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What if it's just the littlest things?

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Posted 6/13/2010 4:29 AM (GMT 0)
So, I can't help but wonder about this...

A lot of people are affected by depression because they have gone through tragic events leading up to it.  But ...what if you're affected by...the littlest things?

Things that shouldn't make you cry, but they do.

I feel as though the littlest comment a person will say to me now makes me feel as though I'm going to cry at any given moment and that life isnt worth it.  My friend will ignore me for a girl at school who's like "perfect" and i feel lonely and stupid. 

Its like things come at me, and my brain filters it to be bad.  I dont think my brains doing the right thing.  I think its doing the wrong thing.  And i dont know why its doing that...

Like...i get really sad when my best friend and this new girl will decide at lunch to isolate themselves from me so that they can talk about things i "cant handle"...watever the hell that means.

And sometimes...when girls at my school want to talk to each other by themselves...they'll look at me and say "Um...can u leave?? Like now?"  and immediatly i feel like i do nothing in this world thats important...and dont need to be here.

Just the littlest things can make me feel like i need to be out of this world...cuz people dont need me.  Why am i like that??  I know I'm a teenager, and lots will think its a high school phase but... how long is a phase??.  I'm in need of so many answers and i cant get any...

I feel like nowadays because i cant be of any use of people, i try and volunteer.  Which is a good thing rite? But...im volounteering for it because subconcsiously i feel like i want to do something in this world that useful if im gonna be stuck in it.  Not because i find it exciting...because i cant be of any use to my own friends, my own family...anyone.

But getting back to the point...why are the littlest things...bothering me?

-Please leave some comments

 thanks

Suzy Nell <3

 

Posted 6/13/2010 6:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Suzy

You are like a lot of females my darling girl .............very sensitive. I am the same way that is why I know what is wrong with you. Don't worry about those *****y girls at school, in another couple of years you'won't even remember them or their names. That happens with best friends, that is they find a new best friend but want to keep you on a string, so don't fall for it, don't be available when they DO want to include you in their conversations.............when they think you can handle it.

I remember when my daughter was 13 and she had started high school and the school she was going to took their intake from all of the surrounding primary schools and so there were lots of new girls to meet and befriend. She had befriended this girl from one of the other schools and things were going okay I thought, but then this girl had a party and she didn't invite my daughter Cassandra. Well Cassandra was inconsolable and didn't want to go back to school because they would be all talking about the party. But you know she got over it, she moved on and made other friends but I'll admit it was hard for her. What I am trying to say Suzy is it might be time to find a new best friend as it seems that the other girls have made it so that you don't fit in anymore. But if I were you I wouldn't want to fit in with them, you say it is your "best friend" but do you think she is acting like a "best friend"?

I think volunteering is great, you will get a good name within the school too, is the volunteering outside of school? You will have a good reputation as a being a kind and considerate girl regardless of where it is.

Keep posting and let me know how you are going, I probably haven't been of much help but try and keep positive and remember most of all you are a great and much loved member of society

You are a very important member of your community and especially the HW community, even if you don't feel like it right now, believe me you are too important to just fade away. Have you spoken to your doctor yet?
Posted 6/13/2010 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
HI Suzy,

don't let these girls get to you. They could be jealous, and when they are, they are unkind. Just do your own thing and I am sure that you will make new friends.

I am so happy that you are volunteering. That is a wonderful thing to do and so gratifying. You will find that the good feeling that you get is wonderful and you wont need the "so called" friends.

It hurts when your friends turn their back on you. And it hurts when they don't include you. But who nees them? Not you! You don't deserve to be treated that way and these people are useless to you. They just bring down your self esteem. So surround yourself with good people. People that appreciate you for who you are. And that is a wonderful human being.

Keep your chin up my friend. Things will get better.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/13/2010 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Thanks for your replies, i wasn't at a very good point yesterday.  I think the hardest part about this all is, de-ttaching ...that "friend"  of mine knows so much about me that  i feel like i want to take it all back.  I dont want her to know about personal things that i only tell friends who i think can help me.  But i told her ...when she was my friend..

My counsellor told me to remember that throughout high school, people are going to change, and she changed a lot.  She used to have a nice side, a side that didnt judge, she wasnt moody, she wasnt always a ***** when things didnt go her way.

