Hardest thing (it all starts with a bad choice)

Hi
I confessed to my boyfriend about not being in love with him for the first five months of our relationship. It was hard but I guess he understood what I wanted to say. He's hurt and feels betrayed. But I had to do it if I wanted to give my 100% to my relation if it remains or it doesn't. I love him a lot and hiding this thing from him was making me really depressed.
I dunno if he would leave me or no. But it's given a big blow to our relation.
I feel better now that if he leaves me he has the right to and I owed him the truth if I wanted to be with him in future. I couldn't be in a relation whose beginning was based on unsure feelings which he didn't know about.

I'm scared

Hi Kitt,
I had a breakup with my long term boyfriend in Dec. my boyfriend back than my best friend took care of me and well we started being together.I tried my best to not show him that I wasn't completly over my ex,I felt maybe he knew.
Anyhow I fell for him after 5 months of our relation. We are in a long distance. He's hurt. It's just I never faked anything but I was very unsure about my feelings. He asked me if I loved him back than or no,and I replied honestly that back than I wasn't sure about my feelings.
Now he says how does he believe me that now I'm in love with him. We been together for 10 months now....

Hi

Well it was always a double headed arrow for me. Not telling him made me feel like I was cheating him and was being with him without him knowing the truth,telling him I have risked the entire existence of my relationship. I love him alot. And there are more than 90% chances he's going to leave me for he says he has lost all the faith he had in me. My honesty has caused him a lot of hurt and pain and makes him feel I faked 5 months of our relationship.
Which isn't true. I didn't. I would just be unsure and confused. On the other end telling him was only caz I love him so much that I wanted our relationship to be based on honesty.
I dunno what to say anymore,I keep quite when he blames me for faking things. He has the right to be angry with me but I can't change what I felt and how I feel. And now I can't even question him if it changes how he feels for me.
I met my doctor today as I was feeling breathless,he said I'm suffering from continual panic attacks. I didn't tell this to anyone as I don't want everyone to think I'm a weak person. But the truth is that I'm.

Hi Annie,

It looks like you are punishing yourself a lot right now. Take this one day at a time, he will get over this. I promise. And if he doesn't, then maybe he isn't the right person for you. Give him time to digest this. And like Kitt mentioned, don't bring it up.

I hope that you are having a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen

Try to get out and do somethings. Quit punishing yourself. You are a good person and you need to realize that. We all make mistakes. Keep posting as I think this is good for you.

Hugs, Karen