Hello RealDeal,
This is Kitt. I have taken care of many patients with acoholism as well as come from a family of many acoholics. You are absolutely right, my friend, this is something you must do for yourself and we are here to support you in any way we can.
I would really like to see you join an AA group if there is one in your area. I am sure your Doctor could advise you. Yes, you have had a set back but get back on that horse and start moving forward again.
The co-founder of AA was Bill W. You will often see a sign or meeting room with a notice "Friend's of Bill" on the door. Trust me, there are nearly 17.6 million adults with alcoholism in the United States so you are not alone. The total AA membership is estimated at over 2,000,000 as many of the members have belonged for years to help then stay sober.
I know just thinking of giving up your crutch ( alcohol ) is frightening but it is worth it. When you have just stopped drinking, you think about it very often, but these thoughts disappear gradually. It is hard to say how long that will take. It's personal, but it is clear that having your life in order certainly helps. Not being dependent on alcohol means, among other things, that you are not looking for the effects of alcohol anymore.
In many cases, after an alcohol-free period, you will want to drink alcohol again. This can have several reasons: stress, don't see alcohol as a threat anymore, feel that you are back where you started when you have used again.
STOP - before you ever take that drink. Tell yourself you will be OK without it and make sure you attend as many support meetings as you want to - that will help you remember that you want your life back.
Despite all of the focus on drugs such as cocaine, alcohol remains the number one drug problem in the United States. You don't want to be part of this group.
Here they are - The Twelve Steps of AA
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I hope this helps you in some small way and remember we are here to support you so jump on that wagon.