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Posted 2/13/2011 4:29 PM (GMT 0)

Hi.

I'm new to this forum and am hoping someone might have some helpful suggestions.  I am one of the people who suffer from depression and have no success with medication.  I have tried numerous ones, and they never help my symptoms.  I am now trying behavioral therapy and feel it's helping somewhat.  However, to make behavioral changes you have to be able to change the behaviors and be motivated to do that.  And that's my problem.

I woke up so angry today because I missed a support group meeting yesterday, and I didn't make it to church today.  I was just too exhausted and depressed to make myself go.  I know the social interaction helps, but I just can't get going.  (I should mention I'm only 30 days into the behavioral therapy program, and it takes 3 full months to ramp-up.)  I know Valentine's Day is causing me problems.  I went through a divorce a few years ago that just decimated my life, and it's been impossible to try to rebuild it despite numerous efforts.  After the divorce (in which I lost everything), I ended up in a low-paying job that has a crazy schedule.  My schedule severely limits my time with friends and family, and I have no money to ever do anything on my own.  The economy hasn't helped me to find a better job.  So I remain isolated a lot of the time (which is extremely bad for me as it is for most depressed people).  So....

I was hoping someone on this forum might have some tricks for getting going when everything just seems too overwhelming.  I'd greatly appreciate it!

- joy seeker

Posted 2/13/2011 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi joy seeker,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so happy that you have joined us. I think a huge effect in life is learning to take it one day at a time. You woke up today and were still upset about missing a meeting yesterday and that caused you to miss church today. You are letting things in the past effect your future. You have to put tomorrow behind you. And start from scratch the following day. It takes time and practice. But you can master it. I know that you can because you are trying. When we dwell on things, it causes us to not be in the now. And things go wrong because we aren't paying attention to what we are doing at that particular time. Practice being in the now. In just that moment. I just went through this because I had a dental appointment. For a week I dwelled on that. I had so many accidents, dropping things, knocking things over, by not paying attention. Now that it is over, I feel better. But I was even doing it subconsciously.

Maybe take a little walk or something. It is suppose to be warmer for a few days. Even if it is only five minutes, it helps you to feel better. The most important thing that works for me, is if I don't feel like doing anything, I allow myself that. And I don't feel guilty about it .

Keep trying. Keep working on the therapy.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/13/2011 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,

Thank you so much. Part of my behavioral therapy is trying not to dwell on past things that have gone wrong. I think that's the hardest part of everything I'm trying to do! Not feeling guilty about whatever has gone wrong is also tough. After many years, I'm just coming to accept that depression is a disease and that you can't always change the way it affects you. That's also hard for me because my family has never acknowledged depression at all (even though my mother and aunt had it). And my family is big on always being "in control" even though there's so much in life you can't change.

Thanks for the encouragement and support. I'm glad I found this group!

joy seeker
Posted 2/13/2011 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Too bad that they don't realize that getting control of your depression is being in control. But some people are embarrassed by it and think of it as being "crazy". When that isn't even the case. Or they are afraid of it. Some just plain don't understand it. But it is no fun.

There is a book called "Feeling Good" (the new mood therapy) that goes along with cognitive behavioral therapy. It is written by Dr. Burns. You might want to get that book. It teaches you how to live in the moment. The difference with 'all or nothing' thinking. If you get a chance, look it up. You can often get used ones really cheap. I think it would help you.

I hope that you are feeling better. You are on the beginning of a healing journey. And I think that you will get all the way there. But have patience, it all comes in time.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/14/2011 1:08 AM (GMT 0)

Karen,

Thank you.  I will look for that book.  It sounds like it would help.  I'm trying to do this mostly on my own since I don't have the money for regular therapy.  I read "The Depression Cure" by Stephen S. Ilardi, and it had some wonderful recommendations that I'm trying to put into use.  I definitely appreciate all the resources I can find.

Thanks again for your assistance.  I really appreciate it - it makes me (and I'm sure everyone on this forum) feel less alone.

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