i made the appointment

so i went ahead and took the first step and made an appointment. i will be going tomorrow to talk with someone and hopefully get on a mood stablizer. i hope they do it because even though i am not showing it facial wise and body wise i am feeling it. i am stressed out but i cant show it cause it will effect my daughter. i know most is because of my job, is it sad that i let my job get me to this point. some is from stress at home but a majority is one of the managers at my job who has pushed me this far. i cant do it anymore, and i know i cant do it on my own. i am weak i guess.

thanks karen. it makes me feel weak. i have had a manager that treated me like this before and it never got to me so i dont understand why i am letting this guy do it to me. maybe because he is texting me too. it was a mistake to allow him to in the first place but i thought he was a better person. but ever since my father in law died he has been treating me like crap. i hope i also get something to help me. i cant handle this and i feel like im on the verge of snapping.

Its very wise to realize when you have had enough, and take the initiative to get help. You are not weak. Sometimes we are stronger than others, that's OK, we're human.
Next time your boss texts you, why don't you text him back and say "Please don't text me anymore, I prefer you to reach me by xxxxx." Just get him to stop. That's setting a boundary, and you are entitled to do that.
Its like the phone, its my phone and when someone is calling, I screen, that I know is going to effect me negatively, I let it go. And if it comes up, I just say, oh, sorry, didn't get to my return calls. And quickly say, how ya doin today? They start blabbing and forget about it.
Have a thought session with yourself and ask yourself exactly what does he do to make you feel like crap. Like a list. Its him, not you. If you can put a stop to anything more, you will be better off for it.
Some people like to walk all over us, but then again, we let them, and they get used to it. Its OK to backtrack and change some things, you have a right to do so, for your sanity.

i went to the therapist and i cried, literally cried and told him everything that i was feeling and how i snap at people and sometimes yell. i then got scared and asked if they can take my kid away and he said no that i was strong for coming. he said the way i talk it sounds like my strengths is my ability to put my feelings aside and still be a good mom. he listened so well and may put me on some meds later but today was just an assessment. he said that i sound like im too hard on myself. i feel a lot better today, but i know when work comes it will fade. it felt good to talk to someone about my problems. i hope it works. i like this guy, he has a nice smile and he listens to me and told me w hat sounded like strengths in what i was saying and t hat i am only human. he even said it was not a problem for me to cry. i am going back next tuesday.

I saw my psychologist today too. She told me the same thing only different circumstances. But she said I was doing good for what I have been going through and that I am stronger than I think. So we both had good therapy sessions today.

I am so happy that you are going through counseling and that you are feeling better. Try not to project that you wont have the strength at work. You might just surprise yourself. You are in the right, you always have that going for you. Keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen

I think that you have started a healing process now and that it will be a continuation of that. It can only get better. It sounds like he is a good therapist and very compassionate and understanding. I am so happy for you. Some of us go years before we find somebody that we click with. I have had quite a few, only one or two that I didn't really like. And I didn't continue with them. But I have learned that they are only human too and some make mistakes. But we are (the patient) the ones who end up suffering some.

It is hard for me to cry. But when I get angry I cry so I am no good in an argument. I can't keep it together for some reason. I use to cry at the drop of a hat. Was very sensitive. I am still sensitive, but don't cry as easy. It can be a huge relief and I am glad that you did. It is cleansing and I am sure that it helped you to feel better.

Anyway, you sound so happy and I am so happy for you. I hope that things continue to go well. For both of us.

Hugs, Karen