Im being very hard on myself..its ridiculous..i just wanna cry..

Okay, So I've been home schooled for middle school and freshman & junior year of high school. I went to public school for sophomore year. I'm a senior now. Homeschooling has been easier cause we move a lot..due to money issues. Things are just hard right now. I went back to public for senior year,this year, but I only went the first few days and it was horrible. It was very big and kinda ghetto, no one was friendly, the teachers & staff were super nasty, and I had all these extra classes cause the schools graduation requirements were A LOT different than home school. I was struggling with that academically. I was just SO uncomfortable there. Never been so uncomfortable before...I came home crying. It was just too overwhelming, I guess I just wasn't used to public, since Ive only been once and it was so different than my last school. It was just such a negative place for me. And the only option my mom gave me was to be home schooled again. So that's what Ive been doing for the last 2 weeks. Ive never liked being home schooled..just the way they run things. I don't have many friends because of it. I know that sad but there's a lot more to this than just being very anti-social..so please don't judge me. I move a lot. Ive always wanted that high school experience. Every time Id try to get it, it was taken away cause we had to move. I wanted to graduate with my friends and do prom and senior ball and now I might not get to do any of that. I know these are all things that don't matter the most but its something that I wanted to be apart of. Something to look back on. I don't have memories like everyone else... Its depressing when I go onto facebook and everyone is posting things about school or just random pictures..and its sucks when I have no idea what there talking about. I'm just being SOOO hard on myself about this. It really is ridiculous cause its just high school. I'm trying to accept it in the best I can but its just so hard..
Its like, Ive waited for these events since I was younger...and now Its not happening for me like it is for others..I wanted to be that girl..but I'm not..My life isn't going the way I want...it just makes me so depressed and lifeless...
Its too late to go back to public now though, the year has already started so I'm stuck home schooled. which is okay..I just want to feel better about it..


I know its possible to feel better but..I'm just having trouble accepting the way things are and enjoying my last year of High school regardless of how or where I'm spending it.


All I do anymore is just sulk and cry about it. I just want to be happy..
I need encouragement...

Purplesky is correct, my high school experience was horrible and I never knew the right people to hang around with and now that I'm 27 I realised I was hanging with the wrong crowd.
There is alot more to worry about, including the stress for social acceptance within your peer group. Infact I went back and did my adult VCE, not sure what you guys call it in America.
Again the experience was okay, but still had trouble makers and immature childish behaviour, even though it was supposed to be an adult environment. I did really well and managed to finally pull off A+'s for once in my life and learn't alot which will help me in the future.
Same with home schooling, you have the opportunity to do what others can't and thats concentrate on your grades and not worry about all the things you need to at regular school such as: Bullying, social acceptance, being cast out by teachers. In my experience teachers will look after the A grade students and the trouble makers get left behind and yes I was one of these people until I went back at a mature age.
Try and look at it from a different angle and try and feel priviledged, yeah okay you don't have many friends at the moment, but what happens when you go to university or college? You will meet quality people that actually are studying for their future and not just going because they have to.

I understand the moving around all the time must make it extremely tough and hope that oneday you and your family will settle down some where to relieve the stress of it all. Remember this wont last for ever, just do your best and learn as much as you can. Make some future goals for when everything does settle down and you will surely get that experience in a wonderful environment such as university or college.

Good Luck and study hard, hope your dreams come through for you.

Kind Regards,

David.

Thank you all. I feel much better. your right..this won't be forever..I still have time. I think one of my problems is that I am much more mature that kids my age because I have been out of the loop for a while. Ive come to find that I am much more goal oriented than them and there more carefree. I need to learn to do a little of both though because I am still very young, 18. I am not going to attend a University but I will be attending a college for nursing and then after that I wanted to go to cosmetology school for esthetics. So one day I can work alongside a dermatologist:) I might go for hair also.

Thank you guys once again..it really did help me see the light. <3

Hi Rachface: I just wanted to jump aboard too and let you know that my high school years were awful. Everybody had a "clique" and I could never seem to fit in anywhere. However, I have wonderful college memories that will be with me for a lifetime.

I am sorry that you have had to move around so much. Between that and the home-schooling I can see why you are mature for your age. I know in my area there are a lot of groups for home-schoolers where they meet for activities in the local library or at historical places in the state. Additionally, many join extra-curricular activities after school that their towns offerl. ...Perhaps as another way to meet people more like you, you could try some volunteering activity? That would also be good to have for your college applications too.

Again, I can absolutely see why you would be upset with this being your senior year. But from my own experience I can honestly say my college years were the best.

Good luck!
Cass