Hey, I'm Will. I'm 18. I guess I've been depressed for a good amount of my life now. It didn't really get bad 'til maybe 6 months ago. I stopped feeling any joy in life, no strong feelings or sensations. I guess I began to understand that all there is is my senses and my consciousness. Nothing else has any significance to me. And all the stimuli world has to offer already known too well. Like y'know how you know how something is going to taste? You can imagine it, because you've already eaten it? That's I guess been my feelings on everything; predictable.
I don't full know the relevance of all that, because, ultimately, the point is I no longer have any real interest in life, nothing to upset or make me happy ever. I guess the point of all that was to demonstrate the lengths my depression brought me. I was willing to risk everything I had and will have for no real purpose other than escape.
As of now I'm on summer vacation. I spent 6 weeks sober doing internships and studying at colleges in other parts of the state. But I'm back in town. Drunk off whiskey as a I write this. almost everyday. Probably a phase. I know I'm not really addicted to anything.
Anyways, thanks for reading if you actually read all that. I just sorta felt like being heard. I have friends, but none I would want to talk to about
this sort of thing. I don't really need any contact a counselor sort of advice; if that's what I decide to do I'll do it. Otherwise feel free to say whatever, whatever you think about
what I wrote, questions, how you relate, advice on how to work on feeling better.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/9/2010 7:25:26 AM (GMT-6)