New Guy Age 19

Hello. I just want to say thank you for the reply.

But like you, we do both think the same. I have in the past thought about ending it all. Yet, to me it seems selfish also if we don't have life then what do we really have right?

Depression is a horrible feelin and not having anyone there through it only makes it worse. Yeah alchol and weed may be a simple and quick fix but when your sober it all comes back again... In my opinion I believe you need to figure out the real problem, not to blame other people but try to realize exactly why you blame them or is it really yours? It may be denial about you being wrong.

I just really would like to hear that you don't want to end it now, and if there is anything i could say that would help.

Lost,
Wanted to welcome you & say I'm sorry for what you're going through. Dealing with depression is a long journey. I wish there was a way to just knock it out of your system (there's currently one drug being researched in the US -- I think it's in Phase 3 -- that is showing promise of doing that, but it's not approved yet in US or any other Western country), but so far it just means continuing to choose positive behavior & thoughts and then just continuing to do so for many many months until things start to turn around. I've been where you are & I do understand how hopeless everything seems but they don't have to stay like that.
Keep eating healthy, keep exercising, keep making positive choices instead of negative ones. And if you haven't already done so, go see a generalist to see if there might be something medical contributing to your depression.

I totally understand what you say about talking about things making them worse. I know that was the case for me. Seeing a talk therapist made things so much worse. I did see an art therapist for a while & that did help some. But mostly it was just always making the positive choice, even when I really didn't feel like it. After a few years, now I'm starting to rebuild friendships & make new friends. I've been through some really rough times (mostly due to the huge cost of getting treatment -- not always the right treatment -- and the related debt from that), but things are finally turning around. I've lost my home, but have a fresh start at making new memories. I lost my job, but found another one (over a year later) that pays 40% more. I lost a lot of friends -- and some of them will never come back -- but I've found new ones who understand me & stand by me through thick & thin. All that was SOOOOOO hard to go through at the time, but now that I'm coming out of all those messes I feel so much lighter. Like you, I am still haunted sometimes by my past (including ongoing physical issues related to damage caused when I was young) but I have so many happy experiences that my past affects me much less than it used to. One thing someone here suggested that really helped me a ton was to just have it out with my abuser. I screamed & yelled & cursed & blamed at length. And when that wasn't enough, I went back 2 days later & screamed some more. After a third time, I finally got out all those things that had been eating away at me for so long. It was a huge weight off of me. The flashbacks still come at times, but the heavy weight that I had all the time, always feeling like somehow I still had to keep all these secrets, was gone. Maybe that could help you. idk.

Good luck with everything. Hang in there -- things really can get better.

peace,
frances

I don't mean this offensively, but I think a change in the attitude you have about your depression is necessary to "make the pain stop" as you said. If you look at it from every single negative angle, of course you're still going to feel bad. I'm speaking from personal experience on that one. I'm 20. Had depression since I was 16. And the way your looking at it in my opinion is less than helpful. Easier said than done to try and fix that since it seems like you think nothing is helping, but I changed the way I looked at having depression...went from feeling sorry for myself and hating life because I didn't feel happy to accepting that this is something a lot of people deal with and life doesn't just quit when someone is depressed...
I know it's hard to think positive when so much bad stuff is going on in your life, but not everything is bad. Maybe think of it that way. Focusing on the bad...is going to make you feel bad. Pretty simple concept. Find something that went right...and at least for a minute you don't feel so bad.

--Che

Im sorry but the only thing I got from that is the very thing I'm against.  I use to be a blind Christin until I found out what the words where really saying. Please be careful of religions they can steer you wrong. There are many different ones so I cant reflect on them all. At the moment I'm called an agnostic which is not know if something is there or not. There are not enough facts to prove it. If you wish to debate me on religion go to the posted link. you will learn many thing no matter what your religion is :D Thanks for trying

We are not to post links to other forums, you can email the link though.  Thanks for understanding.  Also we are not to be discussing religion on the forum.  It is posted in the forum rules.  Thank you...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/6/2010 3:48:39 PM (GMT-6)