beat down but doing good

well i am doing good. i like my therapist and my psychiatrist they are like a  compliment to each other even though they dont know each other. my therapist is a guy that i just feel so comfy with and he understands and listens and tells me when im doing good things and his smile is just so bright. when he smiles it brightens up his face, he is in at least his fifties. my psychiatrist is a woman and she seems so nice. i only talked to her once but she has this air of confidence and is not condescending at all. she put me on stratterraa 40 mg. it seems to be working but it makes me so tired. i am hoping that it will pass as i adjust to it. i mean so tired i just have to sleep. if i take it and i am working i am fine but if i take it and then i am relaxed i get so tired. i even fell asleep at a red light. its not all the time either. my coworker says that once i adjust to it then it shouldnt do it anymore. i have to go get my kid and then go to the store and the laundry and sweeping. i am making lists and i am doing it. its like i am accomplishing some things.

i sure hope so, i cant afford to fall asleep at the wheel lol. i go back on the 14th to the psychiatrist and she will see how the strattera is working for me. at first it literally made my mind feel fuzzy but now its like my mind has gone quiet. i cant even daydream during the day lol but i think thats a good thing. funny thing is i kinda miss it yet i am glad that i am able to get a few things done now. its working i just got to get used to it. is that weird? to miss the unquietness of the mind. i swear it feels weird.

on a funny note on new years eve i had a few sips of alcohol but my nose hurt to bad so i didnt drink but a sip or two then hubby accidently bumped my nose so needless to say i had to take a percocet. well at 2 am i apparently in my sleep violently shook hubby awake and was like "go check on michael he is crying" and hubby was like michael who and i told him "he is crying go check on michael". we have no kid named michael nor do we know a kid named michael. then at 4 am i violently shook hubby awake again and was like "the darn thing is to big to get in the house and we are going to have to break it apart to get in and im not carrying anything". i have no idea why or where they came from but hubby said i did that. so i guess no more percocets for me lol.

yeah i must been reading your mind then karen lol. it was funny and i laugh whenever i think on it. i dont normally talk in my sleep either, although i once was told i took a complete order in my sleep for kfc even though it was a dream i was talking as if i was taking a customers order. so i think i do it every once in awhile when im either stressed or too tired lol. it feels good to be able to breathe and yes living in the moment is good i just have to adjust. sometimes it takes an adjustment for t he goood things in life.

ps whats worse is tomorrow is my moms birthday and she has been dead a year. im a lil sad

i cant take half as it is not supposed to be broke up, but i think that its starting to not make me as tired now, i took it yesterday and i was fine with no tiredness. i go back on the 14th for them to see how i am doing on it. i do like how it makes me focus but i feel kinda weird without my daydreams lol. its a good thing really as im starting to focus better and even getting compliments from the manager t hat has treated me like crap for so long. he even said he is gonna help me get promoted to assistant.

OMG my comanager, the one that was treating me bad, told me today that he was proud of me and that i was doing good. Ok what happened to the butthead and i do not want him back. it threw me through a loop but it made me smile so big. wow

well i messed up at work again but it turned out okay, manager is pissed but not yelling at me or acting like it but i know she is but it was something that needed to be done. i thought that my comanager told me to put the lights that our in our name into the c omputer to be fixed so i did and it gonna cost 1500 to fix. well there goes our bonus. turns out he just wanted them wrote down but he says he should have been more clear and that they needed done anyways. but other then that i am doing good and he says he is proud of me and how i am doing.