Depressed Boyfriend unsure of himself

Hello I'm Wispy and I found this website to possibly get some helpful advice on how to deal with my boyfriends chronic depression and anger management problems.   We have been going out for almost 3 years now.  And I can honestly tell you that he has the sweetest heart in the world, he has love and compassion for his friends and family that share his best interest.  He gives a lot more than what he recieves from anyone. 

he rarely has rage attacks or outbreaks. he more often uses those hand gestures that surpress anger. For the past few months he has been describing some weird feeling he is having in his mind, like he can feel himself emotionally unstable.  It worried me and he suggested for him to get help.  His dad has been stressing him out, and his grandmother has been constantly bickering at him and "flaming the fire". 

His Rages scare me.  I love him from the bottom of my heart and he knows that and feels the same way about me.  He has never verbally or physically abused me.  And I don't think he ever will.

This has all been happening for a while, just 3 weeks ago he has been spiraling downward. Today he exploded, his dad yelled about the money he spends constantly.  And how he doesn't want friends that he doesn't approve of to come over and barge around their home.  My boyfriend snaps and says he is leaving and not coming back grabs the car keys and storms out the front door, his dad comes running outside for him to drive carefully but he is already at his peak of his rage.  Black out rages run in the family, where you are so angry you break, or harm something or someone without even knowing what you are doing.  Well we were driving in the car and he was yelling that his dad doesn't ****ing listen.  And Just punches the windshield and leaves a huge crack I immediately am terrified because I've never seen him do anything like that before and burst into tears he did as well and pulled over and started calling himself horrible things while crying and saying hes worthless and he didn't mean it.  We talked to his mother about the whole ordeal and she made both of us feel more secure about it knowing he is getting help tomorrow, but does anyone have any suggestions for me as his girlfriend to help him in his situation?  I hug him and comfort him, tell him it is ok.  Is there anything else I should say?  staying quiet makes him more angry sometimes.

Please advice would be greatly appreciated.

Post Edited (Wisp) : 8/11/2009 5:29:35 AM (GMT-6)

I was afraid someone wouldn't reply.

It feels nice to have someone who understands what I am dealing with and gives encouraging words. 

He also lives with his Grandmother who he despises and really wishes that she is dead.  She never listened or showed any sentimental feelings toward him since he was young because he chose not to believe in God and she still is trying to convert him to Christian because she thinks it might help him be a better person.  But she won't let go of the idea, and is constantly getting him mad infront of his father and behind his back by doing little annoying things that she knows seriously hurts and gets to him.

His mom lives on the other side of the country.  She helps us by speaking to her friends and family here in our city to help him out.

Basically he lived with his mom since age 13 and when she decided to move to the other side of the country, he said he wasn't going to go and went under custody of his father.  But he didn't know the house he is living him will not show him any moral support whatsoever.

Thanks again.

I'm about to leave to go visit his other grandmother because she is taking him to the physician today. 

Thanks I'll keep it posted.

-Wisp <3