don't know what to do anymore

Hi Tigerlily101,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.  I am so glad that you have found us and joined in.  First of all, this is a very hard time of the year.  I don't exactly know why but January and February are hard months.  Maybe it has to do with the holidays being over and people feeling empty, or maybe it is the weather, but none the less, this is an extremely hard time of the year. 

I know that counseling really helps me.  I have been going for years.  And I am glad that you started.  I know that the first visit doesn't seem like much, but I promise that things are going to start to get better once you get going on the counseling.  It just takes time, so be patient. 

Try to take life one day at a time and live in the now.  It is so important.  Be aware of what life has to offer at that particular moment.  What you are experiencing, and seeing, touching and hearing.  All your senses put together.  Be aware of your surroundings.  Live in the moment.  Don't worry about the future and don't dwell on the past.  This can be done, you just have to work on it. 

I also take medications.  It took a long time until I found what worked for me.  So if you have to take medications, be patient there too.  It can take up to six weeks before any anti depressant reaches it's full effect.  So you have a little ways to go yet, but just don't give up.  Keep trying.  You will feel better soon.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks for replying :).
And ya I guess I have to be patient but its just hard when you feel this crappy all the time because I really don't have any patience left. I just want to feel better now because I'm so miserable. And like I said I don't know how much more of this I can take.
I've been having really bad luck lately with dating guys too which I think is part of the problem. I was seeing this one guy for a while and then he broke up with me because he was going to be working out of town and going to Australia but I knew at the same time he just doesn't really want a girlfriend. And I was really upset about it because I did really really like him and I just like being in a relationship. I feel pathetic though that I'm one of those girls who doesn't like to be single. I just hate being alone. But anyway since I'm a huge idiot I ended up hooking up with my ex a few months after we broke up which was a horrible horrible idea. I knew it was at the time but there was definitely some alcohol involved lol which I also know is a bad idea. I guess I just feel like I can't not drink because that's what my friends do on weekend- we go out and drink. And I know I could go out and not drink but frankly that would not be fun for me. So it's either stay home and do nothing or go out and drink with my friends. But anyway back to my exboyfriend... of course I also thought well maybe there is a chance he will want to get back together but he shot that idea down immediately and so I'm right back to being horrible and missing him again. But I will not be making that mistake again. Now I just feel terrible about myself.
Then a few weeks ago I met this really really great guy and we were getting along well and had gone out for a few dates, when out of nowhere he gets this call about a new job out of town where he can make lots of money so now he is moving away. And its like why does this happen to me. Why would I have something great given to me, only to be taken away? I know I'm young and have plenty of time to find someone but for some reason it just doesn't feel that way to me. Like I said I like being in a relationship and I am one of the only single people out of my group of friends. I know that shouldn't matter but it does to me.
I don't know I'm just so sick of the way I'm feeling like I can't stop crying.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

FROM JAMIE. KEEP SAFE. WE ARE HERE.

I went to my counciler again this week... I still don't really know if I'm clicking with her. But anyway she told me I should go see my doctor again so I did. She put me on Cipralex... anyone else been on it/know anything about it? Hopefully it works. I have been feeling a tiny bit better in general but still not great. But at least in a week I have reading week and get to go to Mexico! It gives me something to look forward to.

one day at a time my friend. you are on your journey to wellness. keep posting and keep seeking support. enjoy your trip. with compassion and care, jamie.

Yeah I definitely think you're right. I probably should lay off the dating and just figure myself out for right now. It's just hard because I do really want to be with someone and I can't ignore that feeling. But I know that in order to really be happy I have to be happy with myself first. So that's what I'm working on for right now.
My medication seems alright so far. The first few days I felt a little light headed in the mornings after I took it but that's gone away now. No other side effects as of right now :)

my condolences to you smurfyshadow. your brave sharing is helping tigerlily. and 2 us all. i lost my lady, albeit with support i have regained me. i still miss her, but i know that she is happy with my direction and purpose. DG41, sound info too. tigerlily, time 4 you to heal. my compassion 2 you all. jamie.