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'it will all get better'

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Posted 5/30/2010 2:29 PM (GMT 0)
hi guys, this is yet another round of depression for me, and you know what i hear everytime? 'it will all get better'

who else hears that, and thinks, well, you know, it just might. and next week, month, year, lo and be hold, nothing is better.

i try and see the positives in my life, but there are none, and some of you will firstly think, well surely there are some, but im sorry, there isnt. work is as bad as ever, dealing with bosses and bad customers, i have just had to move back into my parents newly broken home, with my 'father' that i have forever hated, im trying to deal wit that as well now, im still single, and i went out for the first time in a long time last night, thought i was going great with a girl, and i ended up running away from the club and ended in hospital cause i was going to end it all last night, all cause everything built up, and i thought i was going great, only to be rejected for the billionth time.

i just read someones post 'why live' and i wholy and soley agree with you, freinds(what little i have) family drs and councillors all give me the million reasons of not killing myself, but none can answer my question of why live.

i hate it, i really do, and im at wits end, im at a really bad place in my head and dont know where to go from here. is there anone else like me? :'( i need to know if i am really alone in this world

Posted 5/30/2010 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

First of all, welcome to the depression. Secondly we are not allowed to talk about suicide on this forum. Though I am glad that you are still with us.

It does get better. We have to change the way that we look at things though. Learn to see the beauty in life and the good things and focus on that. I really have a hard time explaining this without sounding harsh. But we have to learn to be happy for others without always thinking of ourselves and our happiness.

Just the other day, my friend's dog had puppies. I am so happy about that. They aren't my puppies, but they are hers. And it brought me joy. So we have to focus on ourselves less and others more. For the happiness that is. I dont' mean getting wrapped up in somebody elses life, but to just be happy for them.

I am not saying that you are selfish, you are not. You just want to be happy. But consider other things in life, nature, birds, flowers, pleasant natural things. Embrace the beauty of life.

Counseling is so helpful with this. I think if you went, you would see that your life is not as bad as you think. When we are depressed, everything seems bleak. Medication migth even be the route for you. So get ahold of your doc and see what they can do.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/30/2010 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen.

i know it doesnt seem much, there is more behind the scenes then i posted, but i always feel selfish anyway.

i have tried a few different medications, and found that one really did help me, i will try to go back on it.

i have a few goals set to try and keep me going, but sometimes i feel i run out of energy to see the point to them.
congrats on your friends puppies :) my brothers pregnant girlfriend just got a puppy, and i love her as much as the girlfriend, the puppy can make me happy, as do a few things, but the smiles just tuck the problems away to mainfest, as i have big problems with venting, and tend to bottle up, and explode.

thank you for your thoughts, i will make a list of things that get me smiling, and the happy things and focus on them for a while, thank you again,

lilbro
Posted 5/30/2010 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
eyes Hi libro. I'm 62 and have battled depression (not suffered-depression is not as strong as I am). That said I have been taking antidrpressants for over 30 yrs. Depression can really dominate your life-if you let it. January 14, 2009 I suffered a spinal cord injury followed by surgery and a 26 day hospital and 5 1/2 mo in a nursing home. Even though I now have RSD my life is so much better. First thing I did was stop drinking. Alcohol (I'm sure you know) is a depressant. I'm really understanding how you feel. Please know this is a wonderful site and has lots of caring, compassionate members who just want to help you. I hope you'll see a dr and get some meds that will help. Don't feel bad about taking meds-depression is a tough disease to control. I know you'll bounce right back. As Karen put it (so well) take interest in others. It will help so much. Take care, Donna turn smilewinkgrin
Posted 5/30/2010 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Lilbro,

It sounds like you have it all there, you just have to learn to live it. I am sure that you have many more problems than you posted. But try not to let them get to you. You are not selfish for wanting to be happy. Life is short, live it to the fullest. Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/30/2010 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Libro,

I've heard that a lot & I have to say I don't think that it's usually true that "things" get better. Perhaps I've even said it out of habit myself, but that's just not how life works.

Our circumstances tend to fluctuate a lot. And there are a lot of rough things in life. There are mean, selfish people. There are horrible sicknesses, injuries, disasters. Life is not easy. What I do firmly believe can get better is how we deal with those things. Instead of focusing on the difficult things & disappointments in life, we learn to focus on the helpful people & the good things. Sometimes we learn to make better choices -- ending relationships with negative influences in our lives & surrounding ourselves with supportive people instead, replacing destructive behaviors with healthy ones, changing what we say & think about ourselves/others/our lives. And those things do make a real difference.

My own depression has gotten quite a bit better. Is everything perfect now? No, not by a long shot. I'm losing my home. I'm totally broke. And I'm physically very sick (they've now decided I have a benign pituitary tumor). And in the past those things would have thrown me into a deep depression. But now I focus on the wonderful people in my life. that I am starting a new job in a few weeks (god willing). that I will be better able to afford my new home. and that at least the test for spinal tb came back negative.

Times are still tough. But I have gotten stronger. And the people around me are much more supportive than the people I used to listen to.

Hope that helps! Feel better!
frances
Posted 5/30/2010 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lilbro, I have suffered from depression for the past 15 or so years. I am 64. I am about to exprierice a big change in my life. My 36 yr old son will be moving out of our house. This is the first time in my life I have ever had to live alone. Of course I am scared. But I am not going to let it get the best of me. To let you know what has happened in my life I have been divorced 27 yrs. never thought I could get through it but I survived. Raised my 2 sons. My mother who I never got along with came to live with us.She was sick and so I had a caregiver for her during the day and I had the nightime duty in addition to working full time and raising kids. I have had cancer, have very bad asthma and this past year had very serious colon surgery. But I am here in my life now and all those things are behind me. I guess what I am trying to say to you is that we all have our ups and downs. It is hard work but sometimes we just have to roll  with the punches. I'm not saying it is easy. But if you keep a positive attitude you will go much further. Also, if you have a med that has worked for you why not try it again. You may benefit from some therapy. I have a strong faith and that carries me so much in the hard times. Nothing comes easy to any of us, we have to work at making life work for us. My grandmother used to always say tomorrow will be a better day. So I am saying to you tomorrow will be a better day. Try to focus on the good things you have in your life. Please post again and let us know how you are managing. I know you can do it. And you have lots of great friends here.

Aurora

Posted 5/30/2010 11:54 PM (GMT 0)
Frances,

You are looking at the positives in your life and that is what is going to get you through. You do have a lot going on right now, but all you can do is take this one day at a time, and it sounds like you are doing just that. Wonderful for you. Keep on keeping on sweetie. Know that we are all thinking about you and we really do care. I am glad that your tb test came back negative. And I am sorry about the tumor, but so happy it wasn't malignant. Best wishes to you Frances.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))), Karen
Posted 5/31/2010 3:48 AM (GMT 0)
dear Frances, and Aurora,

thank you very much for your words, and i am sorry for your bads, so so very inspired about the way you can both get through, by looking on the goods. today is a brighter day, both the weather here, and for me, i have been on the phone with a freind for around an hour, and all she has made me do is laugh. if life was more like that, i think everyone could be happy.

thank you all, tomorow will be a better day, because im going to make the effort today.

i know its never easy, but now with the help of your hope, it will be easier.

lilbro
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