my stepdaughter

Hi Doglover,

I love dogs too. have two.

I would think if your husband wants her to get another chance, I would tell him okay but make some rules. It is hard to be a stepmom. I know. I have been though it. But she is your husbands flesh and blood. So there is a bond there. And going against him might mess up your marriage. I guess though it depends on your relationship with him as to how you are going to approach this. I would hate to see your marriage fall apart over the stepdaughter. Give it a try, but set some firm rules. It sounds like she is way out of control. Have you thought about counseling for her? Maybe make that one of the rules. She neeeds some guidance and some set rules I think.

I hope that things get better for you. If you are feeling down, come here. We are more than happy to help you the best we can. Don't avoid coming here when you need to.

Best wishes

Hugs, Karen

Hi, it is doglover here and I thank everybody for their advice. My stepdaughter has been at her moms for a week now because she is not ready to come talk to my husband and i yet. I feel that she is still a child and should not be making all the decisions and making us wait until she is ready. We are all a part of this not just her. She has a real problem with authority figures in her life and I think that that is one of her biggest problems. Before she left we grounded her from her boyfriend and that is when she left. Everybody seems to be treating her with kid gloves. I think that she should come back here and face her problems. Let me know what you guys think.

Doglover4

Hi Doglover4 here. When it comes to my stepdaughter and her packing her things and going to her moms I am still really angry. She cannot run away from her problems or punishments all the time. Right now I feel that she is trying to get everybody to feel sorry for her by saying that she has problems that she has to deal with. She didn't have any problems before we grounded her. She has not even contacted or called my husband and I think that that is really bad. We took her away from that "terrible" enviroment at her moms and now she has gone back to that. It has been really nice without her here . I know that sounds bad but there is no stress. I feel really scared to tell my husband how I really feel because he really gets mad. He is caught in the middle. He feels that if she stays at her moms and she runs away or goes down that wrong path that he didn't dp enough for her but I feel as if we have done more than enough and she is not appreciating any of it. My stepdaughter makes my husband feel really guilty that we were not there for her when she needed us. We always have talks with her and she just sits there and says nothing. I really wish that I could have the confidence to say that I don't want her back but if I do and anything happens to her it is on my shoulders. The atmosphere around here is so much better when she is not here because my husband and I sometimes disagree on punishments and rules. When she is not here we don't have to worry about that. I am so torn I wish I didn't have to deal with this.