sinking

I have never posted on a forum before, but I felt like if I didn't get some things off my chest they were going to drown me. I am getting ready to finish college, I have been married for 5 years. My husband seems to become less and less happy with me lately. Everything I do seems to make his blood boil. He is always complaining. I feel helpless and overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I cant changes the fact that I am very busy and can not keep up with house work or whatever. There is too much to even go into. I have a history of depression, and have not felt this bad in years.

I just read this and it doesnt even make any sense. But thanks for listening.

greate advice from A223, just know that there isnt a marage without certain problems. that is what life is about. imagine if all the Cars in the united states never stoped working, then all the Car Mechanics would not find a job :)

It's normal to have issues of problems in marrage and there is ways to fix them, you don't have to live with them, you can do something about it as Jo A223 said , either consuler or docor for one of you . maybe he's clinicly depressed or maybe you are clinicly deppresed, the good news is you can get out of it by dealing with it and confronting it

Now i can understand if your husbend does not agree with this , if in anycase you discuss with him and he feels everything is normal you can always go alone and discuss this with the consuler and ask his opinuin anyway

I wish the best for you and your husbend :)

I am sure it's hard to speak to your husbend about it , because it's propably a touching point and difirent views on this issue. ask you husbend if he feels everything should remain as it is , or should you consider doing something about it , don't try to change his mind if he refuses or starts making excuses etc , sometimes you can't change what other peopole think or view because the mind is a complex thing and every person is difirent than the other we were not created the same.

btw if your husbend has thought about it and he could not get a real decision about it , take your time don't presure him or such , let him take his time and leave the subject for a day or more then open it up again try to select confortable times etc, if your both relaxed or such, don't comfront him when he is back from work stressed for instance, make sure he is relaxed and in a situation he would be receptive to new ideas.

I hope this helps..

personally i think your normal and he is the one who is deppresed, when you say he gets angry often because the things you do or such, review yourself are you really doing something wrong? ask opinuin of someone close to you like your mother or sister, and ask her is what you doing wrong? the stuff which is making him angry. if your not doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary then he is the problem not you, you need to find out the source of the problem.

My parents were great toghether most of their lifes, until my father got diabities when he was around 58, he went into a depresive moood, because he also had high blood presure and he was getting very angry when he is at work , meaning people would get to him pretty quickly , and have the time he is shouting while working. even i was afraid to visit his office to see him like this , i offered my help to help setup some things at the time in his office , but because of his mood he droove me away and i didn't want to have anything to do with his work. so he retiered before 60 , and after that he started getting buesy with other things such as realstate but his condition kept getting worse , nobody wanted to get involved in things he does, he gets angry too quickly so me and my mother kept pushing him to see a doctor and get diagnozed etc, it was a very stressfull period. we were totaly convinced that his angry is not normal and it should be addressed, he started having insomnia and started to suffer even more, not getting enough sleep at night , so we told him that the deppresion and stress that he has is the cause, at some point he even started to prepare his will because he felt he was going to die very soon , me and my mum continued to put pressure on him to get medicated, everytime he gets very angry and says " I take a dozen of pills for my blood presure, diabities, cholestrol etc etc i don't want to get any other medication" he refused to aknowledge that something is wrong with him from a psyciatric point of view.

in the end he agreeed, after so much persuagion lol , his doctor gave him some pils for deppresion , and some to help him sleep and since then he has bin improving everyday, it's not an over-night quick recovery it was slow but his sleep is very regulated now, he is still sometimes stressed but only 1 time or 2 times per month it happens very infrequently compared to before and he is living a normal life, very active and has grown new hobbies etc that he didn't do before :)

Everytime I read a reply, I cry. I feel less alone.
Thankd you

Dear lost:

I have been the one repsonsible for sending vibs to my wkfe that I was not happy in our marriage of 20 years. She suffered alot from me and my anger. It wasn't until I started to get help for myself that I realized that I was hurting her and could not doo anything about it except work on myself. Your husbands happiness does not depend on you and yours does not depend on him. Hard to realize when they are such an important part of your life.

It is hard for me to see the way out of the storm of life when the waves are swriling around me. I always look to the light house to help me find my path through the storm. Look within yourself and you will find the lighthouse. I always do. It isn't always easy to find but is always there. Email me anytime you need to.