No work, fealing worthless!

Hey Husbandofill, welcome to the forums. I can't say that I have experience with this situation, but I think I might have a suggestion or two on something you could to that wouldn't be a strain on your body and also not a job that employers will pick females first. Being that you said you dont want to strain your body anymore I would assume you have been in either a trade or factory work before the collection agency. If you have experience in a trade then that might be a possibility as a supervisor of some kind, a less physical job. The same could be followed for factory situations, also consider that there is more than backbreaking labor or secretary work/data entry/cubical monkey jobs. Review your skills, review your interests...sometimes having an interest is more motivating and effective in making you successful in an endeavor than starting out with a skill. Widen your options, try not to let the unfortunate present circumstances blind you to your potential and the possibilities and opportunities that you have available and can MAKE available. Not to sound like the guy from Billy Madison...hehe but You can do it! Hehe sorry I had to. Ask God for some help, guidance, and patience until you find what is waiting for you.


Christian

Hi Husbandofill,

I am sorry that your wife has uc. This must be very hard for her. I am happy that you are coming on the forum to get her and yourself some help.

I am sure that you have felt you have exhausted all facets of this, but maybe you haven't. Keep the thinking cap on and I am sure something will come to you. I do hope that you find a job that you will like. Is there anything else opening in your employment? Are you sure that you have called everybody? I hope that you find something soon, something so that you will be able to keep insurance for your wife.

Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Hugs, Karen

As for the running out of people to call, my employer could care less. He is very rude, and only cares if you are bringing in money. Which I am doing, just not as well as he wants. I have no clue really. I had no sales experience, he knew this at the time of hire. I was under assumption that the position was to maintain client relationships. He is very elusive with the details, I don't feel secure working here at all. I don't feel like I am treated correctly and or by basic common human standpoints. It really is for someone who is willing to sell their mothers body parts for money type. Which I am far far from.

My main hurt, is that I have no one to go to. You would think I can go to my wife, but I can't. I have tried to hold the conversation with her so often I just rather mope around and feel like poop than try to get her to understand. She is extremely selfish. In her eyes we need to be set for her internship, nothing else. Last time I was in between jobs I was gradually searching for a good fit, she was panicking. I had a job at a hobby shop making the same amount per hour and happy, she made me take time off for a trip to California since it was the only time she could get the time off. I was fired for asking, since I had only been there for two weeks. I took the job at the collections agency since it was the first one offered, and I couldn't deal with her freaking out. It isn't as if she is getting another job, or asking for more hours at her current.

I feel bad for saying this but I am kind of tired of her selfishness. I worked my bum off at UPS to get us through her college education. We would have never survived if I was working at the same level as her. I understand the idea of supporting my wife, and I do, however it would be nice to be treated on the same level at times. I deserve a break from times too.

Rereading that, I realize my wording can come off a bit harsh. I love my wife. I just am starting to realize she doesn't place our relationship into a lot of her decisions. Sort of as if the gender roles have swapped in our relationship. She is the all going egotistic male that will do anything for something better, and I am the loving women who doesn't care much for how or what type of work is done as long as each other is healthy and happy.

I was brought up by money oriented people. Money was everything. My grandmother adopted me and grew up during the depression, so her sole interest was having money, granted she never spent it. Only on bills and food, etc. But it made me insecure if I didn't have money. I am not that way anymore. But this may be something that is stemming your wife's insecutities with moeny. To me now, it is the root of all evil. So that was a drastic change. But I couldn't go on worrying about it, so I guess I went the oppisite way with my thinking.

Best of wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen

Had a breakthrough conversation with her over the weekend. Got a lot of things accomplished and off my mind. She listened and took note of a lot of it and we discussed many things that have needed to be out in the open.

We are to work together on the next few months of what will be hell. Once she starts this internship I will be the only one working. She will attempt to assist me in getting better employment. I will assist myself and try to get on a better playing field with my current employer. However, I really do not feel that my time here is wanted, nor appreciated. It is very demeaning and does not make me feel good. Shame since it is a great work environment. Just not a very nice boss. I am thinking he is ready to give the company to someone, so he no longer has to do anything type thing. He has such a poor attitude towards everything. It makes everyone a bit uneased, and stand offish.

I hope to overcome my current funk, depression and move on. I feel like I am developing one of those on off characteristics. I am happy one day but down the next. I can't seem to get at a consistent up mood. I hope that comes soon.

Thanks Karen.

So we had another discussion last night, I let a lot of my feelings out. She listened well and responded to key things here and there. She never really promised anything, though I think she got the idea that I need her to be more of a understanding person. She admitted to not knowing what to do when I come home from a bad day. So that was a big start in the right direction.

I feel if I keep up my honesty with her on my feelings she will take the time to get to know me a bit better. Though we have been together for 6 years, she still doesn't know me like I know her. She tells me this on a regular basis. With work at a steady decline and the fear of being fired on a daily basis, she needs to know how to cheer me back up.

I have learned from our time together how to make her day bright again after a bad time at work, which there aren't as many of with her job, but it still happens from time to time. Even if I don't get it right the first time I keep trying, until I get a smile.

As for work, these are the bosses words from yesterdays little fiasco. "Wow you really got yourself out of that one," as he finally noticed that I have been bringing on new business, "You were swimming with the sharks, so close to the Jaws of Death." Then he finally became aware of the fact that these newer accounts have been bringing in money. " Holy Crap, and your bringing in the money on top of it. Boy you may have just saved your job. For now."

Pretty motivational stuff right there. Either he does this with all of those who have not been in the office for some time, or he really is going to fire me shortly.

To be honest, thinking like him, it makes sense, bring in a fresh person from now and then with a fresh attitude to call the same folks I just got done calling to join up. Same person calling a business that said no a month later has no meaning for a company that revolves solely around bringing in money. A new guy every few months to make the same calls until they join, perfect.

Oh I found the old craigslist posting in my deleted box. I thought I would share it with you to demonstrate the missed communication on his part.

Client Representative
Accounts Receivable Firm seeks Client Representative. This is a full time in office position. Duties include servicing existing clients with an emphasis on expanding client base. Must be detailed oriented and goal driven, able to worth independently within a team environment. Must have good phone, computer and organizational skills. Experience preferred but will train. Salary DOE with monthly performance bonuses. Apply in person 491 Court Street downtown Reno. Summit Services.

Anyone else see it say anything about sales?

Quick update.

Not too sure how much longer I can milk out the little work I have left at the collection agency, but I am going to make the most of it. I got this far in the month by fluke, since the receptionist took last week off, but now I am back to searching desperately for people to contact.

There isn't a whole lot out there either, in terms of other employment. I have been around the city in search for something anything stable-like. A place to work without the insecurity of being let go would be such a pleasant thing. I feel that I might have a better grasp at trying to get something if I was not working, but that can not happen since we need the little funds that I do bring in from the current job.

I am honestly thinking of looking into going solo to make some extra money. Mowing lawns or something in those regards. I really don't care as long as I can keep us out of the negative and fed.

My wife started her internship last week as well. She is working an 8-4:30 shift at the VA and then from 5-8 at her regular job m-w-f as well as sat and sun. So with her pretty drained of energy the entire time we have been a bit closer when together since we rarely see each other.

Things have been smooth for the current moment, but I still have that fear of losing my job and losing a lot of the other things that follow when out of money.

So....

I have made it to the next step in ridding myself of the much unneeded BS of the collection agency. I have successfully established and completed an interview with a company for a position that I feel I can contribute to. This job, if acquired, would most likely be somewhere I can grow and become an asset. I felt that the manager, as well as the main office assistant were extremely nice people and would make working there an enjoyment rather than a nuisance. I have both my fingers and toes crossed that they decide that I am the number one candidate and call me on Monday, as I am not too sure how long I have left at the collection agency.

According to my boss, at the collection agency, I need a miracle to save my job. So with those words I would not be surprised if this is my last few days with or without a new job.

Otherwise I am off to Craigslist, selling things o make rent and ends meets until I can get another job.

Thanks Karen.

I will look into that Kijiji site, sounds like I could broaden my audience there. I have lots of Remote Control stuff of relatively high value that I have been liquidating.

As for my wife, she is doing really well. She has been experimenting with a new probiotic and has been feeling really well. Her UC hasn't been in this clear of a Remission in quite some time.

So things are looking up.

I will have to thank this forum as well as you Karen for being here to listen to my words and give advice, love, as well as wisdom in return.

I am sorry that your morning got off to a rocky start.  I hope that the rest of the day goes by better for you. 

I know that you are biding your time with this job.  But try to hang in there until something else arrives.  Maybe try to have a different view of things and see if that helps.  Pretend it is the first day.  Everything is new and you are starting over.  Sometimes that helps me.  It makes me think I am viewing things for the first time.  I hope that this makes sense.  One of my coping skills.  I can do that with a tv show that I have seen before and I notice things that I didn't notice the first time around and it doesn't even seem like a rerun.  lol... 

I hope that things are going well at home.  Have you thought any about counseling to help you cope with your wife's depression?  I think I mentioned this before.  It would really help you to understand her.  And I feel that you could use some support with your own issues of work and all.  It sounds like you are getting a little down.  I don't want to see that happen.  You need to keep your head above water.

I hope that your day gets better.  Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen

Thank you for what you said.  You brought tears to my eyes, but happy tears.  It sounds as though you are really busy and are struggling to keep things going.  Take this one day at a time.  You will get there eventually.  It sounds like your wife is really trying hard.  I hope all works out for you.

I am so happy that the forum is helping you.  This is what it is all about.  People supporting others.  You are a kind person and I can tell that you really love your wife and I think she really loves you too.  Between the two of you, you will be strong and you will make it.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

Try not to let this get you down.  If it is meant to be it will.  I know how hard it is to get a job these days.  Keep your mind open to other prospects.  I am still praying for you.  Like I said, if it is meant to be it will.  Try to think positive.  You have just as good of a chance as the other applicants. 

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen