What to do when your dating someone who is depressed?

hello, ive been dating this girl for  more then four months right now who suffers from major depression and extreme anxiety.when we stared she was in a really hard time extremely suicidal but shes getting better slowly now shes suicidal sometimes and no where as intense as before.we have become best friends or so i think because her moods are up and down on a good day she loves me and on a bad day she just says I don't know.this is making me go trow an emotional rolor coaster that im not used to.i want to be with her because i care about her and get along really well and we share a strong conection and trust each other.Now i dont kow what to do because if i keep dating her will she get better  and if yes will she then just see me as a friend more then a partener.im all confused someone please help. if you need more info please ask dont hold back

yeah she has been on many different medications but the would keep switching it becasue everytime she would get these major anxiety meltdown attacks and then she would go see her doctor and he would be like oh man well you never should have been on that dose here try this...and she get therapie once an a while but she never keep a therapist for more then one session because she doesnt ''like'' him or her for stupid reasons like he has a lispe or something.and then she complains that therapie doesnt work when she wont give it time or a chance.

Hi Stanley,
Firstly, your girlfriend is very lucky to have you,who is loving her and supporting her through the troubled times. I believe the first step towards helping her has been taken and that is her having a friend and a lover.
She needs to find a therapist who she can continue with as jumping from one to another will only be exhausting for her and wouldn't do much good,possibly you could tell her to try and stick to one for more than one session,and try to work it out.
Her negative thoughts might be triggered by something,maybe you could try to keep a track of that.
You are doing a great job by supporting her and taking care of her,your support would surely make it better for her.
But she will have to also try to handle it independently as the more she would grow Dependant on you it would be harder for her in later times. She won't be healing but forgetting about her troubles. Once she is stable you could convince her for a regular counselling so she can get herself stronger.
With your love and support I'm sure you both will go a long way.


Take Care of her and yourself,
Annie

That is what we are all here for, to support eachother.

Glad that you have joined us.

Hugs, Karen

Hi Stanley

If you keep supporting her the way you are, encouraging her and loving her and you can manage to keep on top of things then you should be okay. But if you find yourself being pulled down then I would probably speak to the doctor as well but I would leave that as the last resort.

You are doing a great job and like I said, she is lucky to have you but be careful not to suffocate her, let her do some things on her own, her way because if you make her too dependent on you, then that will surely affect you as well.

I hope I have been of some help and have encouraged you a little. Keep posting.

Hi Stanley,

I am in a 15 year relationship with someone that I WISH was as understanding and caring as you. My husband wouldn't dream of posting here to get advice on supporting me. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you! From your posts, it sounds like she may still be looking for the right med combination and a good therapist- both extremely important. Especially if she has mentioned suicide. 

My advice to you would be to continue to encourage her to get well and find a dr. who can help.  And remember that people with depression, anxiety, mood swings, can be very unpredictable. If you get upset when she is down, it may cause her to feel more depressed. Maybe when you see her in that state of mind, give her a big hug, tell her you care about her and you are here if she needs you and then give her some space. Take a walk or whatever you like to do and remind yourself that this is a real problem and that you are not the cause of it nor can you fix it. If she is open to the idea, maybe suggest she find a therapist and go a few times and then you go for an appointment too so that you can understand what she is going thru.

I hope that everything works out for the two of you. You sound like a great person! Keep us posted on how things are going.

Take care,

DK

Has she been checked for bipolar? My sister is like that and she is bipolar and has depression.

The best thing that you can do is just be there when she needs you. Be yourself. Don't obsess over things. Go with the flow.

Hugs, Karen