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Posted 8/5/2009 6:01 AM (GMT 0)
I know this story is kinda dumb, but I do want people to respond to this. a couple of months ago I hooked up with a friend of mine and it was i say one of the worst things that I ever did!!! what,how and why it happened is beyond me I hated for it to happen and it suxs we do have a age gap between the both of us by 10 yrs im 28 and she's 21. I mean I know drinking on a random night lead to this.since then I have felt like total absolute crap been depressed kinda maybe because I havn't heard from her in a while since it happened!!! if I could apologize for everything that happend,I would I just want things the way they used to be because, I hate being like this.I really do need help on this lend me your ears guys and girls. I just really want to move on from this and i try but it just keeps scaring me to death!! what do i do


Thank you guys!!!
Posted 8/5/2009 7:18 AM (GMT 0)
sorry that you are feeling depressed. i do not know what exactly happened, i am reading between the lines.  what needs to be done? do you need to talk to the person, do you need a response from this person? obvously this person is angry, thus avoiding contact. i feel you need to talk openly to someone, a counsellor, pastor, etc. i feel you are very remorseful for what happened, maybe you can write a letter to pass on, but i feel that you need to talk to someone soon. i am sure others here at hw will be able to offer more info, please keep yourself safe, and if in need contact your emergency numbers. jamie.
Posted 8/5/2009 12:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Air,

Jamie is right, I think that we need a little more information here. I have no clue as to what you are asking. I dont' know what happened, why it happened or how it happened. Could you elaborate on this please, within forum rules of course. We would like to be here for you, but need a few more details as to what went on between the two of you.

Best wishes to you. Please post a little more information.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/6/2009 8:32 PM (GMT 0)

Air, I am lost, what happened?

Gem

Posted 8/6/2009 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
Heeja Air,

I think I understand what you are talking about, though some more info wouldn't harm us. I think the best thing you can do is to have a good chat with here and sort things out. If you aren't happy, there is work to be done. I don't know what sort of lady she is, but your happiness is just as important as hers. If you are find yourself unable to speak to her about this, there might be a friend of yours who you can speak to, or else you might want to have a chat with a professional is that is possible.

Furthermore, you can always keep talking to us, there are a lot of awesome members here, so give it a shot!

Take care my friend,

Erik
Posted 8/6/2009 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
28-21 is 7, not 10.
Posted 8/7/2009 5:59 AM (GMT 0)
sorry about the miscalculation. my mind has been all screwed up but yes i would definitly love to talk to someone especially the girl as well and smooth things out. I honestly want to say I am so sorry about the things that happened that night. I just feel really really bad about all of this. Its just totally killing me inside if someone here can pm me a # just to talk I sure do appreciate it.
Posted 8/8/2009 5:37 AM (GMT 0)
I hope everything works out but 7 years isn't all that unheard of. I guess my best advice would be to just talk to her and let her know how you feel and see how she responds.
Posted 8/8/2009 1:48 PM (GMT 0)
Alcohol is a depressant so if you already suffer from depression it makes it worse.
Plus if you are already on anti-depressants it tottally negates any therapeutic value
of the meds. Meaning if you drink and take meds the meds can't work.

If you are having trouble with your drinking I would suggest you try a few A.A.
meetings. There is a lot of support there and many people suffer from depression.

Hope this helps...it has helped me immensely.
Posted 8/14/2009 6:41 AM (GMT 0)
I defintly want to smooth things out thats for sure the summer is coming to an end and i dont want this to drag with me all year long well the remainder of this year I really do want to talk to her one on one about this I mean we agreed it was wrong on both of our parts but ya know how a random night could be!!! as for a problem with alcohol I could use help on that too maybe me and alcohol sometimes isnt my best friend at one time I almost got kicked outta school for being drunk, I have been behind the wheel totally drunk I almost lost a job for being drunk well buzzed and also a couple of weeks ago i got pissed off for no reason being drunk I just need to look at myself and wonder what i am doing wrong maybe I just need to go about quitting for good
Posted 8/14/2009 9:08 AM (GMT 0)

air said... as for a problem with alcohol I could use help on that too maybe me and alcohol sometimes isnt my best friend at one time I almost got kicked outta school for being drunk, I have been behind the wheel totally drunk I almost lost a job for being drunk well buzzed and also a couple of weeks ago i got pissed off for no reason being drunk I just need to look at myself and wonder what i am doing wrong maybe I just need to go about quitting for good

You just answered your own question. By the information you have given, you have a problem with alcohol. Drink driving, being drunk at work, getting 'p**ssed' just to be drunk- these are all serious signs that you need to not only recognise, but respond to quickly.

