HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I'm Really Starting To Hate Myself

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/7/2010 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
I'm almost 14 (March 26) and for the past 9 months whenever something goes wrong my mum gets really angry at me.

*Your just like your d*ckhead father and his family, why don't you go and live with them

*I wish i never had a d*ckhead of a kid like you

*Should have given you up at birth

*Your no child of mine

*Your a real b*tch of a kid

*You couldn't be a normal kid could you, no you had to be like his family

*Everytime I look at you you remind me of your d*ckhead father

*(Holds her fist at my head, but dosn't touch me) I feel like punching your head in and killing you and burying you in the ground

I really hate myself, i feel like an outcast, a werido, unormal and selfish.

She apololises afterwards but it ALWAYS happens again.

It really gets to me at night even when it's not happening.

I want to talk to someone in person who i know as well as on here, like one of my  teacher's but i'm worried i'll make myself look stupid, as if i'm getting upset over nothing.

Post Edited (Jewels-Anne) : 3/7/2010 8:00:20 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/7/2010 2:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jewel,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.  I am glad that you have joined us.

I am sure your mom doesn't mean what she is saying.  But it sounds like she has a short fuse.  I am sorry about what she says to you.  Nobody deserves it.  But you can't let this measure your self worth.  You are a wonderful person in need of some support right now. 

First of all, I would talk to the teacher that you trust.  It would really help you.  And he/she could set you up with some counseling.  I am not saying that anything is wrong with you.  It is not.  But you could use the counseling for support at this time.  Your mother's treatment could harm you in the future if you don't get the counseling and support. 

Secondly I want to give you some links to some sites that could help you to talk to people that are your peers. 

http://www.teencentral.net/

http://nineline.org/

http://forums.teenhelp.org/

I hope that these sites help you.  and I hope that you realize that your mother is wrong to say these things to you.  You are a good person.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 3/7/2010 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
take care of you. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 3/7/2010 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
wow.

These are awful things to say to anyone let alone your child. I cant imagine the pain you have inside. It makes me sad and its not even being said to me. GOd bless you. stay strong

your "mother" sounds like she has mental health issues.

can you go to your other side of the family?

melissa
Posted 3/7/2010 7:21 PM (GMT 0)
Jewels,
You do NOT deserve to hear this from your mother. She must not be quite well. Just know that you are good & worthwhile. Hang in there.
Posted 3/7/2010 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
yeah turn hi jewels! i am so sorry your mom is talking to you so mean! i'm sure you are a great young lady and do not deserve that. does your mom drink? my dad used to talk to me in a cruel way when he had been drinking-i was your age when it was so bad. please talk to someone. keeping it bottled up will only keep you upset and could cause health problems. i tried to talk to my mom about it but she would just talk bad about Dad and not try to help me feel better. my parents were married 38 years and it was HELL!-especially for me and my younger brother. i am 62 years old and still bear the emotional scars. please speak to someone and don't carry it around 50 years like i have. good luck and please take care! Donna smilewinkgrin turn turn tongue
Posted 3/8/2010 9:05 AM (GMT 0)
thx for sharing your experience donna. you have helped this young lady. i too hope that you are okay as well. here for you, jamie.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply