HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I am lost and numb

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/12/2010 7:39 AM (GMT 0)
I had a very traumatic experience today.  It hit me to my core.  I have hypothyroid, GERD, Chronic Abdominal Pain and 2 herniated disks in the cervical C5-6 and C6-7, Anxiety, high cholesterol, and hysterectomy, I just feel medically challenged.  For the past few months my GERD has flared up and I have trouble eating, drinking, everything makes me sick.  I have been under alot of stress since the holidays.  My sister cut ties with me, and made it so my extended family think I abandoned them.  Fine, I moved on, I accept that. We lost two friends after Christmas, 56, and 47.  I got a promotion in January that has me stressed, and working alot.  That has I'm sure made my pain levels and Gerd worse I am sure.  I didn't seek this out, it was forced on me.  At first, I was open to it, but now I am feeling it might have been a mistake given my medical challenges.  

My Gerd has taken my voice.  I sound like I have laryngitis all the time.  It finally got to the point I sought care from my dr.  He sent me to a GI, whom I have seen a few years back.  The GI doc scheduled an EGD and prescribed two Zegerid pills per day.   The day of the EGD he stated he found some gerd damage, lots of polyps in my stomach from years of PPI therapy, and took some biopsies.  That brings me to today, my followup.

He told me the biopsies were clean, no cancer.  I explained that even on the two pills per day, I am vomitting yellow bile, food, and still have issues with my GERD.  He sat back in his chair and said all my problems are because of my weight.  He suggested I go to weight watchers, or overeaters annonymous.   shocked  "That's all I have" he said as he repeated the weight watcher and overeaters annonymous.  He then said, "feel free to find a surgeon who can do the acid reflux surgery, and while he is in there he might as well do a bariatric procedure.  I explained I have a husband with diabetes, so we do not eat poorly, or in huge portions, etc.  My problem is I can't eat.  He said the same thing again, shook my hand, gave me my coat, and wished me luck.  Please don't think I am being dramatic, this was all real.

I feel like he reached down my throat, yanked out my soul, and smashed it.   I cannot sleep despite my usual cocktail of meds.  My eyes are so swollen from crying, I have lost my focus, and feel like a hollow shell.  I succomed to this.  I'm so exhausted that I lost my ability to let it roll off my shoulder.  I used to be strong, and make fun of my medically challenged state, so I could keep moving forward.  Not today.

I could not muster the energy to talk to my husband, and get support.  Ironically enough, we had to attend a play tonight, Beauty and the Beast! I just sat in my seat with tears running down my face.

That leaves me here, 1:30am, have a busy day of writing memo's, and I have a feeling my employee is going to call in sick tomorrow.  Can't sleep.  cry

Posted 3/12/2010 10:20 AM (GMT 0)
Sue,

I am sorry for what the doctor said. Are you overweight? I am sure that losing weight would help you all around, and I hear that weightwatchers is a good plan, though I am sure that is costs a lot of money. I tried the nutrisystem thimg and it was a joke. The food was really expensive and everything was soy. Yuck. So of course I didn't stick it out. But wish I could find a program that I could do. I can't do Curves because of my fibromyalgia, so I walk a lot when I can. I lost eight pounds due to a med change, but put some of it back on. This is so frustrating.

I don't know much about gerd, except that it is very unpleasant. I hope that yours gets better soon. And I hope taht your depression subsides. Try to take life one day at a time. Maybe go off any carbs that is in the diet. Or can you? Do you have a special diet from the gerd that you have to follow?

When I went on a diabetic diet, I lost weight, but then go too skinny. And it seemed like I was always eating. Schedules you know, with the food. I ate a lot of salads, and low fat everything. But it sure made me feel better. Everything improved with the diet. I can't lose weithg easy with the fibromyalgia I have. I am just now physically active enough. I use to walk miles a day. Now I am lucky to make it around the block.

I hope that you feel better soon. Don't let what the doc said bother you. Try to focus on something else.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/12/2010 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
RedSam, have you tried taking Prilosec OTC? Or Nexium or Previced? Prilosec works wonders for me.

Hope you feel better soon!
Posted 3/12/2010 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
hi sue, i too have medical stuff going on, t1 diabetes, and i watch everything i eat, hypercholesterolliperdemia, diabetic nuropathy (feet) lombroscal spine, hormone deficient, (testes issues) am infertile, massive and persistant insomnia, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder, reflux at times, massive teeth issues-being treated for the last 6 months, very carious, rotten-etc. cyclic dreaming, sweats have been hospitalised 28 times. 20 public, 8 private-the private were 3 plus months each, had a course of treatment in 2004-ECT, also did a 6 month inpatient program 4 people with borderline personality disorder as well. was homeless for 2 yrs and very psychotic, quit uni-was failing badly, became very psychotic, lost my lady in 2006. i have given up on many occassions, and been down some nasty roads, but i am studying again, have a nice home and am engaged.

i always appreciate that a lot of people are doing it tougher than me. i still struggle, but because of my never say die principles i soldier on. life can suck at times, yeah even harder with the complexities of a mental illness preceeding with the pyhsical. i am writing this to say that regardless of the medical/mental that you are a precious human being of this earth. we are who we are-worts and all. i hope that you continue to soldier on, as we all must. take care. love you for you. i am sending healing prayers your way, and hugs too. jamie.

