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Posted 11/7/2010 6:26 AM (GMT 0)
well everytime i think things are getting better they just go down. im tired of things, i dont fit in anywhere, i screw up everything and i am no good at life. i suck at it. only things i have to live for are my daughter and my hubby. if it wasnt for them life wouldnt be worth it. i just found out a manager, one who i never thought would do this, told at least two of my employees that they need to help him get me fired or to quit. *** did i do to make him want to do that.  i admit i am not perfect at my job but to treat me like this is unnecessary. i do my job and i am pretty good at it, even though i am not perfect. my employees say they like me adn the two he told this (at least two could be more) one of them at least was mad and upset about it. why do i get treated this way? why dont i fit in? i think maybe everyone would be better off if i just took off and left people alone.
Posted 11/7/2010 6:39 AM (GMT 0)
Worried girl,

I know we wouldn't be, and I know a little girl and Husband wouldn't be - so don't let that stinking thinking take hold!

Do you belong to a union, start documenting things, getting things in writing, and present it to them. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS.

Please be very gentle with you at the moment, you are very much worth it
Posted 11/7/2010 10:01 AM (GMT 0)
agree fully with awty. you hang in there. healing prayers 2 you. jamie.
Posted 11/7/2010 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Awty too about documenting everything. Names and dates are very important. As long as you put a date on it, it becomes a legal document. So don't let them force you to quit if you want to stay. I can't believe that this is happening to you. This is terrible.

Keep posting and let us know what is going on.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/7/2010 1:05 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, document and journal.
Do everything you can to maintain your image as the boss or your employees. Don't engage them in endless discussion of this thing. Now you know whats going on behind your back. maintain dignity.
Have you faced this person who said they want you to quit or get fired? Point blank asked did you say this? Why did you say this? Thats called following the chain of command. First, deal with your problem person, your joint superior next. Stay professional. Don't engage in an argument with this person, gather the facts. Maybe say you have a lot of nerve. You have undermined me in front of the others. And drop it.
Wishing you success. Hang in there.
Posted 11/7/2010 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
In regards to:
why do i get treated this way? why dont i fit in? i think maybe everyone would be better off if i just took off and left people alone."

There are bumps in everyone's road thru life. This is just one person who is a bump. Not a road block, you can go around, or over. You DO fit in, your employees, at least two were upset about this comment that was made, and told you. They don't want to see you go, or get sacrificed. The only one who would be glad if you gave u is this person who is the bump in the road. Maybe jealous of you. Maybe wants you to do something specific to rectify the situation.
Find out, you CAN do this ! Soon this bump will appear smaller and smaller in your rear view mirror as you are speeding along confidently down the road. Really ! Then all's you will have to do is keep your eyes on the road ahead.
Posted 11/7/2010 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Worried,

Yes - you are being burned where you work, and that's unfair. Too many jobs are not about what you do, but what politics are going on around you. I have had the same happen to me - twice. Lost a job in one case and a promotion in another - because I let my guard down, and I trusted people that were untrustworthy, and I let things happen without fighting back.

Document everything you can - as others have said. Fight for what you believe in. If your job is important to you, then don't let this individual win.

scythia
Posted 11/8/2010 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
I confronted the manager and he said he never said it and he overheard the employees, one of which told me and the other that they were being promoted to get rid of me and he says he told them it was a lie and he told me he never would say it and went on to tell me he was proud of my numbers. I'm not sure who to believe but I feel better about that. My comanager even said at one point he wanted me gone but he said that I stood up and never gave up no matter how hard he pushed me to quit and he respects me for it. He told me if I can handle that then I can handle this
Posted 11/8/2010 7:13 AM (GMT 0)
The point is though, you shouldn't ever have to handle it, it is unprofessional standards.

Glad you confronted though, man that must have been hard.

