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Posted 12/19/2010 10:17 AM (GMT 0)

Lately i find myself asking whats my purpose, in life. School is horrible, my grades are low, my social life at school is bad. I have no friends. I forgot how to make friends I convinced myself that i dont need any. . 

 

I find myself always pushing everyone away. Sometimes i just want to be invisible. When i see my siblings happy i get upset, in get angry at them. I hate to see them happy cause im not.

 

I have a boy who seem to be very intersted in me but i wont allow myself to be with him. Because i dont think any thing good will come out of it.

 

Theres no peace at home, cause theirs drama there. Its stressful. And when i try getting some time to myself im always intrupted. In when im ignore by everyone (even though i want to be invisible) i get upset.

I have so many emotions. I hate my familys happiness. I hate  the fact that i happen to be so upset, I hate myself because of it.

Im not crazy or anything, im just lost. I dont know who to talk to. Cant talk to any of my sisters cause i dont like to express myself to them.  Just was hoping that you can make sense of all this. My mind is in so many places thinking about so many different things. Just want somebody to talk to. I dont intend to go to a thirapist.

Posted 12/19/2010 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
this is going to sound like such a cliche, but i know how you feel.

school for me has been horrible because i've been bullied constantly for the last year, and because of that, the group that have done it have made a lot of people in their year hate me by spreading rumours. my grades dropped. i didn't want to go into school, i only have a small number of friends i can really trust, and even though things have died down i'm left with the memories of everything that happened over the past year, and it's making me dread school and i feel so so down about it, because there's nothing i can do about it.
and i know it's not exactly the same situation, but i can relate to you.

and even though you feel bad about school now, you are only there for a bit longer, then you are out and can choose exactly what you do and who with. and even though you will get told this a lot, things will get better. slowly and sutily it will happen, but you will one day stop and look back and realise how far you have came through this. and you will be happy. i promise :)


you need to let people come close to you, drop you're barriers, do something crazy (like speak to a stranger) and just make some friends. friends are what keep you saine throughout the crazy times, and you will benifit from having them.

and you say you want to be invisable? i'm sure you'd rather have you're family notice you. just sit down and talk. hug you're mum. say you love her. cry. laugh. do whatever you have to do. but it will make things better in the lonng run.

and this boy? live a little. you're young, you're free to do what you want! just go for it, if you don't like it then leave him (nicely of course) but you'll never know.

don't grow old saying "what if..." and "i wonder if i had done this...", grow old smiling at all the times you got through, good and bad. and the friends you met on the way.

listen to these songs, trust me, they'll make you feel better:

taylor swift - enchanted
leona lewis - happy
daniel powter - bad day
don't stop believing - glee version (it's more upbeat)
walking on sunshine - katrina and the waves

and when you're feeling low, just listen to one of thoose songs and you will feel better. :)
Posted 12/20/2010 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
PS NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THERAPY!!! HAS SAVED ME MANY TIMES. AND I HAVE DONE SOME THERAPY (PAST) AND I AM BACK IN NOW. SAVED ME MANY TIMES. THERAPY...........FROM TOTALLY LOSING IT!!!!! JAMIE.
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