Posted 3/13/2010 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your kind words. I am overweight, but not because of overeating, or eating wrong. Even when I tried hard core dieting, it never worked out well due to my hypothyroid condidtion. I follow the same diet as my hubby, Little or NO carbs, small meat portion, veggies. I do the best I can excersize wise, it is hard because of the abdominal adhesions, and the herniated disks in my neck. I walk and use the stairs at work when I can... I certainly don't choose to stay as I am. Alot of the side effects on my meds also contribute.

And yes, there is a financial reason as well. I have two boys, one will be going to high school next year. My job is going on the second year with no increase, as well as my husband.

The Zegerid I am on, has omeperazole in it. That is what I have to take to combat the reflux, and it is the last medication I have available under insurance, since my insurance will not cover Nexium.
Posted 3/17/2010 7:34 AM (GMT 0)
buggers, nexium is good. hang in there. i know that you have a lot going on, thus i send you my healing prayers. with compassion,

jamie.

Posted 3/17/2010 11:25 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Redsam,

I know what you are going though. I am a diabetic (type 2), and a little over weight, but I'm trying hard to lose it. Over the past 9 years I've been getting bad abdomen pain, touble in the toilet area, feeling/being sick every time I eat, always sleepy ect, My GP wouldn't do anything about it and just kept telling me that it was down to my weight, and told me that if I lost weight all my problems would go away. How wrong he was. I lost 3 stone in 1 year and still no better. Due to this the depression I had got worse, and I lost my job over it, as I wasn't working as hard as I could of. about 4 months ago I told myself enough is enough and changed my GP as this wasn't being fair on my Daughter (who I'm bring up on my own). My new GP is great and is doing everything possible to help me. She has do so many blood tests on me, now i'm told I have underative thyroids, and one of my tests came back positive for coeliac disease. So I was sent to a Speacialist and saw him on monday (15/3/10), just to get kicked back down, He tried to tell me that just because the blood test came back positive it don't mean i have it, I have to have an endoscopy done on the 31st march which I am really scaried about (I have a fear of hospitals st the best of times), and he told me that all my pain and bits are all in my head and then started on about my weight. I was so cross that I was seeing red when I left that appointment. I am now going back to my DR and telling her that I'm not happy with this specialist and want to be put into another specialist.  Maybe you should do this as well, Go and talk to your GP and tell him/her what happened and say that you want to see someone else. They are not allowed to blame everything on to peoples weight, I'm not saying losing weight wouldn't help, but it's not the only thing you can do, he should of been more helpful to you.

I hope this helps, Good luck mate and hope you start to feel better soon x

Posted 3/20/2010 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Lee, you are right.  There is no reason a doctor should blow you off and make assumptions without even knowing you!  My dear husband was able to make me laugh the other day.  I made a comment to him that I got the insurance statement and I will owe this doctor money (Deductible).  I said I should just pay him $5 a month.  He added, sure that sounds good, tell them you are devotiong all of his other payments to cover the visits to weight watchers, over eaters annonymous, AND a gastric surgeon, as he so blindly dictated!tongue

I wish you luck and healing hugs on your journey.  I do plan on revisiting with my regular doctor, and having a huge discussion.  I sometimes feel I am in a medical nightmare.  I do the best I can to keep busy, active, etc.  It's hard when you have to hear things like: 1. Loosing weight will be difficult for you with your hypothyroid condition. 2. Avoid any chiropractic adjustements to your neck, and absolutely NO heavy lifting due to the herniated disks. 3. Do not go overboard with physical activity so as not to aggrivate the herniated disks, and abdominal adhesions.

Sometimes I feel you just can't win.  Today I am having my own holdiay.  I am doing nothing but quality time.  Movies, watching the snowfall, and relaxing.  Dinner is in the crock pot, today is a day for nothing challenging.

Posted 1/26/2011 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Silly question, but are you on Thyroxine for your Hypothyroidism? Have you talked to someone about increasing your Thyroxine dose? My mum had Hyperthyriodism which had to be controlled using radioactive Iodine which means her thyroid is now dead and she has to take Thyroxine for the rest of her life. She has recently been concerned about her weight and has had her Thyroxine levels increased in order to level out her metabolism. It might be possible that is what you need in order to help. I suffer from Gastric reflux and am on Omeprazole too. Also my partner has reflux and a Hiatus hernia and takes Lansoprazole, because Omeprazole doesn't work and his got as bad as vomiting as well. It's possible you might need stronger tablets.

I'm sorry your doctor was so unkind, I personally would put in a rather sharp complaint regarding his attitude and go and get a second opinion. Hope things get better for you. :)
Posted 1/26/2011 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
Tixlixslr26,

Hi there. This is an older thread and I doubt that you are going to get much response on it. It is from March of last year.

I would like to welcome you to the forum. Feel free to start a thread of your own and introduce yourself if you would like to. That is done by clicking on "new topic" and going from there.

Thanks for posting.

Hugs, Karen
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply