Update

Got another update for you guys. Not really sure if it's positive or negative this one. Just had a bit of a bombshell dropped on me by my ex, nothing that affects me directly but it left a nasty taste in the mouth at first. Not really too bothered if I'm honest. Just wish I hadn't wasted so much time on her if anything. I'd go as far as to say that the depression thing was triggered on by her and the actions of her friends. Oh well it's her problem now. World's still my oyster even if I have to battle the authorities on this section. It's a strange little fillip this but not taking too much from it just yet as there's still a chance things could deteriorate on my side of things with life being uncertain as we all know. It's given me a little bit of fight back which is a nice positive to have. Watch this space.

Hi guys

I took it upon myself to write a memoir of all my dealings with my ex to show what I was up against and continue to be up against as her and her boyfriend harass me. Hopefully some of you might be able to relate to the scenario I was in and will take some comfort that you really are not alone. This isn't a defamatory link or anything obscene. It is just my personal account of the past 7 months.

Link: http://benedizione.blogspot.com/

Thanks Raniah

As far as I'm concerned she's confined to my past. I don't expect to have any contact with her ever again and even if I did I'll just brush it off. What happened in the past is in the past. All I will say is that I'm so happy to be out of all that. Finally I've had one day where I'm not having to deal with drama for the first time in over 7 months. Far as I'm concerned I've dodged a real bullet and I have put it behind me.

One observation I can make is that she did, with her boyfriend's help, try and make me feel that I was worthless which led to my very negative postings from when I got here up until last week.

They've been harassing me all day, sending derogatory messages about how they've been together all along and how much of a fool I am but honestly it doesn't bother me now. I'm looking at the positives and that's the road ahead.

I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm at the beginning. Hopefully more good news will be heading my way and I can establish myself as a pillar of moral support on here alongside the likes of jamiee, Raniah and kitt to name but three. You've all been such great support during my tough times and I very much intend to repay that to you all.

Thanks again

Rich

Not really much positivity in this update folks. More boredom than anything if I'm honest.

One thing I have found this week since things started to improve was that I've sort of got my drive back. I say sort of because I'm not 100% back into it but I'm getting there. Work's actually becoming enjoyable again. Might sound weird that I say that but I got offered some freelance work last week so that's been at the forefront. Money's not great when you're working from home but the positives far outweigh the negatives in terms of being in an office. I've already impressed though with the editor inviting me down to the office talk to him. Not sure what it will entail but it won't be a 'collect your cards' meeting so I'm cautiously optimistic.

The football thing has gone unmentioned so fingers crossed the little upstart trying to cause a stir won't get his way. Asked the manager earlier what the score was on training and all he said was '11am, same as last week' so hopefully that will be the end of it. I'm actually not too bothered if I don't make the starting line-up at all during the season. Just want to get a few appearances from the bench and be a part of the team. Wouldn't make any odds to me if I had to be up early on a cold winter Sunday morning to stand on the touchline as a sub. Long as I'm not getting the Beckham treatment (fair play to the Galaxy fans btw) I'll be fine.

I was watching the film 'Control' earlier. It's a biopic about the life of Joy Division singer Ian Curtis. Can't go into too much detail about it due to site rules but watching it I thought about how lucky I was compared to him, even with the fame and fortune that lay ahead of him. The message I got from watching it was the old one that no matter how bad you think you've got it, there really is someone else far worse off.

Pleased to report that everything went well at training today. Well, apart from a few pulled muscles and the like but nothing a week's rest can't heal. Don't think I'm going to break into the team any time soon but I'm part of the squad so that's something. No mention of what went off with this person whatsoever so hopefully that's me in the clear. Even if they did mention it, they can't kick me out now as I've just paid my signing on fee for the season

I'm starting to realise that the negative mindset I was in the other week wasn't solely down to me. It had a lot to do with other people knocking my confidence, people who aren't worthy of my time. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with them again so it's as you were in April.

Watch this space again

Hi Rich, You are definitely sounding better. I am so glad for you! To read that you are getting your drive back, and that you are enjoying work again, is music to my ears (eyes?). I work from home part of the time, too, so I know what you mean about the joys of not having to go into the office. I’m thrilled that things are going well at training…..I hope that continues, and also hope you will keep your confidence up and not let others determine your mindset. Thanks for posting…..I was so glad to read your updates.