Im sorry, I absolutely do want you to get help and am really glad you are here, but I have zero tolerance for drink driving. 

Please seek professional help- its great that you seem to be acknowledging a problem with alcohol abuse, but now you need to back that up with seeing a doctor, counsellor, or meetings, online AA- whatever it takes to rid you of your apparent need for alcohol.

If you are already depressed, drinking will only make this worse as alcohol is a depressant. I dont mean to sound harsh- but I have lost friends to people who knowingly chose to drink and drive and I find it hard to understand an adult choosing to get behind the wheel whilst inebriated.

I really do wish you all the best and hope you are able to start taking some positive steps forward- and i do applaud you for realising that as you say- "alcohol is not your best friend." Hang in there- I wish you all the best, and we are here to help you on your journey as best we can.

Maz XX

Posted 8/14/2009 9:40 AM (GMT 0)
Air,
Please read my quotation below. This has carried me through a lot of "life".

Alcohol and depression.....is a coctail that spells disaster. I know first hand that the "morning after"......can take a hold of you for days and sometimes weeks of depression of what you did while you were drinking.

But you know what.....you have got to move forward. Don't dwell on your mistakes....learn from from them.!!

Keep your head up!

Krista..
p.s...don't forget to read the quote!!
Posted 8/14/2009 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
Krista is right. I too am trying to cut back on the amount I drink as well. I have panic/anxiety disorder as well as depression. Though I have not driven drunk (I don't care for that either), I do notice that sometimes when I start "early" I find it very hard to stop. I know it's hard, but I also know that the meds I'm taking are not working like they should. Hang in there and keep us posted! wink
Posted 8/15/2009 7:34 AM (GMT 0)
thank you all for the responses I know I have to do something about this I know it was wrong to drink and drive and all the other things that has happened I could have hurt myself or someone else and I know I do have to go for counseling its gonna have to be done if alcohol has caused all these events to happen I do need help.as far as the girl I know i lost a friend indeed and thats what hurts me the most. we were cool before that night happened since then its been pretty bad I dont expect to make things up in one day I def want it to take time to heal all the pain that I caused Im definitly going to find an A.A. around my area and get my life back together.I hate myself for being like this
Posted 8/15/2009 10:15 AM (GMT 0)
good steps air. do not hate yourself. we all have impulse moments of stupidity and or recklessness, geez if i were to tell you all of mine..................well..........the thing i did and i think you need to do is to forgive yourself. kind regards. jamie.
Posted 8/15/2009 2:14 PM (GMT 0)
Jamie hit the nail on the head air...don't hate yourself...I too, just like everyone else in this world....I have done INCREDIBLY dumb, stupid, "I can't believe I did/said that", moments......(nights) in my life. You are SO young. Trust me, I am now 36...and the things I did in my twenties....I YI YI.

We can't change how people feel about us....just change the way we feel about ourselves.
It's probably the hardest thing in this crazy world to do...as I so know, as I am definitely my own worst enemy and critic on many things!!

Keep your head up and make a promise to yourself that today is a new day....and you can't change your yesterdays......but only to be the best possible person you can TODAY!

Hang in there kiddo!
Krista
Posted 8/16/2009 10:44 AM (GMT 0)
a big yes to krista air. AIR, HERE AND NOW!!!. jamie. keep safe, strong, we care and would love to know how things are going, if that is okay? we are here for you. with loving compassion. jamie
Posted 8/16/2009 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
thank you for the kind words guys when I mean "I hate myself" is for the people that I have hurt due to drinking but I will get through this and for what happened a while back is probably one of the worst things I ever did in my whole entire life.
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