Having a down moment .........

Hey All,

This is the part of depression I hate the most - when for no reason you can think of you just start to feel so dang sad and the tears start as you cannot stop them.  So I am sitting here in tears trying to take my own advice and let them flow without trying to figure out what triggered them.

I miss my son, my sisters and brother,  I miss my Dad............... this is where I beg them to look over me and I remember I have angels above.

Thank you for being here.

Hugs,

Kitt

 

Lil Ole Kitt,

It's ok to have the down moments, with all you have been through in life, this is very normal, and as long as it doesn't go on for too long, it is also very healing.

When we have lost so many, we can not help but think about the loss as a whole, rather than individual looses. I try to avoid doing it as a whole, I can not help start thinking about my Dad, and then moving to my Grandad, and then my Brother. (They all died the same way)

When I become aware of this, I try not to lump the loss as one HUGE loss, when grouped together, it become to big for me to manage, and too hard to pull myself back again.


As for figuring out what is triggering your emotions, I would hazard a guess and say, the holiday periods approaching. Always does it to me too. We don't need to always figure out the why, just ride the emotions out Kitt, allow them to be, and then when you are ready, pull yourself back again. There is nothing wrong with tears, the tears that fall now, are the ones you won't have to cry again later, it is all healing.

*Holds arms out wide, scoops up Lil Ole Kitt, and holds her tight*, xxxxxxxxxxx

Aw, Kitt, that's sad. Happens to all of us, even the strong and pro-active.
How about a movie out? shopping? I was down yesterday, just wanted to pick up the car from the shop, come home and go to bed. But trudged forward, did my errands, and somehow the managed to go till 5:30. Marked off everything on the list. Not so down now.
Remembering your lost loved ones is difficult to handle emotionally. Good that you cried. How about some kind of a special tribute to them, balloon launch, scattering flowers at the duck pond. Make something special that your mom taught you.
Read that lemon juice will counteract acid effects, sounds the opposite, but isn't. Maybe you could put a lemon slice, squeeze it into your beverage.
Hope you achieve some resolve this holiday.
Its hard.

Best wishes,

Dear Kitt,
The holidays can be so difficult for so many. I know you've had a rough go of things the last couple of years, so try to cut yourself a bit of a break. Take time to rest & maybe schedule an extra counseling session or two.
I feel really discouraged too when I feel like I was making such good progress and then hit a huge set-back but I've been finding that when I accept that it's okay to be sad for no reason sometimes. I take a day or two to have as my bad days. I let myself cry & lie in bed & eat ice cream. I just set a deadline to it & if after a time of letting myself feel sad I find I can't continue on with life, I call my counselor.
You are such a strong person & even the strongest people need some time to grieve or feel sad or be lonely. One thing I know that helps me is to go to a special place & I pick up a small flat rock and take some time to remember each loved one -- all the good things we did together, their best traits, their dreams for me -- and then I either put the rock into the ground as a memorial or I toss it into the water. I know that our time together & their wishes are carried forever in my heart and by taking time out to remember those things, it renews the joy I felt when they were with me.

peace, hugz & prayers,
frances

Lil Kitt,

I agree, I too struggle with seeing loss as a whole, and not just people, but then once caught up in it, loss of childhood, loss of 'normal' life, and the list goes on and on, about what could have been.

This is the very reason, if I am thinking about Dad, I try to just think of him, or it does get way too big, and takes awhile to come right again.

I think the wreath is a great idea, I believe, there are special little compartments/boxes inside us, when we want to 'visit' the loved ones passed, we go to that special place inside of us, and we spend as much time there as we need. No-one knows it's there, which makes it really special.

Feeling these feelings are a positive healing step Kitt, even if it makes you feel crappy as, I see it as a natural process. I am really pleased you are able to cry, (I can't/won't), tears are a wonderful release, even if they wipe us out.

I hope today, you are feeling a whole lot better, stay strong, stay true to you, and thankyou for all you do for others, even when you are going through tough things yourself, xxxxxxx

Frances, that's a great idea with the rocks, every anniversary, I go to the river, but I bring the rock home, and have them in a lrge glass bowl on the bench.  I also light incense at the river, and at the end, watch the stick taken down stream by the current, that is such a powerful letting go thing for me. 

Post Edited (awty) : 11/21/2010 4:22:07 AM (GMT-7)

I think we all have those days, at least i know i do, it feels good to let it out sometimes. Hope you have had better days since then, hugs and prayers over to ya@!!!!!!

Wow, you are all so kind and awesome.  Maybe we could have a once a month worry day and just get it out of our system.

You each have advised me well and I do take to heart your responses and remember always that I am never alone.

I am better today and I did get out today even though it was raining and then turned to snow.  I had lunch with my dearest friend of 31 years.  We had a mistaken falling out where we both got hurt and I think I was feeling down thinking of how much time we let go by assuming the other one did not want to be friends anymore.  It has been 4 years since we saw each other and we used to be joined at the hip.  I truly received an early Christmas gift, one of love and friendship here and in person.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

How absolutely wonderful Kitt!
I am so happy you have found healing in that relationship.

that is so good to hear! i love hearing nice things like that, friends truly make this life worth living.

Thanks everyone !  (((((((Hugs)))))))).

Old Hippy,  It is good to see you my friend and thank you for the kind words along with everyone elses. I hope all is well with you and that you have a new friend in your life  .

I am very happy to have my best friend (Nancy) back in my life and to know we can both let go of the hurt and move on.  Forgiveness is more than a decision. It only happens when your heart and head agree that it is time to let go and for both of us it was the right time. 

It's Genetic,  Do pop in and read in the Anxiety Forum as many of the topics there cross over into depression ~ you will find another group of awesome members who are wise and wonderful like the members in this great forum.

Karen visits us when she has time and has always been a big support to the members in A & P.

Almost turkey day folks.  Remember to give thanks in whatever tradition you are used to or set new traditions.

Love and hugs,

Kitt

 

Thanks engraved,  that is nice of you.  ((((((((Hugs)))))))