Continue to document, it will be handy later maybe, or you may never have to use it, but at least you have it.
Posted 11/8/2010 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

FROM JAMIE. I'M IN YA CORNER. KEEP BEING STRONG, JAMIE.
Posted 11/8/2010 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
no i shouldnt have to handle it, i have never been treated like this and i hate it. i am going to the doctor today i hope she gives me something for the way i been feeling, some sort of mood stablizer. maybe it will help with the way i am feeling. the stress at work and at home is driving me crazy. i never thought i would feel this way as i am a person that just bounces back from everything so why cant i now. i dont fit in anywhere and i should be used to that but im not.
Posted 11/8/2010 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
I always felt like I didn't really fit in anywhere. Then I realized that I am a unique individual and that is just the way it was. I found new friends that I could relate to and they could relate to me. There are many people out there that feel this way. That is what makes us so unique. Try to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are your own person and you are a good person. In time you will find people that you click with. It is just a matter of time. Choose your friends wisely. Take time to get to know people. Don't commit to anything before you learn to trust people. The right people will come around. It is frustrating, but it is worth the wait. You have many good friends here. Remember that.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/8/2010 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
everytime i find one i think i click with i lose them for things unknown. i lost my bf from high school because i fell in love and he was in love with me and he wanted me to be happy so he backed down so that i can be with my now husband, i lost another because i asked her to stop texting at 730 am and then i have one best friend who has put me on a back burner because of her new boyfriend. i dont know if i am meant to have a friend. maybe i am meant to be alone with just my hubby and my daughter, and even i get on his nerves. i snap at him and yell when it is not needed and i am not happy with that. i try not to but i do it still the same. i just need to get this under control. i am glad for you guys and i h ope i never lose you guys.
Posted 11/8/2010 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
went to the doctor and she said i need to see a psychiatrist but because of the insurance i have she cant refer me to one but i have to find my own. so now here goes me finding a psychiatrist which i dont think i need i just need a mood stablizer.
Posted 11/10/2010 11:24 PM (GMT 0)
I have decided that i will not let someone dictate my day, i make my own day and im gonna have a good day at work as much as i can and not let someone get me down. i will not let someone effect my day. i am still not feeling happy, and i am still stressed but i will get there. i got a call about a place i can go to get what i need so i will be looking it up tomorrow. any ideas on how to handle it.
Posted 11/11/2010 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Worried Girl,

I am new to this forum, but I know whatyou are going through... I suffer from Bi-polar and severe depression.  First about how you feel about yourself... I know you are feeling worthless right now, but it will pass... and when it does, becaseu it will... when you are in good spirits, write down all the great things you have done in your life... post them on the refrigerator or mirror so you see how many great things you hve done.  Do you know when you are nice to a stranger and smile, that can change a persons day or life?  We all do great things everyday, we just can't see them when we are in this black hole.  But if we have them on a piece of paper in front of us so we can see them when we are down... it helps us get out of that hole... I callit the black hole... I talk my way through it now... You have a daughter and husband that apparenty love you and support you.  You are so lucky...2 people that need you and love you...

As far as work goes, I agree with so many of the others, document everything!  If you can get emails or texts with any of this info in writing, it is better for you.  But if you feel you are being set up to fail, 1. I would start looking for a job where you will be happy and not be treated this way.  2.  Ask to speak with your Boss, and  act in a manner of disbelief, like saying, " I overheard so and so speaking about.... if this is true, can we discuss this further so I can better understand how I can make things better? 

Do not accuse them... they will get defensive... Otherwise go speak to your boss' boss.  A boss should not be speaking to other employees about your performance.  It is wrong.

I wish you the best... remember you are a wonderful person and every time you smile at someone or say something nice, you are making a difference in so many people's lives... You have mine without even knowing it... :)

Posted 11/11/2010 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ARM1969,

Welcome to the Healingwell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us and you gave Worriedgirl some great advice. I agree. Document everything, even the good things. This has helped me with lawsuits and getting unemployment. It is so important.

I hope that you stick around. If you are comfortable with it, start a thread of your own to introduce yourself. We would all love that.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/11/2010 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
thank you arm1969 i am glad you replied. not sure how i have helped you but im glad i did. things are better at work but only because i am making speed of service and but when they realize i am n ot kissing their butts it will be back to the norm. they know i am at my wits end so they are backing down. i dont know. i love what i do but i hate being treated so badly. this week has been good though so i am happy for it. i just cant get past this depression. i think its work and home together. i normally bounce back but i cant this time, why is that? i am about to call and make an appointment if i can just get myself to dial the number.
Posted 11/14/2010 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hope you make that phone call to get in with a psychiatrist. How about the free clinic?

