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Posted 10/22/2010 1:03 AM (GMT 0)

I am 16 years old and i go to high school now and i am in grade 11... I am at the point now that i dont know what to do anymore and i need someone to listen to me and just help me.. Last year i tried to get help and that and all i did was made everybody in my family to hate me.. I had the cops after me and all kinds of people after me... It just feels always like it's my fault and I shouldnt be around much any more. I hate where i live my parents are always mean to me.... I hate them constantly yelling at me and saying that its always my fault and them awlays calling me names and that... I hate how they treat me and there always calling me crazy and i just cant take any of it anymore.. Im having so much trouble at school and im trying to do something that will help me do better and my parents just becomes angry at me and im just angry at myself and they make it seem like its my fault all the time and making them look like tha bad guy!!! I just hate living like this and i try to ignore all of it but i cant it just hurts day and day and i just hate my life.............. much longer could you tell me what to do because i really need help!! shakehead

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/22/2010 4:55:44 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/22/2010 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindsay,
How are you dear? So much hatred and pain at 16,isnt really good for you. It's a bad phase and you should allow it to pass. I know how it feels when our loved ones mock our state of mind. But you have to understand that it's not always possible for people to accept that their loved ones are in pain. Give them their time and space and you work on your own.
If you are unhappy about where you are divert your energies on your studies and join some gym or a dance or some class that will help you stay fit.
Do you have any friends or friend who supports you, if there is he/she can help you when you are low. If you don't than you can post here. Everyones a friend.
Don't hate your parents, they have taken care of your tantrums when you were young now you got to Tc of them.
It will be ok soon. You could meet the counsellor at school they might be able to help you out better.

Don't freak out. It's ok to feel the Way you do just try not to let it consume always try and think of something good.

Hugs,
Annie.
Posted 10/22/2010 10:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindsay,

I am glad that you have joined us here at HealingWell. This is a wonderful forum.

I agree with Annie, talk to a school counselor. It is free and confidential. You can lay things on the table and take a good look at everything from a new perspective.

Being a teen is hard. And I know that it gets better, but it takes time. So be good to yourself and heal.

Know that everybody here cares about you.

I am sorry I had to edit your post, but we aren't allowed to discuss self harm here.

Take care my friend

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/22/2010 1:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindsay...I was very touched by your post. I believe that it's because I've been in your situation before. Lots of times people dont really understand depression and they believe that you should just be able to "GET OVER IT". Unfortunately that is not true. No one TRULY understands unless they experience it. I am very sorry for the pain that you feel and the feelings of hopelessness. But please believe me when I say, THINGS WILL GET BETTER. I just became a member yesterday and already I feel so much better. Now I know that there are people that struggle with the same issues as me and I no longer feel so alone. It no longer matters to me that pepole that do not suffer as I do don't understand an judge me. I know that here I have a voice and I have support from people that truely care. Please continue to come here for support as I will.
Posted 10/22/2010 7:51 PM (GMT 0)

krissymichelle said...
Hi Lindsay...I was very touched by your post. I believe that it's because I've been in your situation before. Lots of times people dont really understand depression and they believe that you should just be able to "GET OVER IT". Unfortunately that is not true. No one TRULY understands unless they experience it. I am very sorry for the pain that you feel and the feelings of hopelessness. But please believe me when I say, THINGS WILL GET BETTER. I just became a member yesterday and already I feel so much better. Now I know that there are people that struggle with the same issues as me and I no longer feel so alone. It no longer matters to me that pepole that do not suffer as I do don't understand an judge me. I know that here I have a voice and I have support from people that truely care. Please continue to come here for support as I will.

Hi Krissymichelle....Thank you for replying to my message.... I know things will get better and that and I hope so... I have no-one in my family anymore my mom and my dad are mean to me... my family are not that nice I cant talk to anyone in my family.. My moms side everybody hates each other and then my dads side everboy hates everybody and it really hard to live with that.. I really, really want to get some help and I'm scared to get help because of my parents... Im scraed they'll kick me out like they did to me last year and I know they will do it again.. I'm always lying and pretending to be someone and I'm always taking my parents side so they wont be mad at me....... Im always blaming it on the school and other things beside home so they wont be mad at me... and be mean to me.. the school is trying to help me and I cant let them help me...:( :S How can you just ignore all this?? Can I talk to u ... cry

Posted 10/22/2010 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
I'm happy to see you are seeking help.   First, I'd like to say that their is not a license required to have children.  Many parents are just not qualifies to raise a child.  Please do not be mad at your parents.  Believe it or not... they are doing the best they can.  Anger toward your parents can lead to more depression.  

I lived with an obsessively complaining mother.  I became depressed at age 17... I saw it coming and did not know what to do either.   Help came from outside my home from people I trusted.   Did not expect help from your parents... they just do not know better.  

Coming to this website is good start for help.  People here will support you.   I believe (and I hope you are ok with this) you need to turn to God.  We need a high power to get us through difficult time.  We need to pray.

Try this as an exercise... (remember you are doing this for yourself....)  When your parent say something mean to you ...say as little as possible... and inside send them Gods love.   Say to your self :" God send my mother/father your divine love... and lord send me your power."  Try it... the idea is to except them the way they are... they will not likely change anyway... But you are changing already... you are going to make a change of "perception".  You will simply see the situation differently.  Best wishes .... write as often as you wish.  JC

  

Posted 10/22/2010 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindsey,
I'm glad you posted. I'll try to write more later; I'm off to a meeting right now but wanted to post one resource that you can maybe use:

nineline.org/ or 1-800-999-9999 That is the Covenant House Nine Line. They work with teens in crisis & can help you get some emergency resources to get you through this really tough time. Know that just like 1-800-SUICIDE, that if you threaten to take your life they are mandated by law to report that to the police and your parents. But if you are looking for help to deal with SEVERE depression (feel really awful but don't have any plans to end your life right now) or major family issues (other than abuse), they are wonderful people who can help connect you with some great resources.

Hope that helps. hang in there & I'll try to post more when I have a bit more time.

peace,
frances
Posted 10/22/2010 8:45 PM (GMT 0)

Frances_2008 said...
Hi Lindsey,
I'm glad you posted. I'll try to write more later; I'm off to a meeting right now but wanted to post one resource that you can maybe use:

nineline.org/ or 1-800-999-9999 That is the Covenant House Nine Line. They work with teens in crisis & can help you get some emergency resources to get you through this really tough time. Know that just like 1-800-SUICIDE, that if you threaten to take your life they are mandated by law to report that to the police and your parents. But if you are looking for help to deal with SEVERE depression (feel really awful but don't have any plans to end your life right now) or major family issues (other than abuse), they are wonderful people who can help connect you with some great resources.

Hope that helps. hang in there & I'll try to post more when I have a bit more time.

peace,
frances

Thank you Francis... I will try to call i dont know if i will im scraed to do it....

Posted 10/22/2010 8:50 PM (GMT 0)

JoeCal said...
I'm happy to see you are seeking help.   First, I'd like to say that their is not a license required to have children.  Many parents are just not qualifies to raise a child.  Please do not be mad at your parents.  Believe it or not... they are doing the best they can.  Anger toward your parents can lead to more depression.  

Thank you JC to responding to my email.... I just wanted to ask you a question when your mother was being mean to you and you became depressed what did you do??... I just feel like i have no-one to turn to anymore.. cry   

I lived with an obsessively complaining mother.  I became depressed at age 17... I saw it coming and did not know what to do either.   Help came from outside my home from people I trusted.   Did not expect help from your parents... they just do not know better.  

Coming to this website is good start for help.  People here will support you.   I believe (and I hope you are ok with this) you need to turn to God.  We need a high power to get us through difficult time.  We need to pray.

Try this as an exercise... (remember you are doing this for yourself....)  When your parent say something mean to you ...say as little as possible... and inside send them Gods love.   Say to your self :" God send my mother/father your divine love... and lord send me your power."  Try it... the idea is to except them the way they are... they will not likely change anyway... But you are changing already... you are going to make a change of "perception".  You will simply see the situation differently.  Best wishes .... write as often as you wish.  JC

  

Posted 10/23/2010 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lyndsay,  When my mother would be mean to me ...at first I ended up in screaming fights with her.  In time I realized that was not helping.... she was not going to change.  So I needed to change.  

I simply would think she is just insane, and say very little.... so, I would leave the house and take walks... or stay in my room and focus on my hobbies.... or go hang-out with a friend and "focus on something different".   I did seek help for my depression at the county health clinic.  It was slow but they did help me. 

Oh, at age 20 I moved away... over 1,000 mile away.... Then had some more space to work on myself.... with God's help (of course).            

Likely, you have been around a negative enviroment for years.  We end up with a mind programed with illusion for what is normal.  Its like our brain has a computer virus.  It take sometime to deprogram... and see the world differently.   Just remember to love yourself.... give yourself a break...

One more thing I just remembered... I have a yonger sister... I would get out her coloring books and focus on coloring a page.... this would help me tone out the crazy behavior in the other room.  I hope this helps.  Be well...JC

  

 

Posted 10/23/2010 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks JC... :) i wil try to do what u done..
Posted 10/24/2010 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lyndsy; Go Girl! You can take back your inner power.   You can make the changes that need to be made... its mostly  a change in perception...  Change your focus... don't make your mother's behavior your problem.  and do not judge yourself harshly... you are a divine child of God... Love yourslef...  and do your best to love the insane people around you.   Be Good. JC    
Posted 10/24/2010 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Also Every night that i sleep I'm always having dreams  me and it's one of thoes every night is that normal and I am a sleep walker and i sleep walk evernight i only do this when I'm stressed... I can't sleep much anymore I'm always having trouble sleeping and I don't know what to do I wake up in the middle of the night my heart is pounding from my dreams?? Is this normal...
Lyndsay 123

<Edit - talk of selfharm or harming others even thow it is in a dream is not allowed - sorry. >

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/24/2010 3:11:44 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/24/2010 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there,  sorry for the edit but try to remember you are having dreams and in your case they sound like nightmares so I understand why you have trouble sleeping. 

