Looking for others who feel the same way.

Hi Everyone,

This is my first time visiting this website. I have visited Depression chats before but haven't done so in a while. I have Major Depression with Anxiety and who knows what else. This has been one of the worst weeks of my life. I have been attending a University for 3 years now and I can't seem to pass the qualifying exam that allows me to do the internship. Last I heard the department was going to talk about where to go from here. They said there is a chance I will be done there. This is killing me. I feel like such a failure. I have come so far and now nothing? How can a test show that much about me? Anyways, besides that my younger brother was put in jail yesterday. He broke probation and now may be in jail for a year. I don't know how I will handle it. I am one of the only people that visits him. I do every week but I always leave crying. It is so hard to see your younger brother in orange. On top of that I found out my littlest brother who is in the Army is headed to war again in December when we thought he was headed to more training. I was glad that I would have a few months not to worry but guess that plan got thrown out the window. I am so proud of him but he is one of the only people who really understands my feelings regarding family and not being able to talk for so long sucks! So, as you can see I am pretty depressed this week! I have called in to work sick twice this week. I am hoping the time to myself will help. Crying in between teaching students just isn't good. Well, I just wanted to get this out. Thanks for reading.

yeah, I have an appointment with the therapist next Thursday.

Thanks

I am thinking I really should talk to someone about that. I know for sure in this instance I was very anxious.

Wow, that sounds tough. When I'm down I'm get SERIOUSLY down but if I had to deal with what you're going through I don't know what I'd do.

You must keep strong, focused, dedicated to your family. I know you will and they need to know you will too. Try to keep your mind in control sweetheart, it'll all be okay. Just give your mind time. It'll all fit back together again soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sure hope it all comes together soon. This is so hard. Tomorrow I am going to go see my brother; that is if he remembered to put me on the visitors list which hopefully they will tell me on the phone. I drive an hour to see him for 15 minutes! It's not fun but I know he needs to see me because I put on fake happy face and have good conversation with him. Well, hope the college gets back to me soon. thanks everyone.

 Hello Inkobsessed,

I would like to say hello and am truly sorry for your terrible situation.

You sound like a very intelligent,sensitive and very caring guy and dont ever change that. Im sorry about your brother and hope he is not doing thing's to hard. Also you are very supportive of him as not many people would drive 1 hour to see a person for 15minutes and that show's that your a good person. I also read that you have to put on that happy face,i to have to do this but am at the point where if im not feeling happy im not going to put it on anymore just for the sake of others and i dont think you should have to do this to. Except maybe when you see ur brother as it may upset him and that's hat you dont want i gather.

Also please go and talk to a thearapist to get it all out and maybe some medication would help to?? Please look after YOU!!!! if you dont who will hey. lol. Be good.

best wishes,

beverley.

Thanks Beverly,

Just so you know I am a woman :) I had a really hard night tonight. I over drank and I think made a fool of myself to my family and friends by calling them in despair. I am on medication but it must not be working anymore. I dont know. I hate to switch and have that be worse. I know inside that alcohol isnt the answer but I like the feeling of relief a couple drinks gives me at least when I can keep it there. I havent made it an everyday thing. IT is hard to tell myself I dont have a problem with it though. Ah, I just feel like a fool.

Inkobsessed,

Just remember that alcolhol is a depressant. That could be what is making you more depressed. Even if you don't get drunk, it still works against your anti depressants.

Don't feel like a fool. WE all make mistakes. Just learn from them. I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen