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Posted 5/28/2011 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
I am on the depths of despair. I have literally no one to tun to or talk to. That is why I signed up for this forum. Yes, I have sought treatment, yes I'm on medication...and to be honest..I feel very disillusioned and disoriented as I have not been one to ever struggle with negativity or depression for 38 years (I'm 39).

I really haven't the energy to explain all the details as to why I am truly alone, but it is very real. Not a delusion...or simply a perception....I really am. No one. I've never been in this place. Totally alone (except for my two young kids, which makes me feel even more alone! It would be easier with out them. I know that's horrible to say, as I love them so much. I just can't take this anymore.)

I'm exhausted, tired, angry, abandoned and I'm ready to really give up. I live for escape at this point. I have social anxiety disorder so it's especially complicated and I can't find the courage to even get out. It seems to only make it worse to think about it...with all my inadequacies.

I don't want to hurt my children, but, I feel I can't go on. Life is not worth it anymore...there is not enough hope and I feel completely worthless.
Posted 5/28/2011 2:07 AM (GMT 0)
By the sound of it, you need a medication adjustment. Maybe an increase or something different. If the counseling isn't working for you, get a different counselor. You need to get better for the sake of your children. Is there somebody that they could spend some time with to give you a break? I imagine that you are due for that. I take it that it is just you and the kids. Are they in school yet? Or do you have them all day?

I am sorry for how you are feeling, and please, try not to take it out on them. Keep their best interest at heart. That is when things work out for you too.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/28/2011 7:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Reaching out,

You are not alone, we are all here to listen. I came to the Healing well website for support and to talk to others who were going through the same feelings of despair.

*HUGS*
Posted 5/28/2011 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Raising two children alone has to be tough. You are not alone and I have thought many times I would feel better if I was completely alone. When you are overwhelmed and lonely, dealing with people (family) is extra hard. Please check with your Dr., maybe a med change is in order and in the meantime, do not beat yourself up for the way you are feeling. I am sure you are doing the best you can right now. Take extra good care of yourself physically and keep searching for your path to wellness, you will find it if you want it bad enough.

Gem
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