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so, I just want to die, but don't want to kill myself

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Posted 7/4/2011 4:34 AM (GMT 0)
So here it is, 12:30 in the morning, and I just don't want to live anymore. Been through tons of medical stuff, 19 surgeries, so many procedures, I can't count; constant pain, and feeling worthless and without value.
I swear I have more people who don't like me than do, or at least, those are who I remember the most. I always thought that if I could just get to______, then I would be happy; only problem is, I have gotten to ______ and happiness isn't there.
I've raised my sons, they're on their own; my husband, I'm sure will be just fine without me, and others will get on with their lives. I just don't want to live anymore.
Janice
Posted 7/4/2011 5:21 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Janice. Terrible to hear. I want to just wrap my arms around you and tell you it will be ok. You really need to talk to someone about how you are feeling. I've been there and know what its like. Trust me...there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Posted 7/4/2011 10:14 AM (GMT 0)
Janice,

I am so sorry for the way that you are feeling. Are you taking any meds, or going to any counseling? Both of these things could help you right now. And I think it is time to take that first step and see what happens. It can only get better. I am glad taht you have posted here. Keep posting, and know that we all care about you and we all understand what you are going through.

Please don't hesitate to call 911 if you get worse. We want to hear more from you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/5/2011 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone; don't feel as...sad....but not feeling that...happy either; detached is probably a good description. I have a psych that I've seen over the years; she's been very good at helping me through life issues, but do I feel that she's the one for this?, not so sure. I see my family dr. in a few weeks and will talk to him then; unless I feel like I did the other night, then I'll call to get in earlier.
:|
Janice
Posted 7/5/2011 11:59 PM (GMT 0)
Janice!, I know it's been a long time, but just want you to know that I hope you find your way and feel better. I'd listen to the people here. I would call my Doctor to see if the appointment can be bumped up.
Renee
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