You may not feel great, but you are doing FANTASTIC ! Its hard to be in a situation where you are uncomfortable, and feel people are just waiting to pounce on you. You are standing tall and proud.

Keep your sites open and look/think about another job. Someone says that Craigs list has good jobs, surprisingly. You might want to make a move.

When an employer is called as a reference check, they are not allowed to say anything more than verify that you worked there. Or were terminated. Or you quit. And the dates.

Since you are being so strong, your persecutors might get tired of picking on you and give up. You should always be on your guard with them tho.
Posted 11/14/2010 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
Lovely, things were going so well but now he us mad because I refused to drive a half hour away to get him ones and go to get toys. It's my day off, I wouldn't get paid and so he sent our district an email telling on me. Sure I should have left a note but he wouldn't have been able to do anything til 9 either way. So he saying I'm not a teamplayer again, which means him treating me like crap again. It's not my responsibility to go get product on my day off
Posted 11/15/2010 1:10 PM (GMT 0)
i feel in my heart that he is throwing a grownup temper tantrum because i am not doing what he wants, even though it is on my day off. Now that i wouldnt do it i know he is gonna try treat me like crap. i know what he wants. he wants me to quit, but i wont let him push me to that point. no one has done it before and no one will do it now. the only thing is it doesnt help how i feel. the stress just wont leave me, the feelings of worthlessness. he makes me feel so bad and i hate it. a person can only be pushed so far, and he is pushing me to that limit, im afraid i wont be able to hold out much longer and im gonna snap and unleash all the fury on him that he has built up, which in turn can get me fired.
Posted 11/15/2010 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
Try to keep your cool on this one, I have a feeling you are going to win out in the end. This guy is being unreasonable. I wouldn't even answer my phone on my days off. Do you have caller ID? He is being unreasonable. You are a team player when you are at work. You live for yourself on your days off. Don't let this guy get to you. And sending you texts is very unprofessional in my opinion. You might have to go over his head yet.

Keep up the good work. Hang in there.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/16/2010 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
Just reread some previous posts, noticed you have a new thread going. Good.
Noticed the place where you were talking about losing friends, and told some girl not to cll or text at 7:30 in the morning. You were 100% right. Setting boundaries is a good thing, and that she doesn't want to be friendly anymore shows that she is immature and a taker. You're better off without that, and I hope you can just be civil, smile and say hello. Thats enough. There are certain distinctions in relationships that makes them fall into certain categories, everyone is not friend material.
Bosses, keep at a professional distance, co-workers, a little closer, but never confide anything personal, ever, acquaintances, same there, keep it light. After years go by and you have had enough time to have established trust with a person, then you can call them a friend.
No one should be calling you about work issues on your day off, ever. Don't answer. Unless you're a brain surgeon, that is, ha ha. Life's too short to get sucked into everybody's drama.
Posted 11/16/2010 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Just reread some previous posts, noticed you have a new thread going. Good.
Noticed the place where you were talking about losing friends, and told some girl not to cll or text at 7:30 in the morning. You were 100% right. Setting boundaries is a good thing, and that she doesn't want to be friendly anymore shows that she is immature and a taker. You're better off without that, and I hope you can just be civil, smile and say hello. Thats enough. There are certain distinctions in relationships that makes them fall into certain categories, everyone is not friend material.
Bosses, keep at a professional distance, co-workers, a little closer, but never confide anything personal, ever, acquaintances, same there, keep it light. After years go by and you have had enough time to have established trust with a person, then you can call them a friend.
No one should be calling you about work issues on your day off, ever. Don't answer. Unless you're a brain surgeon, that is, ha ha. Life's too short to get sucked into everybody's drama.
Posted 11/16/2010 7:56 AM (GMT 0)
well i am officailly hating my job right now. my co yelled at me again for not coming in to get the change or product and told me next time he is gonna make me come in, and if i dont answer he will keep calling and calling and calling. uggg i hate him so much. he says im not a team player. why am i not a teamplayer? because i wont jump when he says jump. i cant take much more. im bout to snap and its not gonna be good when i do.
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