But it happens i guess. 

And to Harrington 49, thanks so much for ur reply, I hope u and ur daughter cassandra are doing well :) ....And, i haven't seen my doctor, but my counsellor did ask if i'd recently gotten blood tests, and i actually did a few weeks ago based on a skin irritation and those came out fine but...she asked me if i would be able to go get a check up...but...you see, my parents like knowing where i am all the time and...i dont feel like telling them just yet what im going through just because im simply not ready.  So going to see my doctor would be a little...tough...

And Karen, thanks for ur reply as well :) Lately ive been trying to switch friends...my friend who i went through elementary school with (grade 1-7) actually is recovering from depression herself...and my two other friends from elementary have decided to all see each other again, since we havent really connected since the whole depression thing with my friend.  It's funny since we still all go to the same school , yet we never really hung out too much. (300 kids only in my high school! So thats saying a lot..)

:) Anyways  thanks againn for ur responses!!

SuzyNell J :)

Posted 6/13/2010 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi SuzyNell,

You sound so much better today. I am truly happy about that. It is hard when you open up to somebody and then you become distant and you wonder if they are going to tell other people about what you said. I guess a good rule of thumb is not to tell people things that you don't want other people to know. Especially if you don't know that person very well. That is what is so good about a counselor, everything that you say is kept confidential. The forum is good for that too. Because we really don't know eachother and we can open up and spill our guts. Which we need from time to time. And there is something therapeudic about writing things down. It helps me anyway.

I hope that you have a wonderful evening. Thanks for posting and letting us know how things are going. Take care.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/14/2010 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Suzy

Yes I agree with Karen, you do sound much better today. I can only repeat what Karen has said, something to keep as a rule for yourself for your whole life is "Only tell anyone what you want them to know", that is in case they tell others who you didn't want to know. I know sometimes you feel so comfortable with a person and you do "spill your guts" so to speak and nine times out of ten it will come back to bite you. Life is hard sometimes I know.

Suzy, actually my daughter Cassandra and I are going through something very tough at the moment and she has cut off all communication with me. It is especially hard as I can't see her to speak to her and try and sort it out, she lives in Sweden and I am in Australia. I have tried to ring her and she won't answer the phone. So I am really down over this, actually I am totally gutted by her actions. However, life goes on and I am trying to live my life as normally as possible but I do feel like my right arm is missing.

You will have to tell me about your volunteering, what do you do and how often do you go? I am really interested. Keep posting Suzy.
Posted 6/15/2010 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi again,

Harrington49, i am so sorry to hear about that, i hope you and your daughter can work things out.  I'm actually helping with this project at school to fly to Uganda, Africa to help teenage girls who can't afford many essentials for keeping themselves healthy as a woman (such as pads...unfortunatly, some teenage girls in africa can't afford them and cant go to school)...and i've been thinking about volounteering for this KidsSafe program once i turn 16...its basically a program that helps bring kids around my area to do activities that their parents cant really afford (such as tutoring sessions, playing outdoors, or going to see movies)  some of these kids have gone through a really tough childhood...

So those are just a couple of things I'm interested in continuing in the next year :)

I'm really glad you both replied, for now im doing okay, just studying for exams... :S four more to go until friday! :S

Anyways hope all goes well for u guys :)

Thanks again!

Suzy Nell

Posted 6/15/2010 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
Suzy,

I think it is great that you are helping with that project. I bet that it really helps you to feel better when you do so. What you are doing is a wonderful thing.

Good luck on your exams. Try to study but relax some too.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/15/2010 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
all the best with them too, jamie.

h49. hang in there. my heart is bleeding. i hope she makes contact soon. here for you, jamie.
Posted 6/15/2010 5:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Suzy

That sounds fantastic, what a great cause for the girls in Africa and what a great attitude you have for one so young and you're thoughtful and kind too, the whole package. I think by helping the kids in your neighbourhood is great also and good for you too.

Keep that pretty head down and study hard sweetheart, I know you'll do well. You sound really good too. Let us know how you go in your exams when you get the results.

Thanks for being so nice, I hope Cassandra and I can resolve our problems soon but at this stage it isn't looking too bright.



JAMIEE:  You sure are a sweetie, thanks for your kind thoughts and wishes.
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