The  nineline.org/ or 1-800-999-9999 That is the Covenant House Nine Line posted by Frances is a great place to call to talk with someone. 

I would really like to see you be able to find a counselor through school, your Dr. or a community agency.  How about a church group that could help you find the help you need.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 10/25/2010 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Lindsey- I read your first post and I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what advice to give. I still don't but you are in my prayers. Everything will be OK. Have faith.
Posted 10/25/2010 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
Lindsay,
It sounds like you might be experiencing night terrors. Please talk to someone at school and let them help you. I know that you are scared and are afraid of the repercussions but you need to do this for yourself. You are an important person and special. You need to take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Lisa
Posted 10/26/2010 1:23 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know what to do... I'm freaking out and I'm getting help but.. it's just so confusing.. I got my best friend back and now im hiding it and i hate it!! Because of everything that happened last year!! I'm scraed for my parents to find out because i dont knoe how they will react i dont know what to do everything is just so stupid and I just dont know how to be happy and live a normal life anymore!! :( :( :'(
Posted 10/27/2010 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Lindsay.  Im 19 and Ive been dealing with depression for over 8 years and have recently been diagonosed bipolar.  My parents were no help to me either, they never even noticed how upset I always was.  I tried to end my life twice but was kept alive by someoneor something.    At the time that both of these things happened, I was very upset and angry that my attempts had failed; however, now that Ive started to get help--I go to a psychiatrist and a therapist regularly--Im extremely grateful that I am still alive.  My mom was an alcoholic who used to verbally and--for a short period of time, unitl I fought back--physically abuse me.  My dad was never there because he was off having affairs all of the time and he didnt have time for my brother or myslef--I practically raised my brother.  I really wish that I had gotten help when I was in High School and there were free resources.  Please take advantage of what school offers you.  And dont let your parents ruin your relationship with your best friend.  My best friend and her kind and loving family have helped me through so much and I know I wouldnt still be here if it wasnt for her.  Remeber that you always have your friends and you always have people to talk to here who care about what happens to you.  If you need to talk to me just send me an email and Ill be happy to talk.  Stay strong and Ill keep you in my thoughts.

--Courtney

Hi Courtney,

I had to edit your post as we are not allowed to discuss self harm or suicide on this forum.  Thanks for understanding.  It sounds like you have been through a lot, and like you are a wonderful person.

Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/27/2010 8:22:14 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/27/2010 11:11 AM (GMT 0)
My parents were cold, uncaring, should have never had kids, but had 3. When they were mean, I remember being very silent, very angry and then very depressed as I was mad at myself for not being able to speak up against them. In retrospect, I wish I would have put more energy into helping myself, and not brooding about what was going on in the stinking family.

Be brave and do what has been suggested. School counselor can guide you to the proper care. Calling the nineline.org/ or 1-800-999-9999 - the Covenant House Nine Line is a fantastic idea. Don't be afraid. Its a phone call. They can't even see you, and you can always just say thanks, and hang up if you don't like them. But I think you will like them, as they will be trained in talking to people who are upset and need comforting. They wish you no harm. Not judging. Mention the night terrors.

You have mentioned self=harm here a couple times. Don't do that. Believe it or not, you have a fabulous life ahead of you. Understand that if you talk of these things, the ball will start rolling, and they will have to report it, because we all know that selfharm is a big mistake. Then again, that could be a good thing, letting someone know exactly how serious this is.

Bottom line, get help. Don't play with your life. You have everything to live for, have endured a lot, and you can make it.

Keep posting. People are here for you.
Posted 10/27/2010 2:53 PM (GMT 0)

Please, please speak to someone about your feelings and what is going on.  It will take lots of courage but you are a survivor.  They will be able to help you and talk to you about options.  I cannot remember how old you are but you are young and your life is just starting. 

Please let us know how you are.

Lisa

Posted 10/27/2010 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi lisa I am going to the doctor tonight and i will be telling her how i feel and that and i will be seeking for help... Im doing fine at this point.. I will let you know how the doctor appointment went..:)
Thank you Lisa
Drew
Posted 10/28/2010 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Lindsay123,

Good luck at the doctor. Let us know how everything goes.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/28/2010 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen
I went to my doctors last night and I told her everything that is going on and she listened to me and when ever I feel depressed she wants me to all her and she will come to my house and get me and and take me somewhere to talk with her... She sent a ferrel in for me to go see the mental health crises as well...
Posted 10/28/2010 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
That is a good start...Thanks for letting us know. We are here for you to talk as well.
hugs, Lisa
Posted 10/28/2010 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Lyndsay,

Thanks for letting us know how things went. Sounds like a good therapist. Congrats...

Hugs, Karen
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