 situation.  I really need a maid for a half a day once a week, but I'll never be able to afford one.  I swear, poverty really sucks.  I never thought I'd be in this position at this stage in my life.  I too want things just to be simpler and less stressful.

Leigh Ann cool

Posted 7/16/2009 5:25 AM (GMT 0)
Leigh Ann,
I'll send them your way the next time. They seem to be pretty good as long as you're dressed & ready to get out of your house at 7AM. :)

I'm really not a morning person. My thyroid makes it even worse. I take my thyroid meds at 7:15 & they kick in about 7:45, prior to that I just feel super depressed, in horrible pain, and devoid of any energy. After I take the Synthroid I feel so much better, but with the cleaning people coming at 7, I have to try to start my day when I'm still feeling really lousy. My condo's really small, so there's really not enough room for me & them, so I need to go out to a cafe or something for an hour. Then at 8:15, I leave for work, so it's a pretty tight schedule. It's just not worth it to me. It only takes a couple hours for me to clean my place well & then I don't have to deal with the stress of being ready at a certain time.

Oh, the silly troubles of this world! ;\

Frances
Posted 7/16/2009 7:49 AM (GMT 0)
hi,
i feel so much for you, we are falling behind on our mortgage also but the bank isn't too bad. They have called out to us but as the economy here is bad that reposessing it isn't an option for THEM! You caouln't sell a tent in ireland at the moment.
Take care and i hope it works out, well it will work out somehow, it has too, as that's life i guess.
I know nothing i can say will make it go away.
thinking of you.
boo
Posted 7/16/2009 12:39 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Frances,

I had to giggle when I read you latest post re cleaning ladies.  I had a team come in once a month when I was working but the night before I would "clean" as you mentioned and I would make my hubby help me.  Oh my, he used to get cranky as I was paying someone to clean and he could not understand why I had to get everything "ready" for the cleaning gals. 

He also had to be out of the house by 8:30 AM for 3 hours and he would end up at Cabella's or one of his favorite sporting shops spending money.

So the cleaning really got expensive.  smhair

I hope you are doing well and please know I am here for you.

Happy Thursday.

Kitt

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